Yeah, but they didn't do anything to it so that doesn't count. :wink:

Thanks, Syaoran. The part with Lav was a last minute addition that would just click with the plot I got. Besides I really hated the way canon Lav got together with Ron *shudder*...ugh "won won"...wtf.

Eh, maybe that's why Lavender's not gonna have an easy life in my story. I think you'll feel sorry for her in the end...

...on second thought, this is DLP so probably not. :lol:

 

I like this story alot, and am looking forward to watching the plot unravel

 

Liked the new chapter. The Lav part was nice. Interesting to see what will happen next.

 

whoop, was playing around with the chappies. I know ch. 6 (old one) is down on ff.net.

I'm working on that and the later chapters to see if there's anything I need to add/fix before I posted it again.

 

7 and 8 are not appearing I got alerts but not chapters WTF?

 

???


I loved the new chapter though. It was REALLY good.

I don't know about Sandra and this whole thing, but we'll see.

 

Yeah, I split the old 5 and 6. 6 in particularly make more sense as separate chapters.

You mean Andrea? Well, she's muggle so no matter what her role will be minimal in the long run. Glad you liked the chapter.

 

Several people have expressed impatience about the lack of more 'violence'. It's coming, definitely. I'll need a really R warning though since it's really gruesome...

The fluff right will REALLY help dramaticize the violence and post-violence scenes so that's why there's so much of it.

I would give clues, but some of you are too damn smart so I can't 8), though rest assured that Lavender, or at least the affairs she's in involved in will be important. I think you'll like it and thanks for the reviews both here and elsewhere.

 

It's been a great story so far. I'm glad that Harry's morals and ethics are still intact. If the male-veela were someone else, i believe those would have gone right out the window and somehow none of the teachers would even notice what was going on. Thus leading to a bad story. Thank you so much for making a non-slash veela story.

 

I did try to keep Harry somewhat in canon which I ended up leaving him with the majority of his moral beliefs intact. It'll be very interesting to see how it holds up to the test of events. Thank you for the review.

Welcome to DLP, btw.

 

Please have ginny slaughtered in the most grumsome way I hate that slut plus you need to add other creatures to the mix
maybe a chick werewolf and a chick vampire

 

Okay, more time to type now.

I liked the Lavender thing and the new Chapter. What I didn't like was the multi-union "every girl from every House" being there when Harry woke up. Seemed kind of forced. They also seemed to mesh together and lose their individuality as characters. I REALLY liked this story. This was the only problem. Andrea I liked. It was the Daphne thing that had me concerned (although not very.) I thought you were going to give Andrea powers too, which would have been a downer.

But the "Girl-Team" thing was it. I just couldn't see them all getting along like that and suddenly changing the moment they have Harry alone. The banter and stuff. It feels like they are all too similar. No one reluctant or concerned, they're all the same with slight superficial differences. One's slightly more forward, or inexperienced, etc.

I also have questions about Harry trusting them so quickly. It didn't ring true. He barely KNOWS them, yet he's trusting them to keep his secrets from Dumbledore (a master Legilimens) and others? And why do they trust him? Veela power? Okay, but Harry doesn't mention it. ANd is Harry's Veela power the same as Fleur's only in reverse? Because if it is, the second they are away from him, his power over them vanishes. They may think fondly of him (as Harry thinks of FLeur in GoF), but he'll have no more power over them. This feels like a quick way to get Harry's harem going.

I LOVED Parvati though. Update SOON!!

 

Andrea's 100% muggle. There's a reason why Daphne's so chummy with her.

You are right. I had originally planned to include just Susan and Blaise, but decided to add in the others to set up for the future...not just for the harem thing either. I could have set up some differences, but that would have increased the chapter length by a hell lot and right now it's not important so much as what each girl is like so much as they are in the picture. Their differences will shine through later... hopefully.

eh, I didn't think too much of it. But basically, none of these girls exactly talk to Dumbledore on a personal basis so Harry's not too concerned that they would be specifically targeted. He was just concerned they would go to the authorities immediately, which they promised they won't do. I mean, Harry practically risked his life to save the lives of two of them, the girls should be pretty willing to keep this under their hat and just trust the judgement of the hero of the wizarding world.

You are pretty much right. I walk a thin line between making the girls seem realistic and also making them open to the concept of a 'harem' and other risque things. In this case, I was leaned on the latter side. But this is really doesn't mean much. It's pointless barter between a group of people and whenever you have a group, there's always a synergetic effect where young people just go slightly wilder than they normally are whether they are experienced or not. I guess I could have made a girl be more reluctant, but too lazy... Plus, I really didn't want to clog the chapter up with too much half baked romance.

 

lol

Working on that. Need to do this slow and work one plot at a time or else it'll become one hell of a mess. I have 2 different kinds of non-human creatures (3 if you count present veela) lined up at this point. It may take a while to get to that point, though.

Interesting. You are the only one on that one I think. lol. I'll work on it. Thanks for the in-depth critique. Good food for thought.

 

ch.9 up. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2723114/8/

Gah... I couldn't include anything from the diary since that just would just be too confusing...sorry. Next chappy, I guess.

Not much for you people, quite a bit of fluff in the beginning but the scene at the end should perk some interest.

 

Another chapter! Yay!

The final scene was... interesting. I'm guessing that the pure-blooded veela want to use Harry to make other pure-blooded offsprings? I really like the whole Laveneder thing. Never seen it done before. Good stuff, good stuff.

I'm not sure I like Gabriele's character though. To me, she seems like a spoiled child that goes into hysterics and will do anything to get what she wants.

Can't wait for more

QS

 

I disagree with the Gabrielle comment. She just loves Harry and can't stand the thought of her big sister betraying him.

Great chapter btw, although I wish you had some more Harry in there.