anyone who keep going after no should be put to death.

 

Agreed. Thats a lot of jocks, tho. j/k. Just read first chappy of this story, and I must say, that it is a good thing that Harry is sorry for his actions.

 

Yes, yes, yes, of course, but something tells me something might be up when my readers think about real world when reading my story.

Maybe we should clear two separate issues. The Fleur jumping/trying to take Harry part and Harry reversing the tables and taking Fleur part...

For the former, I really can't do much with it. There's a specific plot related reason why I want to show that Fleur could/would have taken Harry without his permission if need be...

But I'm looking at the tears part, chuck, thanks for bringing it up.

 

Who said anything about thinking about the real world while reading your fics? Its more of an afterthought.

 

yeah...that's kind of the thing, I guess.

In any case, hooray for Xiph0. He's pointing out the iffy/squikky moments. Should have it fixed soon.

Mrriddler

 

Ok, I finally read the latest chapter and here's the review.

Non-smut part was great. Liked how you did Harry's discussion with Dumbledore, these are always my favourite scenes.

Smut part was the best you've written so far. Since I've ever read stories from only 2 other smut authors, let's just say your scenes are better than oldwolf's and worse than big d's.

As for smut vs plot, I personally prefer plot. Even though this treesome scene was great, it was too long in my oppinion. Your previous 2 chapters had gone in different direction and didn't have smut at all. In my oppinion, you should probably strive to make every chapter contain 60-80% plot and 20-40% of smut scenes (unless there's some terribly important plot twist happening during the sex).

So, I'd say very good story thus far. I'm eager to see how you do the summer break.

BTW, what happened with your other story (time-travel with demon!harry). I must say I like it even more than this one.

 

Simply can't do. I'm NEVER gonna get anything out if I have to write smut each chapter or even every other chapter. This scene will pretty much have to tide you over until 8 or 9. Though I admit, 9k was long.

OH, that one's got too much stuff. If I guess correctly you should like this as much starting chapter 7 once I delve into histories, legends and stuff like that.

 

it isa great story....

better then mine....

I applaud you... :cheers:

 

Thanks, but that might be because I didn't include incest from the getgo. :lol: I'm still interested in your Dark lord piece.

 

YAY!!! I can tell you one thing about the next chapter: It involves the Dead....

also a small preview summed up in one word: Legilmency...

 

well, that should be interesting. Looking forward to it.

 

Liked chapter 6 Mrriddler, the dueling scene with the warewolves was awesome as well not over the top and the right amount of details. The thing with Lavender Brown was excellent as well, im sensing something sinister afoot? hehe Iwas glad to see that you got it up exceedingly quickly and its to an awesome caliber.

 

I liked chapter 6 too.

Nice introduction of new characters and development of the old ones. I just hope you don't have ALL of them join the harem. What I never could accept in harem fics is sheer number of girls that become sex-slaves in 21st century - authors of these fics can never seem to get a hold of themselves and stop throwing in every girl they can think of. I don't think anyone could properly develop characters and inter-harem relationships of more than 5-6 girls...

Anyway, I hope Harry do something nasty to that Ginny look-alike. I'm eagerly waiting for more.

 

Not having to write smut helps a lot. Ch. 7 could be a while though since I almost need to write 7-9 together. Keep Lav in mind. She'll be important.

You are good at guessing things Ip.

I wouldn't be worried about too bloated a harem, if nothing else because I wouldn't be able to write smut then. But do expect lots of girls to show up. They'll be important one way or another.

Thank you both for reviewing.

Mrriddler

 

a lot of prospects...nice...

busted out some gangster ass spells....had to make harry get hurt...not to overly powerful, yet...liked that stuff man...

 

I liked this chapter alot...He killed his first being...*wipes away tears*...I want to know whats up with lavender...I like the way you wrote the entire thing out...is Andrea a squib or just a muggle who knows about magic?And how many girls are you planning on useing? but yea I liked this chapter.

 

Like in my review, I'm guessing LavLav is a veela? I like this story more than your other one, I read it when I was half-asleep and was confused as hell.

Looking forward to the next chapter.

 

Yeah, I tried to strike some balance.

lol. Lav's pretty obvious I guess but there's a lot more to it. Andrea is normal 100% muggle. I'm basically creating the backgrounds for a whole bunch of girls and the few that survive the jealousy, the rivalry and the fighting will end up with Harry.

Thanks for reviewing.

 

I guess I made lav a bit obvious, but there's a lot more to it. The next 3 chapters are going to focus on that part of it with Harry going to France. As for my other story, don't worry, I confused myself as well. It need to be completely re-written.

Good point. And it is because Andrea will be very, very important to the plot, partly because she is very very important to Daphne I can't develop Daphn as much now so Andrea's getting quite a bit of time. Ahm, those muggle girls actually might come a bit later, with the bar scene, fights with their muggle boyfriends and whatever my mind comes up with...

True, I didn't try to make it very hard to figure out, especially given the title of the story right?

Yeah, here's the thing, I'm juggling/going to juggle maybe 5 different subplots...so I have to decide what to concentrate on for each chapter. But the diary will come in next chapter...

Excellent. I always liked it when Harry's smarter than everyone and uses that intelligence to his advantage rather than pummeling them with overpowered curses. Though I'm not saying I wouldn't have Harry set up a trap for his various enemies and slam them with an armageddon curse.