Well... when you put it like that, it does make a lot of sense. :?

 

This makes you sound ridiculous. I made no mention of what you 'really' meant. I stated that you can't stand the fact that Harry isn't the wonder boy of fanfiction that you know and love.

:facepalm


Back on topic. I thought I had a firm grasp of the tastes of this forum, but I suppose I was mistaken. Hopefully, the author will oust Hermione while pulling Harry into the spotlight. Maybe this story will then become barely readable.

 

No, you certainly don't. I saw in the last two months lots of fics like these here in the review section. Dark Hermione, in a hostile enviroment, she is super! And not one of those didn't get in. Did you read Potter law? It's not 100% serious, but c'mon. Also, you didn't explicit say "reallly" but the intention was there.

Finallly, don't pout and act like a spoiled teenager. Don't take it personally, but don't presume to really know what is good fic. Son, this site is making at least 50-60% of all good fics in the HP and Dresden area. To me, is 100%.

 

Why do people try to write these kind of stories with eleven year olds?

I like Hermione. I even like the idea of a story where Hermione sets out to change a wizarding world that blatantly favors the purebloods. But there is no way in hell that a eleven year old would have the drive or motivation to pull something like that off. These type of stories should be set well after Hogwarts when the characters have had to endure years of oppression where they could let their anger simmer. Then when she is about twenty or so and in possession of the necessary hate to drive her on she could go about showing all purebloods what's what.

 

I feel that this can still work in the Hogwarts setting, but I would bump up everyone's ages, make Hogwarts start at 18 like a university instead of basic schooling. It would let Hermione linger in the Mudhouse for a lot longer, leading for more pent up anger and resentment, and make all the characterizations (which I feel are relatively (not quite the right word, I mean in relation to the other characters, help here) consistent) more in line with their ages.

 

Based on the summary, i thought it'd be about Salazar, but i guess i was wrong. Laaaaaaame. Good writing. False fucking advertising. I find myself disappointed. Wont rate it since i barely read any of it before clicking the x button.

 

I tried, I really did. It's an interesting setting and concept but Hermione is god-awful. Like a lot of authors this author has turned Hermione into an annoying Mary-Sue.

 

The problem is HP is barely HP without Hogwarts. It's possible to have the cast aged up a little, and it's possible to use timetravel or something (like having Hermione teach at Hogwarts), to keep the setting and the ages of everyone within the right proximity, but it's pretty rough to write all that together cohesively.

The author should just strive to write believably. Hermione can still be great without being ridiculously manipulative and powerful for an 11 year old. In-fact, it's usually more interesting when a character like Hermione has huge flaws she has to overcome to win. But a lot of authors are imptatient and put the cart before the horse, when it comes to characterization... I'm guilty of it as well sometimes.

 

I get the feeling everything is happening too early, the author seems to lack any idea of pacing, if anything Riddle would approach Hermione in her fifth year at the earliest, trusting an eleven year old with your ideas of revolution, it screams stupidity.

Harry seems to be somewhat believeable if only the story wasn't faliing into place around him, Ron and Nevile being his best friends for life, partnering up with Hermione and goons to make a nice fit of 6 people for these War games, I'd be interested if it was only teams of 4 or 5 allowed. Dean and Justin have been cast off like the background characters they are, in the later chapers only meriting a connection to Hermione for Harry to achieve his goal, so making smaller teams would only serve to prove Dean and Justin as unnecessary as they would be the ones taken off the team in that case to be relegated to cheerleaders.

The world building has mostly halted also, I've only seen two teachers mentioned, does Hogwarts now only teach two subjects? although the Order does get some padding added to it, learning what they're up to

They've got seven years of schooling, not everything needs to be accomplished in the first year. If i'm quite honest the plot should expand beyond Hogwarts, but it just feels like the author is rushing everything to be done with the idea and then to move onto the next one.

The story seemed promising when it was in the contained environment of the pre-school, but now that the scale of the environment has increased it seems the author has lost track of the various elements that have been introduced. This could all improve in a chapter or two but as of right now this is a weak point in the story.

 

Canon Hermione is enough of a Mary Sue without further prompting, but this author obviously didn't get that memo.

I just can't rate it anything above 1/5. It may not be as shit as some others, but it still disgusting.

 

I really like the concept of the story and the word-building, sadly I hate this Hermione. I mean Harry just feels completely inadequate next to her and now she is being referred (by Tom at least) as someone with the same potential as him.

It said on the story that a green eye man would lead the revolution, now I just think he will be a figurehead for Hermione and will be her puppet. So I give it a 2/5, it could be an amazing story but the Super!Hermione is deal breaker.

 

3.5/5

Every character is handled well except for Hermione, the writing is solid, and the premise just interesting enough to keep me reading long after Hermione turned into a walking encyclopedia. Sirius, in particular, was interesting, there was a very good depiction of Dean Thomas, and the truth behind Grindewald and Dumbledore's split probably has some heat in it. Also really liked what the author is doing with Harry -- if he would have made Hermione and Harry friends off the bat it would have completely killed it. In the end, If the author would have toned down Hermione's rapid growth post-Umbridge's torture (or does that somehow very soon), it would be library-worthy, but I think it's Recycling Bin material.

Rounding up to 4, just to push it over the edge. I want to find it readily accessible from the DLP forum

 

This is probably the number one reason I'll stop reading a fanfic in the middle. It absolutely the suspension of disbelief.

My theory is that 99% authors don't have any idea of where they're going with their story and even less have an idea of how to get there. It's just a giant rule of cool wank fest. They have this idea that they're going to write an epic 7 year au and start with 11 year old protagonist. Unfortunately they have no idea how to move the story forward in time nor write an adult sized story that a kid would be a part of (admittedly that's fairly hard to do), so they get impatient and start throwing in all of the ideas they had for future plot lines.

This is one of the things that I love about on the way to greatness. Its format gives increasingly more screen time to the protagonist as he gets more interesting.

 

3.5/5. Unlike some of the other reviewers, I really don't mind that Hogwarts is drastically changed from J.K.'s image. However, the world building seems only partially completed at best. This is the first fic that I've really enjoyed that has a super-hermione, but she is a tad unbelievable. If the author pared her characterization back a bit, I think the exposition would be greatly improved.

Nonetheless, I would still enjoy reading the story and was disappointed that there were only eight chapters written.

 

Reign of the Serpent by AlphaEph19

Title: Reign of the serpent
Author: AlphaEph19
Rating: T
Genre: Fantasy/Adventure
Chapters: 10
Words: 77,080
Updated: January 31, 2015
Published: October 21, 2013
Status: Work in Progress
Library Category: AU
Pairings: None so far
Summary: AU. Salazar Slytherin once left Hogwarts in disgrace, vowing to return. He kept his word. A thousand years later he rules Wizarding Britain according to the principles of blood purity, with no end to his reign in sight. The spirit of rebellion kindles slowly, until the green-eyed scion of a broken House and a Muggleborn genius with an axe to grind unite to set the world ablaze.
Link: Reign of the Serpent

I have been meaning to read this for a while now, but the focus on Hermione (she is one of the two protagonists) put me off. But my love for vast AUs eventually won out and I gave it a read. It is really good, right up on the level of Harry Potter and the Greater Good and a notch below Prince of the Dark Kingdom. Salazar's Wizarding society is fascinating - the circumstances are changed but the characterizations are consistent, and this always makes for a fascinating read. I really like Harry's characterization, and Tom Riddle seems appropriately mysterious. Malfoy has received an intelligence boost and actually seems to be a competent antagonist. We haven't seen Salazar or Dumbledore yet, but I have high hopes for them as well.

The obvious point of contention for this story would be Hermione's characterization. Hermione is very OOC here, and is pretty much Hermione in-name-only. We have all got used to Harry in-name-only by this point, but Hermione's characterization here can be really jarring. She is much more mature than her canon self and reads more like an adult than an eleven year old. Its a shame too, a complete deconstruction of her authority worshipping worldview from canon would have been a much more compelling read IMO, but the author thrust maturity and cunning upon her seemingly overnight rather than let her grow into it. She isn't a Mary Sue (the last couple of chapters set clear limitations to her intelligence), but it seemed like it at one point. Her character becomes better as the story progresses and you get more used to her.

Overall I would rate it 4/5. If you enjoy AU stories, definitely don't miss this one.

 

There were a few minor red flags, and the fact that Harry hasn't yet been the primary character was a bummer, but ignoring that overall it was pretty good.

I liked Hermionie's characterization despite it's problems. I think reading about an actual eleven year old Hermionie might have been far more annoying than reading about an unrealistically mature Hermionie.

EDIT: I think I too would give it a 4/5.

 

Quoting myself from the last RoTS thread.

Nothing has changed. Hermione is still unrealistically amazing, Harry is still a background character. Hermione still seems like a 35 year old socialite.

3/5, At least the writing is decent.

 

This reminds me of that story in the ASOIAF thread where Hermione was hailed as a goddess and harry her little bitch.

 

A Secret of Spells? Yes, I remember quite a lot of people here disagreed with how the author kept buffing Hermione's prowess and power while continually undermining Harry and relegating him to a sock-puppet status.

Good to know I'm not the only who considers this fic something alike that one, because here Hermione just happens to stumble into the good graces of all the right people, finds all the right knowledge and develops just the right way she needs. I'm not all that perturbed by her acting older than her age, but more so that she alone is like that, and everyone else is as they were, more or less.

 

That story made me rage for a while I even quit fanfiction for a while because of it