really good so far, really good. I look forward to more coming out.

 

all i can say is... whoa.

 

I'll take the case!!!

 

I am going to read the Chicago Manual of Style before I write it though, I just set up a good plot and wrote the first few paragraphs of the first chapter and writting is no where near as easy as I thought it was going to be. Good thing I have the manual of style!!!

 

This chapter really didn't do anything for me.

Firstly, Ginny is willing to cut things off, she's all nice about it. But then suddenly she turns malicious. Doesn't add up.

Ginny has the same amount of cunning as my left foot. She isn't.
She's the typical Gryffindor. Brave and rash.

Secondly, I can't understand why Harry would use Avada Kedavra in front of the entire Weasley clan. It's plain stupidity. Seriously, no ones that thick. Crabbe and Goyle sure, but Harry? I think not.

 

I think Harry had a rush of negative emotions as the LP bond was cut,

He released his anger without thinking because all the positive emotions were gone all of the sudden. And I've already learned not to even bother debate the whore with you :roll: . We will turn you! I swear it!

 

The quote "desprite times call for desprite measures" can apply here she has and always will love him, then to have him call it off could of pushed her off the edge. I do believe that she could and would do it if push came to shove, cunning or not it is plausable.

 

I'm not particularly bothered whether it is realistic or not, the fact that it happened just made my day.

We know the same about Ginny as we do about any of the other background character in the HP universe, practically nothing. It is all well and good to say that she has no cunning, but how do you know that? All we know about her is that she is stupid enough not to notice that a diary is taking control of her, but after that we see very little of her up until OotP. Even in HPB we learn very little, if anything, about the way she thinks. Personally I don't think that she is cunning, but considering we know very little about her I don't consider that to be true. No matter anyway, I can't stand the bitch and dead is the best way for her to be.

 

Of course the stupid bitch isn't cunning. First she prattle about love potions in front of Harry and then manages to get caught by a 12 years old girl. Cunning my ass, deranged Hufflepuff would have pulled it of better than that little cunt.

The only thing I didn't like was AK. He should have used something more gory, explosion hex point blank for example.

 

Yeh the quick death was a let down a nice blood boiling or even a fuckin bone breaker on her ugly cum covered face! But then that's us here at DLP hoping for the best.

 

The first chapter of an Azkaban story seems to be very rushed....there's no need to rush through it you have a few chapters to lay the ground work for a plot and make Harry going to Azkaban realistic enough. Remember in the first book Harry didn't just run off to Hogwarts within the first six chapters and in those chapters we got to know about an important plot point the Philosiphers stone and got to see more of the Wizarding World. You might even want to put the trial in there or some of the trial just to show the inner workings of the legal system.

And that character death didn't seem very realistic; Voldermort's Imperio is weaker than Gabrielle's Veela powers.....yeah right.

 

<3

As soon as you find some evidence from the book and not the badly written H/G fanfics that you guys come across ^_^

 

Where on earth did it come to be that a Veela can force someone to act a certain way and how do we know which part of the brain it effects.... :? ? Forcing someone to do something should pretty much be the same thing as Imperio correct?

Why does Gabrielle need to go to prison with him? Why can't he just be tried and found guilty which he is, by himself and she gets off? She could 'make' Harry kill Ginny and then nobody realises and she is just too scared to confess. No reason for Ginny to be feeding Harry a love potion he could actually reject Gabrielle for Gyinny and Gabrielle goes off. Or something to that effect.

For such a public figure no matter how crappy the Government is a trial would be needed. Whether or not there were a bunch of wittnesses...There's no need for it to be so rushed it oculd all be done over 4-5 chapters with another detailing Voldermort's take over of Wizarding Brittain and France....Has anyone ever taken into consideration that Brittain was an empire once? And who says magical boarders are the same as Muggle? France was also an empire, Napolean conquered most of mainland Europe at one point. France in the Wizarding world for all we know could be huge.

 

Sirius Black aint Harry Potter the "Boy Who Lived" You ever watched Gladiator? You remember Ceaser had to turn Rome against Maximus before he could do anything to him?...Good luck writting the story tho your own has some serious potential.

 

In Gladiator, he didn't turn anyone against Maximus. He just told Max's general/assistant to take him out and kill him. Max got away, got sold into slavery, won over the masses of Rome in the colesium. Ceasar fucked up and had to fight him b/c of his ego, but only after finding out Max was plotting with the senators to overthrow him.

Turning the wizarding world against a person evidentally isn't hard in the HP universe. A simple article in the Prophet is all they'd need going by past examples.

 

I'm talking about when Maximus became a Gladiator and he wanted to kill him, he couldn't because Rome loved Maximus. And at that point in time, post HBP the wizarding world loves Harry don't they?

Really one article?It seems we need to reread Ootp. A trial would be much more realistic and interesting in any case. Regardless of the how fickle the people of the wizarding world are.

 

I don't think they say in HBP that the wizarding world is back to liking Harry, but I could be mistaken I've blocked alot of that book out. I think it's said they reinstated Dumbles at the end of OOTP, but I can't remember if they ever get Harry back on track.

And I didn't say a single article, I said a simple one. Whether it's one or a few, it seems you can put next to no thought into slandering/libeling someone and make it stick in their made up world.