Thanks for the praise/criticism everyone.

There didn't seem any need to go much further and create some complicated, incredible Apparition test. It's a standard affair for much of the wizarding world after all.

While there are a number of H/F fics around, few are good. Still, Fleur's part is over for a little while. There'll be plenty of Padma and the rest in the next chapter/s.

@ Andro.

As for the action scenes, the next one is two chapters away but after four rewrites, I think I have a decent one. Harry isn't going to be too strong too quick. He is a powerful duelist for his age, however there are going to be DE's that are stronger and more experienced than him, so he doesn't have an easy time. That's the trainings' for though.

I'm going to give Assassian's Creed a read over the next few days. I'll let you know my thoughts on it.

Thanks for the advice all.

 

The new chapter was good.

I admire the way you carefully craft and cultivate the characterizations behind all of the characters. While at times it may get a bit wordy, it makes their motivations all the more visible and justified, which is nice.

One of the odd things about this story, is that despite it's 130k word count, it still feels like it's in the beginning stages.

 

I thought Fleur knowing how Harry lived in a cupboard was not fully developed. A lot of fics have Harry's girlfriend somehow knowing his life at the Dursleys and it rarely ever comes out right.

You had a lot of foreshadowing with Harry saying how happier he was than usual during their time together, which must have meant his time elsewhere would not have been pleasant. That moment is the place to capitalize on your foreshadowing.

 

Fuck Bill. Listen to your voters. Ignore silly reviewers voting for Padma.

Your Fleur is done correctly and it's enjoyable. She's not turned into this 14 year old version of her self (masturbating in the shower shows maturity!) and she isn't geared to be super!Fleur just because she's more involved in Harry's life.

That = win.
Harry/Padma = lose.

On a lighter note, I'm obviously enjoying the story, otherwise I wouldn't be ranting about Fleur. My only problem is similar to Andromalius's. I think you passed up a few good emotional opportunities for Harry.

4/5 for now, fluctuates up and down a bit at times.

 

I really liked the story myself. I can't wait to see what Harry does to Dumbledore. I always hated his character for some reason and never liked stories where he actually cares about Harry. I never thought he cared about Harry at all. He obviously didn't, in my opinion. 5/5 from me so far. I just hope the author doesn't have him date Granger. I loathe that pairing above all.

 

I'll give it a 3.5/5 for the portion up to the fifth chapter and edit the final rating later. Parts are a little unwieldy and don't really fit together all that well, and small bits are just too generalized and drawn out. Other than a few rough spots here and there, I like this story but it's not one of the ones that draw you in. (thus the fact that I can put it down for the night and go to bed lol)

 

I'm hurt. I really dont mind any of the pairing's he has got in the works but I'm gunning for Padma because there is so much room for him to work with, fanon need's a good Harry/Padma and shes hot.

With Fleur too much is set in stone, veela powers, triwizard tournament, engagement to Bill all lessen the room he has to work with the character.

There are many good Harry/Fleur and Harry/Daphne pairings. The Harry/Susan pairing has seen fics like , To fight the coming darkness, and Thank you miss Bones.

Whatever he chooses I still think it will turn out well.

 

This stories rather interesting in how it can take a plot and story line which has been used and reused over and over again and add a few twists and turns that make it unique. I applaud the author, scaryisntit for this, but as aforementioned it's the same retelling of the story over and over again. Furthermore, I despise with a passion the Harry/Harem/a million other girls pairing, but so far it doesn't seem to be too over done...yet.

 

I haven't seen too many Padma pairings. That would get my vote, although as long as it's well written, you would hear no complaints from me.

 

I vote for the Harry/Fleur because the way he's writing her isn't as blase/over-done as the majority of the H/F fics. I'm interested in exactly how the author will continue to flesh the storyline out so that it doesn't stretch credulity.

Final score for the fic is 4.2/5. The latter chapters were interesting and I'm glad I took the time to get past my initial reservations.

 

Seconded. Though I still hold out for a final Harry/Hermione.

 

He does write Fleur's character well, and he does'nt glaze over the fact that she is only 1/4 veela as most writer's do. He is also writing Hermione's character well and you know my stance on Padma, so whatever he chooses will probably work as long as it fit's into the story.

I would rather he does'nt go through with the Fleur pairing as she is just too perfect, to me she seems like a trophy girlfriend with a smart button. Padma/Hermione/susan/hannah all could provide some normalcy in Harry's life without resorting to joining the redneck Brady bunch.

EDIT; Brilliant sig doc....

 

im sorry since I saw padma on the GoF movie I can't take her, I mean she is the fat twin.Okay she is smart, and she probably has a heart of gold but lets be serious about this, if You somehow work on showing why fleur was chosen as the triwizard champion it would be already done. How is padma going to give Harry more stability an calm than Fleur who lives away from the british magical comunity(in a more tolerant country I might add) and in a house which nobody ever visits? Besides he is a teen ,Could anybody interested in women resist Fleur?

 

I actually agree with you there. The Patil twins are supposed to be the most attractive in the year (Seamus I think said that) and while Parvati was pretty attractive in the movies, Padma was not. I don't think about the actress playing Padma while writing her scenes. More the idea of her I have in my mind.

Next chapter should be out by next weekend. I'm having a bitch of a time writing Su. Since she doesn't talk back, it's hard not to make a conversation one sided. It's taking a bit of work.

 

From looking at: http://www.allmoviephoto.com/photo/2007_harry_potter_order_of_the_phoenix_002.html
It looks to me like she's grown into herself a bit more in the OOTP movie.

That said, I'm not a big fan of the appearance of many of the cast, they simply don't match my mental images at all for the most part.

 

Emma watson is halfway decent looking but in my mind Hermione isn't anything too special. This is two years after Gof and Padma has probably grown into herself. The films haven't casted the minor characters well, Susan Bones is played by the directors daughter.

 

And Cho? She's just...........I mean c'mon, it isn't that hard to find a more attractive chinese actress. Luna is just.......un-attractive and the twins aren't all that great either. Someone seriously screwed up the casting for the supposedly attractive female roles. 's why I like books more, my imagination can fill out the blanks and it's always so much prettier.

As for Su, just go for the whole "actions speak louder than words" attitude. I always pegged her as one of the more intelligent and interesting characters that could be used for a pairing. Maybe it's that thing I have for smart petite women...................

 

The movies....

In my mind, I can't really see how someone's casting in a movie can affect the mental image of a person.

If that were the case, I would feel a sense of conflict when a fiction refers to Harry as being black-haired. Ultimately, it's the author's responsibility to create a mental image of a person. With regards to this fiction, Fleur's description gives me a very clear picture of what she looks like, building upon what was established in canon, which is in direct conflict of what the GoF movie presented, whose Fleur slant, frankly, sucked.

 

And what they did to Tonks? That *BLEW*! She was a one liner. Like I said, prettier in my imagination so screw the movies.

 

While the actress they found to play Tonks was certainly attractive and nice to look at, certainly not what I had in mind from reading the books. That's okay though, since my own mental image of her will maintain.