Title: Son of Hope
Author: elerosse13
Rating: K+
Genre: Crossover
DLP Category: The Alternates
Pairing: None
Status: WIP
Summary: The war against Voldemort has ended and all Harry wants to do is rest. But sometimes we get what we need, instead of what we want. Join Harry as he undertakes an Epic journey and finally finds himself among other people-who-lived. (NOT FELLOWSHIP TIME) NOT SLASH
Link: FanFiction.Net

This is my first post so if I did anything wrong let me know so I can fix it. Also, it might be a little early to put this up for review but I felt there was enough there to get a feel for the story.

This is elerosse13 first story and so far I think it's pretty good. The writing is decent although, there are some noticeable typos. The characterization is surprisingly good and canon-like. In fact Harry might annoy some readers because he's a little too similar to canon. But it's still early so the chances are pretty good that we'll see changes in his character as things progress.

This story is post DH/fellowship, meaning this isn't going to be a rehash with (insert character) cut and pasted into the story.

What really grabbed my attention was the lead up to Harry's sudden arrival in Middle Earth. Most AU's where Harry or whoever ends up in AD/lotr/etc ... the chapter leading up to the world jump is almost always some overly angsty end of war, "Everyone I love is DEEEAAAAAAAD!!!!" garbage. Thankfully the author opened with something different.

Anyway, this probably won't be for everybody especially since it's hard to tell what direction the author will choose to take it (I suspect fluff) but it shows potential. As of now, I'd give it a 3/5.

 

Not library worthy, but it isn't terrible.

The writing is bland. Sentences are short, boring, and I found myself skipping quite a few paragraphs. The formatting is odd,as every new sentence is a new line, and internalised speech isn't separated from the narrative at all.

It starts like most other post-DH crossovers. Funerals and sadness, Ginny is being clingy and Harry no longer loves her, the goblins are being whiny pricks, Kingsley is about as blunt as a paving slab to the face, and Luna somehow holds all the answers.

Harry arrives in Middle Earth, and wanders out of some Goblin caves without his shoes, a robe, or his wand. He does, however, have a sword. He also has a rather enlightening conversation with a snake, and then a magical horse finds him.

I'll stick a subscription on it to see where it goes, but I don't hold much hope for anything.

I've read much worse, but this just doesn't seem to have much of anything going for it. 2/5, but maybe increasing if it gets better later.



As a side note, you should only really put stories up for review if you think them good enough yourself for the library - 4/5 or greater. 3/5 should be in the Almost Recommendable thread.

EDIT

The next two chapters don't improve it at all. It's readable, but that's about it.

1/5

 

I am unable to read it as result of starting a new line after every single sentence.

 

The writing is poor and stilted. The formatting is absolutely horrible. The further I read, the more I could feel my frown increase. Based on those alone, this is close to unreadable. '"Enter shitty dialogue" XXX said [enter emotion]-ly' seems to be the standard.

The plot... what Thaumologist said. Unimpressive. Harry himself is very inconsistent, and comes off stupid and petulant.

2/5, and that's stretching it.

 

I won't bother listing the problems with this story, as other posters before me have said everything I would have to say. That said, and this is to the OP, take a look at some of the Library fics (the 3.5~4 star ones) and compare them to this story. The gulf in class is very obvious, and this is because not everything makes it into the Library - DLP has high standards.

So my advice to OP, and going off your post count/join date, lurk more and familiarize yourself with these standards. As it is, this fic is 1.5/5, rounding down.

 

The worst thing about this story is the formatting. Otherwise it's not badly written from a technical standpoint and a big step up from the typical FF.net stuff. But it's far from being up to the library quality.

I agree with what the other posters have said. Not compelling, or even interesting for that matter, though there's a lot worse out there.

It doesn't deserve a 1, even by DLP's standards, though it's not "average" for DLP either. 2/5 from me.

 

It's.... mediocre. I don't know what else to say.

2/5

 

It starts with grammar errors in the authors note, and continues with rather poor writing throughout. why did you even submit this if even you thought it was 3/5? 2/5 from me.