Title: Reflection of the Sky: Shirou! Disciple of Yami!
Author: Fang King 2
Rating: M
Genre: Adventure
Status: WIP
Fandom: FSN/History Strongest Disciple Kenichi
Pairings: N/A
Summary: Shirou is the son of Emiya Kiritsugu...But after his death Shirou is a disciple of Hongou Akira, the Karate Master of Yami and titled God Hand. This is his new adventure.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7763755/1/Reflection_of_the_Sky_Shirou_Disciple_of_Yami

Almost every event that's happened so far in the story has been created, so no canon rehash. A good mixing of the Yami/Martial Arts world with the Magus world. Servants that can beat down Master Class fighters and good fight scenes in general throughout the story. A 4/5 from me for a crossover.

Edit: Meh, I just reread earlier chapters, and I guess I have to agree with the posts below. I guess when I recommend fanfictions I really have to scrutinize for grammar mistakes, etc. I read past them like they don't exist. My recommendation only came cause I enjoyed the idea, and the latest chapter was exciting enough that I wanted to recommend.

 

800 favorited crossovers coupled with YA fiction and shonen manga as someone’s only literary input should be portent of failures to come.

And they come by the galore: punctuation, sentence structure, tenses, and dialog are all spectacular screw-ups and seem to get worse in later chapters.

But the authot isn’t just a thoughtless fool, he is also a goddamn ellipsis-fetishist. Every sentence is riddled with an ellipsis, sometimes two for easy gratification.

Have this on me, you sick bastard:


Utter garbage, even by crossover standards and that’s saying something.

 

I agree with the angry guy above me.

Ignoring the grammar itself, there is literally nothing interesting about this story for two chapters. I read more than I would normally since I was assuming a DLP member would have higher standards, but nope.

For an example of the quality of the writing, this is how two boys argue with each other.

 

To be fair, I don't remember their age since it was a while ago since I read that chapter, but weren't they like 8 years old at that point? It's not something completely unbelievable. (I know I did that at that age). Still, I'm honestly not the best judge on grammar, as by this point when I read fanfiction, unless there are glaring problems, I don't even notice them. There are no glaring problems that makes it unreadable.

Perhaps my rating is skewed due to the small amount of fanfic in these two universe, and reading them just feels like a guilty pleasure for me. You are right nothing much happens the first two chapters, but to me they were just transitional chapters necessary for every Crossover (melding two worlds needs some explanation after all).

 

Excerpt from chapter one

Red = unnecessary
Bold = missing/wrong form
Underline = too garbled to make any sense

General poor wording aside, these are elementary mistakes that hinder understanding and any immersion the reader might have. Any hope for a sensible plot was lost right here.

 

I think I got about as far as "It hurts!" x a billion times. I saw the "Wish" x fifty and the "Kuremisago" x a hundred, before deciding to confirm my assumptions and declare this fic a steaming pile of shit.

Oh and at the risk of sounding like a broken record. Those ellipsis are freaking everywhere.

1/5

 

I tried to read this and well... It's just pure shit, the author writes as if he's a 5 year old narrating a fight he saw, mainly because of terrible grammar, and his love of sound effects. Overall 0/5, there is nothing redeaming about this fic at all.

 

You know, reading this was much like being say, in the middle of a desert. There's no water, and you come to the realisation that you may need to drink your piss - Bear Grylls style. You try to pretend that it's some exotic wine that you're having, you really try. But no, you're drinking fucking piss.

I love Fate Stay Night, and after gabriel_blessings "Honor Thy Masters", I've been quite interested in another decent Kenichi fic - both fandoms lacking in stories. So was pretty excited to see a crossover.

I got through 3 chapters trying to maintain my illusion that was I was reading was decent, trying to ignore the retardedness of it - and trust me, I can be quite good at that. I've managed to enjoy some utter shit in my life.

But this fic is among the WORST written I have EVER read. The writing is full of grammatical and spelling mistakes. Not just something that a beta could polish up, but consistently in every SENTENCE. He doesn't even manage to maintain what TENSE he's in, switching between present and past tense from paragraph to paragaph.

The actual story is just cheesy, and full of really lame interactions between characters. The concept could have been cool, but this implementation is just...guhhh...

Honestly tragicmat1, is this a troll, or did you seriously think this was a 4/5? Easily the WORST fanfic I think I've ever seen recommended on DLP.

1/5 - The 1 being that it could've been a cool idea...maybe.

 

After just one week and with meanwhile 10 votes / 1.5 stars there is no chance this thing won't land in the Recycling Bin. Moved into the trash bin.