How do you all feel about a single POV shift in a scene?

For instance, I'm writing a scene right now where three people are in a room. The POV is, say, Sally. After a rather intense discussion, Sally stands, says goodbye, and leaves the room. The next paragraph, then, is the POV shift to a new character. So, it's the same scene, but in a sense it's not. Let me illustrate (with a pretty stupid scene, but it's also simple, so it'll work):

Like I said, a stupid scene. But I'm more interested in what you all think about that type of POV change, rather than waiting until the next chapter, or a section break.

 

I don't see anything wrong with it. I'm most used to a section/scene break to change between POV, but as it stands the transition is smooth.

 

It's an advanced writing technique. William Faulkner did it, James Joyce did it, Ken Kesey did it, but those guys were masters of a craft, and had an ironclad grip on what they were trying to do, stylistically.

It can work if you make it clear, up front, that you're telling the story as an omniscient narrator. But if you're not, if you're telling the story from a perspective, then head-jumping mid-scene usually isn't great. It can lead to a whole host of problems, from the fact that it's inherently jarring (though you've presented it in its least-jarring form, where one character exits a scene and another POV takes over, but that kind of thing is basically why section breaks exist), to the fact that mixing up POVs can make it harder to empathize and root for characters, since we're never in their heads long enough to take an interest.

My main gripe with switching heads in the same scene is that it usually robs the scene of tension without gaining anything in return. It's like Soul Bonds - too much understanding, too fast. If I know where both people are coming from, then all I've got as far as investment goes is the payoff that comes from dramatic irony - knowing more than the characters do. And whatever I learned from switching over to the other person's head could likely have been conveyed through other means - and more elegantly, too.

There's nothing terrible about what you wrote. I'd add a section break after Sally exits, but if just a throw-away gag at the end you probably get away with it.

TL;DR:

If you're writing third-omniscient, head-hop to your heart's content, but you'd better be a damn good writer. If you're writing third-limited, then you can switch POVs:

• At the end of a chapter (see: Martin, George R.R.)
• At the end of a scene (use a section break)
• During a scene (if you're really careful, and have a very good reason, and if you do it more than once in a scene, the standards for what constitutes a very good reason go up exponentially.)

 

If you can do it smoothly it's great. Most morons however fuck it up or use those horrible "XXX P.O.V" lines.

 

It can be jarring if you switch POVs if you haven't already done so. If you haven't done something similar throughout the rest of your piece, I'd suggest leaving the POV with Sally. EX:

I don't see anything wrong with it as is, however. Except that you said "cheerleader" squad, which should be "cheerleading".

 

As others have noted, it's acceptable provided you don't make things too disorienting for a reader. An example where it's not done particularly well would be Frank Herbert's otherwise excellent Dune--at times the author has us jumping heads every paragraph (even jumping on occasion within paragraphs).

That said, I prefer reading (and writing) third person limited narratives that don't employ a lot of head-jumping, or that use some other kind of pause (section or chapter break) to mark a change in POV.

 

Thanks everyone for your responses. Since I've been switching POV by chapter and by internal breaks (this is for When a Veela Cries), I don't think it'll be that much of an issue. However, I hear the warning about making it a clear shift as well that isn't confusing.

Hopefully there's enough people here that are reading it that if it does jump out at them in a bad way, I'll get the feedback here.