Title: Sorcery, UNITed, Independence, Space
Author: Tangerine-Alert
Rating: T
Genre: Action/Adventure/Drama
Status: WIP (fast for now)
Pairings: None for now
Summary: Post OotP, Independent!Harry, Harry decides to pack up and go exploring around the UK. On his travels he meets an old soldier a Brigadier, things quickly get interesting as Harry discovers things he couldn’t dream of, and that names aren't the start
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2927471/1/

Fresh Independant!Harry story, written by the standard RossWrock checklist(manipulative!Dumbledore, escape, shopping trip, etc...)

However, it has some rather neat and semi-original ideas. For example, Harry's special power (tm) is something like photographic memory - he can rewind and fast-forward his memory to any given scene and analyze what happened (that's how he figured out Dumbledore's game). Also, the author is trying to make all the shops, shopowners and magical items little more original than usual.

Unfortunately, there are lots of things holding this story down; most of all, choppy writting style, making this rather hard to read and several heavy clishes (worst of which being nice Goblins and Harry having more money than Bill Gates).

All in all, readable independant!Harry story, but nothing spectacular.

 

Agreed.
Some nasty cliches (but on the plus side, no Griphook). Some choppy writing and typos (Grimwade Palace, anyone?)
The only thing I do find slightly interesting is the memory fast-forward/rewind. Its original and used to pretty decent effect although I do see it becoming more of a gimmick later on. For the authors first Harry Potter fic written (second posted), I think this shows quite a bit of promise. We've all seen it all before but its definitely readable when the Fanfiction Tap has dried up.

 

quite a good story i thought, very compelling, and i cant wait to read more. I think the very quick updates help alot aswell.

 

It wasn't a bad read. I'll prolly follow along with it, there are improvements that can happen, but that is common with first time writers.

 

Eh, by the time I skipped past all the cliché crap, there wasn't enough of the fic left to be good in my book. The 'unique' power is also a lot like the other super!Occlumens fics, but had a Sirius manifestation.

Seems like it's heading toward some bizarro-world cross between RW and the Blot's 'Make A Wish'.

 

It's an OK story. It has quite a few clichés but for a new author it's acceptable. It could become quite good but also a cheap accumulation of clichés. We'll have to wait. For now, it's OK.

 

Ha. Finally, I thought I'd never find one.

With that Harry pulled on his shoes and slowly walked out the door and down the stairs, there were no trick or squeaky stairs in Privet Drive, Harry knew after last summer’s fixing them.

I like the story, I haven't read very far into it yet though.

 

I rather like the story even if there are quite a few clichés... Hopefully the spelling will get better.

 

I just read the new chapter and I didn't really like it. Why did he tell some Muggles all about himself? It's a bit illogical.
A good thing about the story is the frequent update though.

 

its an above average fic, but not by much

edit: the latest chapter made me revise my opinion, its a bit below average.

 

didnt really like the new chapter all that much, its too much that he told the muggles never mind that they had all those books from some of the most famous wizarda and witches in history. Its still quite a good story with regular updates but im not sure about this chapter.

 

mm Kinda weird that Muggles have wizard books that would be priceless in the Wizarding World.

Author needs to think a little bit more before posting, otherwise it wouldnt be so bad.

 

I was just thinking about posting this the other day.. heh, it's funny like that.

Anyway, yeah, the last chapter was a little irritating, but it still isn't a bad read. The only really bothersome thing besides the obvious cliches was the missing commas and quotations in places (I didn't pick up on the spelling, apparently *glances at other post curiously*). A few places were choppy, but I didn't have any problems reading it...

Personally, I thought the idea that Harry was going to "wander around the countryside" to be rather interesting. The "photographic-rewind" thing didn't call out to me, but I have more appreciation for it looking back... The muggle thing was a bit... unecessary, it seemed, or at least could have been accomplished another way. *shrugs*

It's a fun read, but nothing special.

 

Is it bad....that I have read every Indy Harry just to read the "shopping scene" because that is the best part Imo because either after that point they are abandonded or get really shitty just had to get that off my chest

Me: Hi, my name is moody and I'm a asshole

Support group: Hi moody

Me: Fuck off bitches

Decent read 3 stars

 

*laughs* Sometimes the shopping scene really is the only thing enjoyable in the story. Probably because most of the people who are writing "Indy!Harry" really shouldn't be. (not that I complain)

I think this author just needs some practice, but that could just be the hope-filled ramble of a fanfic deprived mind.

 

I didn't really like the last chapter. I think there're too many muggle weapons. Some guns are OK but rocket launchers? WTF!? But other than that and the slightly illogical thing with the books, it's OK.

 

Its a ok read passes the time and with a bit more practice and bit more fort maybe it could be turned into a good story, through i think the rocket launchers were rather over the top, but i'll carry on reading untill the cliches get to much for me!

 

This whole part with whiskey manufactorers and the muggle couple was stupid and unneccesary. Harry didn't need more books and more guns, he already had that. I really don't see what the point was.

 

Rocket launchers? *blinks*

Okay, now I'm not really sure I want to read the update.

 

Oh, wow. Now the title starts making sense. Very cool idea with a magical version of Man in Black. Is this some kind of crossover, or did he figured this idea out for himself? Coz that magical spacecraft and the whole UNIT base were extremely cool.

On the downside, 5000+ words per day means even more typing errors and choppy writing, making all the cool stuff hardly readable. But give it a capable beta and some more planning, and this story could really fly.