Title: Remember Two Things
Author: FrostyTheDopeMan
Rating: T
Genre: Adventure/Romance
Status: In-Progress
Library Category:
Pairings: Harry P./Astoria G.
Summary: Reeling from his ordeal in the graveyard, Harry Potter is left anxious and isolated with the Dursleys. A mysterious letter and some uninvited guests cause him to rethink his plans to stay at Privet Drive for the summer. Join Harry as he takes on corrupt governments, finds love, inspires his friends, and learns magic at the side of his greatest mentor, Albus Dumbledore. 5th year.
Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14357588/1/Remember-Two-Things

Alternative telling of OotP with a stronger Harry, a more proactive mentor Dumbledore, and a relationship with Astoria Greengrass.

Canon tone, good quality writing. The point of divergence of Astoria writing to Harry out of the blue is somewhat contrived, but everything that follows works well. No bashing, no caricatures, villains aren't dumb.

Harry's magical growth is satisfying and feels natural.

The romantic aspect of the relationship with Astoria is slow burn but cute and the chemistry works.

The story is close enough to canon OotP to deliver satisfying variations of familiar events, but different enough that you don't get bored.

Author says the fic is complete, will be posted 2 chapters a week up to a total length of 370k words. The update rate so far bears this out.

Best fic I have read in years. Not a guilty pleasure - genuinely good.

5/5

 

Is it on ao3 at all?

 

Yes

 

I agree with the random letter to Harry, at the beginning, is a little awkward in terms of a start. It seems as if the author just wanted to hook them up and this was the most expedient way to go about a romantic relationship. I've definitely seen and personally written worse though. After it gets past the second chapter, everything seems to even out and the plot can move forward without said awkwardness.

Everything else is spot on. It's an enjoyable enough story. 4/5 due to far too many copy/paste text from book to this story. I think the author is talented enough to come up with their own spin in dialog, etc., but for some reason doesn't.

 

It seems like the author only has prior experience adapting someone else's fanfiction work into something less cringy (I read it, and if they succeeded my god I don't wanna know what the hell was up with the previous iteration, because it's still cringe). Likely they don't have much experience creating original work yet.

 

I like that the fic framed dark magic as a negative feedback loop, not as something truly inherently corrupting or addicting or whatever. You need negative emotions to use the magic, and it's ever so effective, so you use it more and since it doesn't work as well if you're not angry, you're angrier more.

It seems to be a fic where dark magic can be a hammer and if thats all you've got, everything is a nail.

Much like how I think the dark side of the force works.

Force choking this guy helps to save others. Yay it worked! Choking that guy helps that guy live. Worked! Choking that other guy helps me live. Worked! Choking them helps me and saves that other guy. Worked!

All of them can choke if it helps me and saves someone. All of them can choke if it helps me

All of them can choke.

Wait, who was I saving?

 

Definitely the best story of 2024. 5/5

 

I wasn't a fan of the writing style so I dropped it early, after about two chapters. I'm sure that it might get a lot better, but I wasn't hooked. Compared to similar AUs in the library, I think this would rank pretty low. I'd give it a 3/5 maybe.

 

Chapter 24 was an excellent update and surely going to upset the cart.

Spoiler

I’ve seen Umbridge murdered in a lot of fics but all of them were edgelord IndyHarry. This is the first time I have seen Umbridge murdered with a Harry whose personality is still largely his canon self. It carries so much more weight. There are definitely going to be consequences - at the least, Dumbledore is surely going to find out.

 

Spoiler

I wonder why Harry isn't bothered at all that Daphne just used all three unforgivable curses. Is his seemingly blasé attitude around this part of the corruption caused by casting Dark Magic?

I still don't quite get the point of divergence for this Harry in terms of his morality. Cold, hard murder isn't something I thought he would be relatively ok with

 

Another update. Good action and a fun measure of how far Harry has come.

However, I do feel some disappointment that the author resorted to the fanon trope of the random Death Eater attack on Diagon Alley. It has never made sense to just randomly attack the alley for no strategic purpose and makes even less sense here where Voldemort is still trying to keep a low profile. Hopefully there will be some explanation to follow that these Death Eaters got drunk and went rogue or something to that effect.

Greengrass party coming up. It would be a great scene if Harry were to gate crash the party. But it would be difficult to justify if he did. Let’s see what happens.

 

I dropped it initially during the trial as the Harry, Daphne, Astoria dynamic wasn't engaging and retread was annoying. Once it gets to Grimmauld is when the story really finds its stride. The butterfly effects keep stacking and compile into an interesting story. Characters handle the situations thrown at them more competently, but not in a way that saps all tension from the story.

By far the greatest part of the story is the Dumbledore Harry interactions. Harry is believably built up to the prodigious magical talent he was portrayed as in the first four books as opposed to the everyman JKR turned him into.

Harry and Astoria's relationship does take a while to get going, and while I wouldn't say it's a major draw, it's cute enough to be engaging. It makes Harry more fun to follow as well; making him less dour than most 5th year Harrys tend to be.

My biggest criticism are that the alternative character perspectives are unnecessary. When we get back to focus on Harry, the information is repeated anyway, making them redundant. Hermione and Ron's perspective have them agreeing they'll have Harry's back, then we have them say that to Harry when they next show up. The story is actively improved by you skipping them.

The story gets better and better as it goes on. It's good bordering on great at times. It waffles from a strong 3 to a light 4 all through out - overall though - 4/5.

 

The next chapter is, for me, what could make or break this fic. Lord Voldemort and Harry face to face for the first time since Little Hangleton. I'm sure Dumbledore will show up sometime, but how Lord Voldemort behaves, what he says, etc. will be important.

 

I've read 13 chapters of this so far. The field trip/magic lesson scene with Harry and Dumbledore was really enjoyable and reminded me of playing Hogwarts Legacy (a ruined castle, mention of a Hogwarts Professor from centuries ago) which I enjoyed, so that's a plus. I'm not submitting a rating yet because I'll definitely keep reading. Good find, @Skeletaure.

 

“He’s inside, having a bit of a lie down.”

 

This is pretty good but the Umbridge solution is so dumb after HPs high iq plays avoiding canon pitfalls. And now he is telling everyone exactly what happened.

 

Ramping up into the climax now. Quality has been maintained throughout but I feel this final third has been a bit predictable so far. Feels a bit like we are going through the motions.

 

I kinda liked the failed trap in the Room of Requirement.

 

And we’re done. A satisfying ending even if it was quite predictable.

 

I did expect Astoria to shank somebody with the dagger. Did not expect it to be Voldemort