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Complete Reforged by SleeperAwakens - M

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by James, Jan 18, 2016.

  1. James

    James High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2015
    Messages:
    568
    Title: Reforged
    Author: SleeperAwakens
    Rating: M
    Genre: Humor/Adventure
    Chapters: 20
    Words: 137,333
    Updated: Oct 5, 2015
    Published: Mar 29, 2014

    Status: Complete
    Library Category: General Fics
    Pairings: No pairing
    Summary: Harry's encounter with Voldemort in the end of the first book didn't end like we thought. Riddle didn't pass an opportunity to screw with the boy's brain. In the end, that small difference ended up changing Harry into someone who would become so much more than merely "Dark Lord's equal"...
    Link: Reforged on fanfiction.net

    Right, so: this story is third year to fifth year story, sort of prequel to what author seems to consider 'main story'. The point of divergence is a different chamber scene — combined with different meeting near Mirror of Erised, which is a touch more brutal for Harry and changes him; mostly though, it's an author changing the story from children's tale to YA story sooner than JKR did.

    Pros: It has a proactive Harry, and very good interaction between the trio and other characters. It has some more magic, even though it still feels Rowling-esque, meaning it has the feeling of Rowling's original magic, not something Santi or Taure would come up with (completely thought out system).

    Cons: It's a bit less grim than most DLP favoured stories, meaning that while actions have consequences, the effect on characters is a bit slim in comparison. Also, the characters might seem a bit too mature, though that is might be pro with all the rehashes we've all read.

    That said, I enjoy my stories where the characters aren't the whole time broken and on the brink of defeat, and a bit more involved Harry without overpowering him and without bashing is always plus.

    I enjoyed this one very much, so 4/5 from me.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 31, 2016
  2. newageofpower

    newageofpower Professor DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    480
    In his AN, he said he would be uploading the sequel by Nov2015…

    /notimpressed
     
  3. Suty

    Suty First Year

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2015
    Messages:
    39
    This is a 2/5.

    The author summarizes and TELLS the reader what Harry's first two years were like. At that point why bother mentioning it at all? Just start your story at the relevant bit or reorganize the plot to weed out unnecessary details.

    I skimmed the first chapter and the beginning of the second: no interest in reading the third.
     
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2016
  4. James

    James High Inquisitor

    Joined:
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    Maybe you should try reading the first chapter instead of skimming it. It would certainly help you with understanding the reasoning between the point of divergence — which is both meetings with Voldemort and mental processes of Harry.
     
  5. Suty

    Suty First Year

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2015
    Messages:
    39
    My issues had nothing to do with the mental processes of Harry or meetings with Voldemort. By skimming, I meant that I read couple paragraphs here and there and looked over the important parts (dialogue, actions involving characters) in between.

    -edit-

    To spell it out clearly: the author's execution is lacking and I'm not interested in whatever story he/she concocts because it'll be affected negatively. He/she might've well just put up a timeline of Harry's first two years and called it done ala Mass Effect fics.

    To be fair, the author could've done a 180 in terms of quality in chapter 3+, but he/she lost me after the first two chapters. That's my basic quality / filtering test for all books/stories.
     
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2016
  6. Atram Noctem

    Atram Noctem High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2015
    Messages:
    525
    I have to agree. The rehash hardly changed anything and was completely unnecessary. But this is not the reason I dislike this fic.

    First, Harry is annoying. He's like that hyperactive attention-whoring kid you had in primary school who you always wanted to punch. He's like that t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m copypasta. The author writes other characters laughing their asses off after he throws another "clever" one liner, but it's hard to buy it, because he's simply not funny.

    After all of this quirky edginess, he suddenly turns to think warmly of Hermione and how he missed her and couldn't do without her - which just doesn't fit the fic's tone, nor Harry's personality in it. I don't really need to say how irritating it is when she bosses him and Ron around, and they comply without complaint. The author wrote that he had done this because he wanted to emphasize her character development, but my experience with fanfiction tells me that this fic is not going to take her anywhere interesting.

    So now that that the humor aspect of the story fails, you're left with nothing. This fic feels immature in the most tedious manner. The plot isn't interesting. The only part that somewhat stands out in three chapters is Voldemort's double wraith, who you wish would just kill Harry and his friends already.
     
  7. KD_Man

    KD_Man First Year

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2010
    Messages:
    34
    I read the first two chapters and then dropped it. Not a good fic, for many reasons. 1.5/5
     
  8. Krieger

    Krieger Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2009
    Messages:
    1,305
    Spoilers ahead.

    This fic is all tell and no show, but its not 100% bad. All the characters are (read: most the time) shallow with no depth and are basic caricatures of their fanon selves. Don't get me started with the Professor Babbling greens-eyes nickname bullshit. It's directly copy pasted from another fic I thankfully forgot the name of.

    The story suffers major pacing issues, it can expand greatly on scenes relevant to Harry's magical/personal growth but skip plot important scenes with a very small amount of words, while other plot scenes can be expanded on. Basically however the author felt at the time of writing.

    The story is littered with typical fanon bullshit i.e. other schools learn dark arts and blood magic etc, so cool. Or more cliches like Harry doubling his wealth in a year after apparently taking the Malfoy's on in a small section of the herbology market. Because any child with an inheritance knows how to make money right? On the flip side, there are actually some nice repercussions for this later on the fic involving Umbridge.

    However for all the bad which you can put down to poor writing there are some redeeming qualities. Not enough to make the fic good, but enough that if you wade through the mediocrity you will find some gems.

    From the start when Harry meets the goblins and learns about Dumbledore gaining money from his vault the alarm bells start to ring, however this was just Harry's parents/grandparents supporting the war effort and there was no anger from Harry here at all. Nothing new or original, but it was handled smoothly and there was no angst scenes. A non-plot device with no relevance, but the author put it in anyway. That last sentence sums up 90% of this fic.

    Other things are done well like Harry leaving the Dursleys for the summer, Dumbledore learning of this and accepting it while convincing Harry to return at night to renew his protection. He can do what he wants during the day, but sleeps there at night. This all happens without any angst or arguments, Dumbledore rocks up and accepts that Harry doesn't want to be there and explains the situation. Harry understands, goes back to the Dursleys to sleep at night and the story moves on. All done with zero fuss that a lot of fics could learn from.

    This story also avoids bashing very well, so much so it must of been a conscious effort on the authors part. He tones down Hermione's character without bashing, there has been zero Ron and/or Weasley bashing which is typical in these types of fics (wtf? +1 already amirite?) and there hasn't been any 'Slytherins are just misunderstood' bullshit. Ron is becoming competent towards the end in his own way which is great aswell. Competent Ron is best.

    There are even some nice character pieces with some real quality behind it, like Harrys making out with the foreign chick at the Quidditch world cup actually felt like a teenager stumbling around for the first time. Moody is actually competent in this fic and a pleasure to read, with the limited screen time he has had he feels like a veteran who has faced death and commanded others and not just some anti-dark magic rage machine. The scene with Harry, Sirius and Moody was handled well.



    tl;dr This fic is just one big tell-fest of mediocrity, littered with a lot of fanon cliches and characterization that isn't over the top. It does contain surprising character pieces that are decent to read, while at other times all the characters seem shallow with no depth behind them, just going through the limited dialogue for the storys sake.

    A generous 3/5 overall leaning closer to 2 then 4. I only gave it 3 because there was actually some enjoyable, if rare, scenes in the fic that shows promise. The author needs more experience, especially with less tell more show, but overall with no bashing typical to these fics and some surprisingly good scenes the authors future fics might be something worth checking out if they improve.

    I think this author and and a lot of other fanfiction authors would benefit from reading the books again before they write a story to rid themselves of misconceptions we all get from reading fanfiction.
     
  9. Trig

    Trig Unspeakable

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2010
    Messages:
    702
    Location:
    Germany
    Fuck this guy for making me think that Awaken Sleeper got an update.
     
  10. Kinser

    Kinser Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2008
    Messages:
    111
    I couldn't make it past the second chapter. That is never good. I got bored with it quickly.

    As others have said, all tell, no show. The characters were flat, to say the least and over all the whole thing was just boring. I was left half way through the second chapter asking myself "why am I reading this?" and clicked the big red X.

    1/5 Seriously this fic is less exciting than watching paint dry.
     
  11. Puzzled

    Puzzled High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2014
    Messages:
    588
    I quite enjoyed it. It's not incredible by any means, but it's a nice competently done story. I don't think it's quite up to the standards of the library but it has moments and some cool magical ideas that made it worthwhile. It also changed names like three times, so if you don't recognize it initially give it a quick skim to make sure.

    3/5
     
  12. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Well, as was explained later, it's not about the reader being lazy. It's about the writing in the story being executed poorly.

    I started off reading. Things were interesting, picking the end of PS/SS for some divergence. That happens to be an AU point I like, and the bit about Harry "never being the same after" was solid, given that he'd endured a serious mental attack.

    But then the author just kept telling, and telling, and telling. I don't care about a bunch of crap that changed in Harry's first two years unless I'm going to experience it (I'm not, I'm being told about it), and I find myself skimming in order to get to some actual content.

    Then I kept going, still looking for something to latch on to. Because this is a common issue with fanfiction. Authors often fall into a trap of explaining their AU in detail early on before they get to actually telling a proper story. I stop every so often to read, and things appear to still be somewhat following canon. The Weasleys get a free trip to Egypt and so forth.

    There's minor changes, but not enough to make me want to dig in. Marge is still coming to visit and Harry wants his permission form signed. This time things go differently, with the Dursleys wanting Harry to just leave while Marge is there, and he gets his form signed, but I'd consider that a minor difference to canon. And the writing isn't good enough for 'minor differences' to be enough for me.

    Prose at this level, which is mediocre at best, has to have great, groundbreaking ideas and decent pacing. Otherwise the only way to make canon rehash work is to have the writing skills to make even minor changes feel fun and interesting.

    After Chapter 3 I skipped ahead to Chapter 20. Harry is hanging out with some OCs in what appears to be an original "Final Task" in the Tri-Wizard tournament. Then Voldemort is all up in things, and honestly it doesn't look bad... but it doesn't read well enough to make me want to go back and read the story properly.

    2/5 - I've read much worse. This isn't horrible, but it's also nowhere near library worthy imo.
     
  13. Snapdragon

    Snapdragon Banned

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2014
    Messages:
    290
    Reforged by SleeperAwakens - M
    Series Title: Reforged
    Author: SleeperAwaens
    Rating: M
    DLP-Category: General
    Genre: Humor, Adventure
    Pairings: Harry/Susan Bones...?
    Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10226216/1/Reforged


    Part 1: Reforged
    Published: May 29, 2014
    Completed: Fen 18, 2016
    Words: 137506
    Chapters: 21
    Status: Complete

    Part 2: (Is supposed to start March)

    Summary: Harry's encounter with Voldemort in the end of the first book didn't end like we thought. Riddle didn't pass an opportunity to screw with the boy's brain. In the end, that small difference ended up changing Harry into someone who would become so much more than merely "Dark Lord's equal"...

    Ok, how to sell this story. A lot of you are quite trigger happy and turn away after the first chapter because of some trope or cliche so you assume to know how this goes.

    It starts with Harry having a slightly different encounter with Voldemort in the first year which causes some personality changes and end with the COS Phoenix rebirth trope. But it doesn't really follow in the steps of *that* type of stories.

    It only really results into him being more interested in developing his abilities/life as a pretext for the coming changes. He's taught by McGongal and later by Flickwick in a quite natural way. I never really get the blatant Gary Stu feeling.

    The plot changes from canon at the end of COS and the summer in an interesting way with subtile changes to the PoA plot and the following 1-2 years happen different.

    IMHO the biggest strength of the story is that the plot appears fresh while still walking somewhat in canon footsteps. Quite creative and natural changes. Nothing really feels forced.

    Another strength are the characters. The interpretation of McGonagal, Flitwick, Moody, Sirius, Remus and also Dumbledore(which is more or less in the background) fit my taste.

    The pairing part doesn't seem to be forever and fortunately also plays no big role.

    The author borrows a few things from other stories like names, characterization or a few gimmick "ideas". For instance Sirius and Remus feel quite close to the "Black Comedy" characters in some scenes. The humor is lower key though.

    I had a good time reading. 4/5 for now. You should give it time to develop during the summer into PoA to form an impression.
     
  14. Dark Minion

    Dark Minion Bright Henchman DLP Supporter Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2006
    Messages:
    2,231
    It's already in the trash bin.

    Moved and merged.