Here are some from AthenaKitty. *cough*stupid bitch*cough*

My god my story title means lightning lord and it is about Zeus. Of course someone is going to get their asses fried by lightning. She asks the most obvious questions.
Oh and heres one from CastusAlbusCor:

Short as always.
You know what else pisses me off? When people ask me to make the story slash. When has Harry ever acted gay? Sure he acts like a pansy sometimes but when has he ever went over to the greasy git or the ferret and asked for some buttsex.

 

I swear that is verbatium. Not only did s/he misspell practically every word, s/he also wanted another update after I had mentioned that I will not be able to update any time soon because I was returning to school! Gah...

I have no clue where the TV comment even came from. Anyway, this is my verbatium response to him:

"I believe I might be breaking the cardinal rule of fanfic writing by replying to this review. Please forgive me.
While I do accept constructive criticism, however, blatant bad mouthing and grievous complaints that have no explanation I do tend to look down upon. It is similar to telling me I got a math problem wrong and not explaining to me how to do it. How would you change the emotions of the characters to make them less boring? Also, please point out what you mean by toned down, I thought into enough detail, or perhaps that is not where I need work. I'll admit in hindsight, that the Neurloader is pretty far fetched and is an idea taken from the movie The Matrix, however transformed it maybe. Yet I will not give up that the idea of a Neurloader is more feasible then a room where time stops, no offence is meant to other fanfic authors out there. And the Neurloader is a small part of the story that after the first day of school will mean practically nothing. But you did raise a good point with "there [I think you meant 'they're'] wizards [,] not muggles!" that I was trying to avoid because it is a plot setting.
However, for the sake of my readers that do enjoy this story, I will tell you this entire secret. The wizarding world is starting to adopt several muggle fashions, I.E. the Madam Malkin's wizarding wear being accepted now compared to Gladrags' earlier attempt and the nightclub. Now, why is it important, because this is a reaction to the rise of the Dark Lord lead by the same people who are helping Lee with the nightclub, the Order of the Phoenix. It is to send a subliminal message to a certain demographic, 18 to 35, who will happen to be fighting this war. It is a slight acculturation of the wizarding world into muggle society, and besides, a wizard that can disappear into the muggle world nicely can be either a great or horrible thing. Also, how could you explain to the muggles about the weird on goings? The Troubles aren't for a scapegoat, and if you don't know what the Troubles were, please research it."

 

Alright forfie. I'm stuck in the midwest, and I can't just stand by while you're quoting Larry the Cable Guy and spelling it "Get Her Done!"

That's unforgivable.

 

This better?

 

Somewhat. I don't like Larry the Cable Guy, but at least you're spelling his craptacular stuff properly. :wink:

 

when I first read this review, I laughed...then I realized it didn't help me in anyway.

 

All his materials titles etc always say "Git-R-Done!"

But whatever floats your boat.

 

Here's some vintage athenakitty:

This is after the scene where Harry kills Malfoy Snr. (My fic is set in the past by the way). I have to admit that this was the funniest review, it was insane!

 

i found the athenakitty thing intriguing me. thankfully, no stpid reviews yet for either story, but i digress.

athenakitty, i found, is a thirty-seven year old woman.

it's shocking to me that one nearly 2.5 times my age could be that dumb.

 

Ok now i do believe i have topped myself for all my previous posts on bad fics i found this little beauty in our most favorite author's 'favorite stories', if your stuck and dont understand the name is 'Stained future'. Anyway it dont get much worse then this...

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2703901/1/

p.s. Good luck

 

HOW in the HELLS did you find this!?

Notice the plural Hells.

BUT HOW!!!!

Do you go looking for Snarrys or H/G fics!?

Ok, rant done. Not that it was much of one anyway. Meh.

That was sickeningly gross and unbelievably dumb, just from the summary.

 

He likes a Harry/Snape fic? Well, now we know his profile is full of shit. This is what his profile says about it.

Now we know know his true colors.

 

I liked the fic. Dunno why but I mostly ignore the slash and continue reading.

 

That's a wonderful idea, lol. Post whoring, however, you do it is actually pretty effective in getting additional reviews. I use polls and occassionally I end up with pretty deep analysis from readers who otherwise wouldn't have responded. However you can get your readers to write to you, that's a good thing.

 

That was the first thing I saw and the last before I hurriedly closed the window.

Now it may be a good fic, well written, and interesting. I don't know and I seriously doubt I will ever know. That's one of those premises I'd dare someone to write. You don't think they're actually going to do it, and when they do write it and ask you to read, you're stuck staring at them stupidly. Dude. It was a joke. Get a hobby for god's sake.

And seriously, which hell is worse? 6500 years with Ginny? Or the rest of time with Snape?

Fics got nowhere to go when you realize, "Hey, you know what? Suicide is an option."

 

I hate to say this, but I LIKED IT!!! :shock:


Hasn't gone gay yet, so...

I don't know how to feel about this. I was planning to see it and laugh, but now....My world is falling apart. :cry:

:wink:

 

A few of the most notable ones from some of my stories...

(there were surprisingly few badly written ones for this story. Weird. well except for that one in French. I still don't know what that says.)

(no idea what this person was talking about. Perhaps my guidence counsler is still stalking me?)

(that just creeped the hell out of me)

(I remember laughing a lot at this one.)
Actually, these ones weren't that horrible. More like amusing. *shrugs* bout that story "Curse of Fate" it actually was amusing. Harry is seriously psycho. Besides, I don't think it's even mention any sort of romance yet.)

 

Chuck, Chuck, Chuck what are we to do with you? a story where Harry gets fucked by snivillus and has many children with the gold digging slut Ginny is honestly bad business. For us here at DLP they are the most hated pairings the only thing worse would be to add Malfoy in it! Maybe i should of posted the link in sick and perverse?

 

The horror. . . The HORROR!