1. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  2. DLP Writing Competition
    Topic is EITHER Hogwarts Ghosts OR Duelling!
    Click here for more Guest!
    Due Date is June 20th!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice
Dismiss Notice
Hey everyone!

Please join us in welcoming @Irene to the staff team as a moderator for the Politics forum. Please consider her the first contact for any issues that arise in that section for the foreseeable future. Show her verdicts the same deference you show the current members of staff.

Please greet your new overlord here.

Thanks. -Jon

WIP Sanitize by Sage Trasher - T - Naruto

Discussion in 'Naruto' started by Nemrut, Sep 4, 2018.

  1. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage ~ Prestige ~

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2009
    Messages:
    1,511
    Location:
    Department of Post-Mortem Communications
    High Score:
    2,101
    Title: Sanitize
    Author: Sage Trasjer
    Rating: T
    Wordcount: 60k
    Fandom: Naruto
    Summary: Basic medicine and sanitation are simple. During the Warring Clans era, they become revolutionary. [OC-Insert]
    Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12431866/1/Sanitize

    Found this story when it was mentioned here in the quality naruto fics thread and since it got a new update in the last few days, found it was a good time to shine some light on it.

    It's kinda an SI reincarnation type story only that the protagonist isn't actually someone who knows Naruto. She has no clue on the plot points or eventual significance of several characters she runs into and that's kinda refreshing, meaning that there is no navigating the plot which can be a real hit or miss. She's just someone who is trying to live her life as a random civilian in a nameless bumfuck village somewhere in fire country during the Warring Clans era, before the Hidden Villages.

    As to why it is still a reincarnation story, it's because the protag was either a doctor or a medical student in her past life so she brings with her medical knowledge of a more advanced era, albeit one without ninja magic. What this is not though is a SI wankfest where the protag shits out stuff like gunpowder, canals, printing press and whatnot. It's not necessarily an uplifting story but a more personal one. She is a healer, she wants to heal people and to do that better she needs better stuff. So she does introduce new concepts but which have of course very limited effect as she is still a random young peasant girl in a nameless bumfuck village so no one really cares what she has to say about medicine, not initially.

    So, thematically, the story is a lot about kindness, sharing information and how to strive for peace. It's not the deepest story or whatever, same with the characters but it is a rather engaging one. I enjoyed her conversations with various ninja and the light the story shines on the warring clans era. The latest chapter saw the inclusion of nobility. Madara and Hashirama are both handled rather well, especially regarding their canon vision and all. I really like how the protags "information should be shared so that it can help as many people as possible" clashes with the "hoard all information" view of the ninjas.

    The way the story progresses and new characters and locations are introduced is rather organic, imo, never really felt forced.

    So yeah, not for everyone and if you have an irrational hatred for SI's, this story is unlikely to change your perception of them but for everyone else who are up for a more grounded Naruto experience with a focus on medicine, give this a shot. Worth checking out.

    4/5

    Edited to add link - Narf
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 10, 2018
  2. Xepheria

    Xepheria The Benefactor

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2016
    Messages:
    297
    Location:
    London
    High Score:
    0
    I was thinking of reccing this earlier in the week, but alas, I have been ninja'd.

    Excellent story - I really enjoy the ground-level perspective on the Naruto world, the realism appeals to me in a way SIs don't often do, and the characters and plot are compelling enough that I found myself desperately wishing for more when I reached the end of what was published, which is basically my grounds for rating a fic highly. Having a decent grounding in scientific history, I really appreciate what the author has done with regards to creating a believable fusion of modern medical sensibilities and a warring states-style setting.

    5/5
     
  3. Zombie

    Zombie Black Philip Moderator DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2007
    Messages:
    6,022
    I didn't like this story at all. In comparison to other SIs while this had intent to show a different theme all together, I feel like its super limiting. I don't about medical shit. I don't care about sharing. I've never read an SI where they try to bring canals in. I think people have been damaged by Alt. History in that sense because I've read a lot of SI stories and never have seen one.

    This is written okay, but it suffers from being boring. I said the same thing about Dreaming of Sunshine. I never understood why an SI would handicap themselves so much that their interactions with the world they're in are limited to the scope of their meta knowledge or their own. It makes an interesting story for sure but when you limit yourself so much it becomes really, really boring.

    3/5.
     
  4. foreveryone

    foreveryone Third Year

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2011
    Messages:
    91
    I love this fic although I recognise it probably won't appeal to everyone.

    It has certain things going for it that make it rise above the average SI fic.

    The scale is limited, the author realises her own strengths and preferences and writes what she excels in, which is the Slice of Life / Vignette portrayal of a village and its healer that slowly becomes more prominent as her reputation grows.

    I like how while the scale is limited and not everything happening politically in the background is depicted, it is clear that the MC influences the timeline. It's not a fix it fic or a masturbatory fast forwarded sped up industrial revolution that is glossed over, instead the technological gains are made trudgingly, serving not as the focus of the fic, but as the backdrop for the web of interpersonal interactions and connections she makes as the story progresses.

    Related to that limited scale is the sharp focus and concision the writer has so far. Events may unfold at a languid pace but things don't meander, the author has plotted out the story beats well and doesn't linger when it's unnecessary.

    As of chapter 8 (of the 9 published so far), the writer declared that the end of the story is near, which is a plus however much it bums me out that the fic will be finished soon. The author has a clear plan for the story and won't artificially keep it on life support, something that many SI authors are guilty of.

    The writing itself is mostly free of technical errors. While the prose may be a bit sparse or matter of fact, it serves the fic well, capturing the rustic vibe of a small town and the voice of a literate but practically inclined narrator.

    5/5 for me, not on account of it being a revolutionary or iconic fic, but because it fulfils what it set out do very well, and what it sets out to do appeals to me very much.
     
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2018
  5. foreveryone

    foreveryone Third Year

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2011
    Messages:
    91
    @Nemrut Might be a good idea to update the OP with a link to the fic
    and it's Sage Thrasher
    not Trasher or Trasjer
     
  6. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage ~ Prestige ~

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2009
    Messages:
    1,511
    Location:
    Department of Post-Mortem Communications
    High Score:
    2,101
    Heh, fuck, that's annoying. Completely passed me by. I also love how I consistently misspelled it all three times. Would love to fix those but the edit button seems to have vanished for me so can't really.
     
  7. Otters

    Otters Seventh Year ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2010
    Messages:
    207
    High Score:
    2005
    I quite liked this story, but it definitely had a lot of the snowflake factor distinct to female SIs - all the exciting parts of history were muted, offscreen, or hidden in the far background, and the only involvement that the protagonist had was for all the rich powerful sexy men to congregate around her with very little reason. This is basically the peak of where the flaws with SIs come from. There's a dichotomy between male power fantasy and female sex fantasy. DLP is riddled with cliche examples of the former, and this is an example of the latter.

    If it had gone deeper into the mechanics of hobo archaic medicine, which is where it seemed like it might have been heading, I'd have been really interested in this. The author dropped that premise fairly rapidly to softball in romance instead, and all the novel elements got sidelined as the SI's backstory and nothing more.

    My post in the megathread:

    I also got a strong feeling of Honzuki No Gekokujou, which is probably the only good "printing press" SI ever made (no printing presses involved: the MC is a nerd reincarnated in another world trying to learn how to make books she she has something to read).

    Overall this is a fairly good example of a fairly trashy genre. Unlikely to be for everyone's tastes around here, but would get devoured by the degenerates over at Ao3.

    4/5
     
  8. Tasoli

    Tasoli Minister of Magic

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2008
    Messages:
    1,229
    Location:
    Behind the keyboard
    And here we see Wallflower!SI being fawned over by edgy and hot guys who also hate eachother but will be bound in holy t(h)reesome trinity by SI.

    .
    ..
    ...

    All in all this might be technically well written story but it is nothing to get excited over.
     
  9. Otters

    Otters Seventh Year ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2010
    Messages:
    207
    High Score:
    2005
    [​IMG]
     
  10. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage ~ Prestige ~

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2009
    Messages:
    1,511
    Location:
    Department of Post-Mortem Communications
    High Score:
    2,101
    Think you guys vastly project the whole romance thing onto there. I seriously doubt this is going to end with the SI romancing anyone, let alone two people. (I can be wrong, of course, but didn't have that feeling).

    The way I am seeing things, it's less "this girl is my one true love" and more "huh, surprised to see someone share my ideal/dream" and going from there. To talk about a vision that almost no one else can see. Canonically, both Madara and Hashirama are like that, that they both wanted some semblance of peace so sure, lucky that she met them both in a way that facilitated a discussion like that in the first place but the way that came to be was rather organic all things considered and things like that do happen in fiction.

    Again, it's not the deepest stuff ever but not really the type of story you are implying here. She isn't fighting in combat or anything but neither is she a passive wallflower. Rather, she is doing the best she can do in the circumstances she is in. Found a non combat focused Naruto fic like that refreshing tbh.
     
  11. Otters

    Otters Seventh Year ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2010
    Messages:
    207
    High Score:
    2005
    Yeah, I agree for the most part. It did feel rather forced, but maybe it's just me extrapolating the pattern from other fics like this one and being unfair.
     
  12. Sage Thrasher

    Sage Thrasher Muggle

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2018
    Messages:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi! I'm the author of the fanfic. There are some interesting points and criticisms that were brought up, and I'm glad many of you found some enjoyment in the story. Even if you didn't, I appreciate you giving it a chance.

    First, romance. There is going to be none.

    Second, a great point was brought up as to the role of medicine in the fic by CareOtters. Part of it, honestly, is author error (by me, hah). There are plenty of times where I think of something and go, "Man, I wish I'd included that!" For example, tippy taps. What a perfect, low-tech solution that would work with the setting, right? Too bad I forgot about it completely. When writing a serialized story, though, that's part of the risk. I don't want to go back and rewrite posted chapters, so I have to shrug at lost opportunities. And since Sanitize almost done, the MC introducing completely new technological advancements at this point would come off as cheap.

    Also, to some degree, it's intentional. At a certain point, the amount of practical modern medical knowledge that's useful in that era runs out. So much of modern infrastructure is built on past advancements and technology that aren't common knowledge. (She is trying to preserve the knowledge so that it can be used when possible, though, hence the book.) I wanted to make it somewhat realistic, and the MC remembering and carrying out everything by herself isn't.

    CareOtters, I appreciate you bringing up that constructive piece of criticism. That's the only way writers can grow.

    There are a few perfectly valid comments based around personal preference, and that's fine! It might not be to your taste. I am fully aware that I can't please everyone, nor do I want to. A story that tries to do that ends up making no one happy, most of all the writer. Thanks again to all of you who read it and enjoyed it; your comments are lovely and very motivating. And thank you to those who read it and didn't like it; your comments are motivating too, just in a completely different way.
     
    Last edited: Sep 10, 2018
  13. Imperial

    Imperial Second Year

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2018
    Messages:
    64
    Gender:
    Male
    I can dig it.

    The concerns surrounding this story are fair, but Sage Thrasher has consistently dodged those pitfalls. The OC does think about how great it would be to have things like penicillin, but this is pining more than anything else. Hash and Mads do have a way of rolling up on her while she minds her own business, but it makes perfect sense that career soldiers with wounded men would come to a famous healer in the middle of ninja country. The boys do have a respect for her (however begrudging in Madara's case), but nothing she does has them swooning over her.

    I hate SI-OC stories as a general rule of thumb, but this consistently surprises me. Our lead is likable and capable without turning the world upside down or trivializing everything the canon characters are going through. The dialogue is powerful and snappy (Madara's monologue about ninjas being more than bloodthirsty barbarians is a treat). The setting is a time and place in Naruto's history I've always wanted to see more of.

    It takes what should be a flaming disaster and makes something pretty fun to read.

    Right now, I am happy to give it a 4/5, but I could easily see myself bumping it up to a full 5 if it continues to impress.
     
  14. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2006
    Messages:
    1,138
    Sanitize has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 10
    Words: 67,591
    Updated: 2019-05-02 03:30:24 UTC
    Published: 2017-04-03 05:12:25 UTC
    Previously updated: 8 months ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  15. Nazgoose

    Nazgoose The Honky-tonk ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter DLP Gold Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2011
    Messages:
    48
    Location:
    Mordor
    High Score:
    2020
    Ayyyyy, very happy to see this update. I think I might have to do a reread though because I don't remember
    the brother dying
    at all.
     
  16. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2006
    Messages:
    1,138
    Sanitize has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 11
    Words: 75,753
    Updated: 2019-09-05 03:55:12 UTC
    Published: 2017-04-03 05:12:25 UTC
    Previously updated: 4 months ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  17. Garden

    Garden Supreme Mugwump

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2010
    Messages:
    1,623
    Location:
    Florida
    Nice fluffy update. Hope we see more ninja clan politics stuff
     
  18. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2006
    Messages:
    1,138
    Sanitize has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 12
    Words: 81,264
    Updated: 2020-02-21 22:00:22 UTC
    Published: 2017-04-03 05:12:25 UTC
    Previously updated: 6 months ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.