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Abandoned School Spirit by StoryEnvy - M

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by DarthBill, Feb 20, 2011.

  1. Styx0444

    Styx0444 Minister of Magic

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    It was stated that the Potter family was essentially a bunch of mutts. But he never said that it wasn't a pureblood family, just that family members wouldn't always be considered purebloods in the eyes of strict bloodpurists.

    Out of the cliches, the only one I really was annoyed by was the 'autobot' trunk. Overall, it wasn't as bad as it could have been, and the trunk has barely been used so far.

    That stuff aside, it's well written and fairly amusing. the concept in interesting enough to keep my attention. It has a 'Dresden' feel to it, the author has the style down pretty well, though it's not perfect. Until I see more, I'm holding off my rating. At this point, it could go either way.
     
  2. wolf550e

    wolf550e High Inquisitor DLP Supporter

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    I'm still waiting to see where the author goes with this. 3/5
     
  3. Tenages

    Tenages Order Member DLP Supporter

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    I'm not sure why this is hard to grasp. The author says the Potter's frequently married non purebloods. "It was rare that the Potter's married anyone that fit the pureblood moniker." Ergo, the Potter family cannot be purebloods. Also "the Potter's were happy mutts and mongrels." In terms of lineage, the term mutt refers to someone whose blood is mixed, i.e. not pure. If someone has a very multi-ethnic heritage they are a mutt. Here it clearly refers to the wizard concept of blood purity. The Potter family in this story were not purebloods any longer, and from the sound of things, hadn't been in a long time. It's not a huge deal but it's not a debatable fact either.
     
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2011
  4. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I'm pretty sure pureblood is defined by having four wizarding grandparents, which was certainly possible for James. They may not have been a pureblood line continuously, but by that argument it's true for everybody and simply a matter of how many generations they've gone through. Still, it's kinda irrelevant.
     
  5. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Latest chapter wasn't great. 2 major problems:

    1. Magical exhaustion. Nerdrage.

    2. A lot of familiar ground being covered. As said before, canon rehash ahoy!
     
  6. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    To be fair, while magical exhaustion isn't exactly canon, it's a valid point of contention as to whether it makes sense in the system of magic.
     
  7. Hero of Stupidity

    Hero of Stupidity Villain of Sensibility ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Magic has no system. Magic is Magic, it has no logic, you can't explain it thats why it's magic.
     
  8. Styx0444

    Styx0444 Minister of Magic

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    Which makes for a fantastic story :awesome
     
  9. EthyleneGlycol

    EthyleneGlycol Second Year

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    I don't really have a problem with magical exhaustion. You can become physically exhausted from using your muscles too much, mentally exhausted from writing too many papers, and emotionally exhausted from dealing with too much shit from your bitch of a girlfriend. Why can't you become magically exhausted from using too much magic?

    As for the story itself, it's enjoyable, but a lot of the things wrong with it have been mentioned already. Magical shopping trip (honestly, what is it about fanfiction writers and trunks?), Hermione's iffy characterization, a brand new Neville, and of course the Sorting. Despite all of this I'm still enjoying the story, so I'll give it a 3.5/5, and time will tell whether that's rounded up or down.
     
  10. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Ignoring the fact that it's not canon (irrelevant to fanfic), I dislike it for the reason that it reduces a wizard to nothing more than auggle with a battery pack. A wizard shouldn't stop being a wizard because he's used some magic.

    Another reason I dislike it is because almost all authors set the position of exhaution so low. Often it's not more than a few minutes of intense use before a wizard feels the strain. That's just pathetic.

    I don't really think your comparisons apt. While we can become mentally exhausted, it's not like we have some quantifiable number of thinking units which we use up and then run out of. That's the way magical exhaution is done. It's not that magic gets harder, or drops in quality, like a person who is mentally exhausted (though this is really just a form of physical exhaution with mental effects, not a result of thinking too much). A person just runs out of magic.

    Finally, I just consider it a clumsy plot device to bluntly introduce conflict in to a situation, when a good author would create genuine conflict - conflict which results from the clash of characters with each other, themselves, or nature. That's where good conflict comes from. Not the arbitrary assignment of pre-determined values.

    (Apologies in advance for any typos, am on iPod.)
     
  11. Alindrome

    Alindrome A bigger, darker mark DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    This is a jumble of clichéd tripe -- but, dammit, it was enjoyable clichéd tripe. I have a feeling it will soon fall to monotony and the pitfalls of many of the worst fics, but I have a burning hope for this one. The premise, the idea of dreaming the life of Dresden, was a fantastic way to excuse the 'Dresden goes to Hogwarts' premise, and it originally looked like it would be pulled off with aplomb.

    My first warning bells were fired when we had a chapter or so of Ridiculously Detailed Shopping Trip, including Magical Creature, and before that, Harry Knows All Syndrome. So, yes, I admit it, this story is entirely junky thus far. There's still a chance the writer can pull their act together and turn it round - though that chance looks slimmer as the story progresses. We've come to the point where it's plainly obvious that Harry's already solved all his problems due to the writer's tendency to Gary-Stu.

    But, like junk food, it tastes good. I actually enjoyed reading it; maybe it was because I've managed to avoid reading all the clichéd stories for so long that it feels fresher to me - or perhaps it's the slightly newer take on it all, and of Dresden crossovers, that appeals to me - but I haven't quite grown tired of it yet.

    This could easily be pulled around. If it doesn't, it gets a 3/5. If it drags on like this, as I suspect it will, it will drop to a 2/5. But, fuck it, for sheer enjoyability - right now - I give it a 4/5.

    I seriously hope this story turns a new leaf. But I think my hope might be misplaced.
     
  12. Blazzano

    Blazzano Unspeakable

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    I like the way the author has gotten the Dresden style of narration down, and don't like the overabundance of standard cliches. At this point, I've actually taken a step back and started looking at it from some bizarre angle: this is fanfiction as written by Harry Dresden in his free time, complete with self-insert. Hey, it's Harry's first effort, and he can't read DLP to know that his fic is cliched, so cut him some slack. :awesome Weird way of looking at it, but it helps me.

    Still, 3/5 overall.

    I don't like the idea of magical fatigue, but I'd like authors to explore the idea of simple mental fatigue more. People do get mentally fatigued, and I would expect it near the end of a long adrenaline dump from fighting. The absolute minimum effect of this would be increasingly poor decision making, and that by itself is enough for a wizard to lose a duel.
     
  13. arkeus

    arkeus Seventh Year

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    I think that's the point. For children, *intensiv magic work* is tiring. It's like how you can walk for hours, but if you aren't in shape you can't run for minutes.
    if it's done like that, it's nerdrage indeed. Can't remember if it was the case there, but i like my magical exhaustion to be about exhaustion, not about a mana pool or whatever.
     
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