I didn't like Gabrielle - she is supposed to be at the stage when she dreams about a prince on a white steed taking her away to a gorgeous castle, not becoming a part of some bloke's harem.

I liked the general portrayal of Veela society. I'm still not sure how they found out about Harry being a male Veela, but I'm looking forward to their confrontation. I can already see Harry bonding with that duches bitch and using her as a foot-stool or something...

 

The Gabrielle moment was cute...i think. This chapter was a good setup for later on. The duchess pisses me off. She's gonna die...right? Anyway this was a great Chapter...I can't wait for the next one.

 

Great!!! Only one thought, you might want to clean up the stuff with the Veela gathering. Its not always clear. Maybe give them names. Also, refering to the Duchess as the "haughty veela" didn't help as they all are. Same with royal / regal as they were gathered around together.

Can I caution you against one thing? Don't rename Lavender. Her name doesn't need to be changed, adn it makes one more thing for your readers to remember. Why wouldn't she use her real name? Lavender is the same in both languages, right?

BRILLIANT!!! UPdate SOON!!

 

wow, what a diverse set of responses already. That's good.

She is 8.

Definitely a possibility.

1) She's not human. That's ALL I can say without giving anything away.

2) Gabrielle seems a bit off mainly because I'm trying to portray her so that she seems different from different povs. The fact that some thought it was cute was good, cause that was my intention for the reader at this point.

harsh, ppl, harsh... No comment on her fate but it's not hard to figure it out I guess. But the Duchess is ahm... product of her circumstances I guess. I'm hoping to ameliorate her sharp edged attitude later on, so tell me if I'm succeeding.

Thought about it. But I would have lost a lot of my readers. There's already a crap load of sutble embedded stuff in this one... but any more would have been too much.

Glad you all liked it.

 

There were only 3 speakers the entire time: The Duchess, Lavender and the princess. I thought it was ok in terms of clarity but I'll look it over. I guess I was going for subliminal messaging so that readers have a rough idea of the important people when Harry comes. The other 5 veela all non-pureblood were just fillers basically.

You actually hit on something key. I wanted to specifically make a semi-philosophical point about Lav's name. Considering it's how one identifies oneself, having a name or as it were NOT having one...is ahm...quite important. But do tell me if I screw that up later and I'll see if I can get it changed then.

Thank you.

 

Excellent mrriddler i've always enjoyed your works and again this is no exception, every chapter to a phonamanal (sp?) level. Anyway other then the praise before everything else i wanted to say has prety much been said so i guess your gonna have to live with a "Enjoyed the update cant wait for more".

 

Thanks. I'll keep that in mind Dark Syaoran.

 

Actually, I'd like it more if he made her a part of his harem. xD Then kill her....... wheeeeeeee. That's just me though. >_> And Harry doesn't seem like the type to do that in this story. =(

Looking forward to the next update!

 

See I'm not the only one who thinks she should die.

 

You definitely aren't.

 

dude that chapter sucked no fuckin and sucking nothing
J/K, dude that chapter added some meat to the fic

 

lmao...I would have reacted if I didn't just go 'wha?!' and then I saw the j/k

The next few chapters will be more plot oriented...I hope. I don't dare say for certain what will happen.

 

ah, shit...my prelimary readers pointed a problem about this chapter out...too late now.

But can I ask you guys to do one thing: Tell me if that was too deep. You guys are about as deep as my readers get, so if you feel it's too much, most of my other readers would probably chuck the entire chapter... Thanks.

 

Deep as in....?

 

philosophical/political. There's also a lot of mechanics about veela blood...

 

Excellent. Exactly what I was hoping for, but I can understand the impatience as well. Ch. 11 will have at least something to spice up things if not the cliffee I had dreamed up weeks ago...

 

I'm happy...you took my idea about the succubus ...All of his girls are going to be loyal to him right? I liked the warning Thanatos gave him about not trusting anyone...Please kill the dutchess and some pureblooded veelas.I thought the chapter moved at a good pace.I can't wait for the next chapter. On a side note, why did you name the last male veela Thanatos?

 

I planned a part of it long ago, but what you said, clintched it.

Ah, but where would the fun and angst be if they are? Not saying they aren't conciously loyal but... you never know whether or not things might get out of hand after all.

It's pretty clear something's gonna happen to the veela. Glad to hear the chapter was ok.

The name will be very appropriate later on... Very good in pointing that out.