1. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  2. DLP Writing Competition
    Topic - Master and Apprentice (or Mentor and Protege!)
    Click here for more info!
    Don't miss the due date Guest - it's March 13th so there's just one month left, lez go!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice

Return of the Ravenclaw by kiwithefruit - T

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by Lord Osiris, Mar 4, 2006.

  1. Lord Osiris

    Lord Osiris Auror

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2005
    Messages:
    679
    Location:
    The land down under
    Title: Return of the Ravenclaw
    Author: kiwithefruit
    Rating: T
    Genre: Independent?
    Pairing: Harry/Susan
    Status: WIP
    Summary: Post HBP, Harry learns of his linage, another connection to voldemort, and another reason to hate Dumbledore. some new powers but not super harry, Indepedent! harry, darkish but not evil harry.

    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2823121/1/

    Well i just took a gander at this and well for a lack of better forum to place it i put it here. It's a medioca fic at best but one of the better post HBP out there now, bit of stained-future but readable.
     
  2. Evil Shnitzel

    Evil Shnitzel High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2005
    Messages:
    521
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Israel
    I spotted this when it was posted at first but chose not to put it here.
    Too clished for my taste. You know excalibur and such.
    Harry also get's his powers to easy on the matter. Why he was made the charms master? Cause his mother was one!!!
    Didn't click to me at all.
     
  3. Myst

    Myst Headmaster

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2006
    Messages:
    1,187
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Glassboro, NJ
    The whole fic was filled with cliches and it felt rushed. Also many grammar and spelling errors to.


    /Myst
     
  4. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2005
    Messages:
    2,921
    I tried this, but to put it shortly... it's irredeemable crap.
     
  5. I happen to like the story to a point, but I think that Harry is throwing his power around a little too much. Besides, it was really the pairing that brought it to my attention.
     
  6. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2007
    Messages:
    3,947
    This one needs to go.
     
  7. kmfrank

    kmfrank Denarii Host DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2008
    Messages:
    760
    Location:
    Ann Arbor, MI
    Wow, this made it into the library at some point?

    2/5, in my opinion, and that's only because 1/5 ees fuur ppeole hu kaant speel.
     
  8. Scrittore

    Scrittore Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2009
    Messages:
    362
    I agreed with the last two above me, this needs to go. A 2/5 only because I've seen worse but it definitely needs to go from the Library.
     
  9. Korisovra

    Korisovra Headmaster

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2008
    Messages:
    1,163
    Location:
    At your mothers house
    I can't believe this is here. 2/5
     
  10. Perspicacity

    Perspicacity Destroyer of Worlds ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2007
    Messages:
    985
    Location:
    Where idiots are not legally permitted to vote
    High Score:
    3,994
    From her A/N at the start:
    Lulzy awkwardphrasing. Best part of the story by far.

    The author is only semi-literate, which makes it impossible for her to write smart!Harry covincingly.

    And then chapter two opens, with a rat-tat-tat of cliches, shot machine-gun style at the reader's head. I bled. From the eyes, even, and I wondered if "physical object", scare-quoted as it was by the author at every opportunity, meant it stood for a mahoosive Clockwork Orange-esque dildo. Sadly, I couldn't read far enough to find out.

    Incomplete with no updates since 06, so it's abandoned. Abandoned fics have a much higher bar to get in.

    1/5, because I'm feeling particularly generous today.
     
Loading...