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WIP Spire by dakeyras - T - Naruto

Discussion in 'Other Fandoms Review Board' started by Inayeth Ali, Aug 19, 2020.

  1. Inayeth Ali

    Inayeth Ali First Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Thread Title: Spire by dakeyras- T
    Title: Spire
    Author: dakeyras
    Rating: T
    Genre: Adventure/Mystery
    Pairing: None (yet)
    Status: Work in Progress (a little over 80,000 words)
    Summary: Naruto's hopeful, Sasuke's confused, Kakashi's an alcoholic, and Sakura really doesn't want to die. This wasn't what they'd expected from Ninja life, but as Konoha's enemies gather, there's no time for regrets. A strong Team Seven AU. Updates every second Tuesday.

    Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12469512/1/Spire

    This is an entirely new take on the standard "Team 7 are a bunch of hopeless misfits who grow to like each other and become formidable ninjas" fad. And by new take I mean that they're all a little different.

    Sasuke doesn't only think about killing Itachi and is mellower (he's still obsessive though), Naruto is kind of smarter (He's still very loud) and Sakura is really scared of death (which makes her competent) and Kakashi is drowning his sorrows in alcohol (and women).

    All of this is thanks to a time traveler we do not know about for a while and who is not a main character, in fact, this person barely ever meddles at all and seems to be doing almost nothing as the story progresses.

    The fic has many strong points.

    The first being character development. Team 7 doesn't instantly warm up to each other. There is a gradual, steady and natural progression as they grow closer together. On an individual level, Sasuke is somewhat differently traumatized by Itachi and that leads to a few complications that affect his life as a ninja. Naruto while being somewhat similar to canon is still not the same. He is smarter and has greater emotional depth. At times, he comes across as being envious of Sasuke but he does grudgingly respect him and acknowledges him as being superior. Sakura is... different. Very different. She's scared of dying and at times gives off an Orochimaru-ish vibe. She doesn't have the power to back her brand of crazy even if she can be considered a prodigy in her chosen field of specialization. She does seem to be vain and somewhat manipulative though. There is some friction at home but not the kind in most fics. In fact, I don't think I've seen it before.

    The writing itself is quite good. There aren't any long speeches that inexplicably hold deep meaning for the characters and help them along neatly laid out arcs. The dialogue flows well and doesn't appear to be forced. Conversations are mostly kept short but their impact is quite large.

    During the fight scenes, flashy jutsus have less of a focus than strategy and the scenes themselves are done quite well. The story doesn't follow canon closely either. Canon is still ongoing but even while you can see that, the changes are stark.

    No member of Team 7 is overpowered. There aren't any cases of them suddenly fighting against Anbu or jonin from other villages and somehow winning or getting away with their lives. The progression of their skills is well thought out and Kakashi is actually training them this time.

    Also, half the story was written in the last 3 months even if it was published 3 years ago so the story is regularly updating at the moment.

    The only downside I noticed is the (current) lack of plot. There are hints that the actual plot (besides just team 7 growing together) will be revealed in a few more chapters though.

    Personally I'd rate it as a 4/5 removing a point for the lack of plot and a few other issues that I can't quite remember right now but they had occurred to my sleep deprived self when I was reading this late at night.
     
  2. Churchey

    Churchey Supreme Mugwump

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2011
    Messages:
    1,696
    Location:
    Texas
    It's certainly interesting and well written in technical aspects. There is a sense of believability in the characters and progression. Asuma acting as a rival to Kakashi works well, and the characters are slightly altered in sensible ways that make the story more engaging and fresh. It's nothing drastic and everything seems pretty normal, but it's clear from the get-go that there is a greater plot at work from the first paragraph that hints towards some type of time-shenanigans.

    However, the latest chapter reveals
    it's actually Ino time-traveling and altering the past, and it's not her first attempt to do so
    which is a new twist on that as well
    seeing as she's not a main character or one we follow, but clearly has been making changes to the timeline.

    The biggest issue I have with it is that it's definitely a 'team' fic in that we explore all of the characters a bit too much to ever get attached to any particular character. It lacks the engagement of other fics that focus in on Naruto, which can lead to it lacking the excitement or finesse that the truly great stories have. The combat scenes are fine, but nothing special, and the divergences don't really do anything to make the characters interesting.
    Sakura is on an even playing field with Naruto/Sasuke, her ruthlessness and intelligence makes her more effective than Naruto. Even if it's done believably (she is physically miles behind them), it's still a 'nerfing' of Naruto and Sasuke's strength. Naruto definitely feels like the weakest of the team, and loses preliminaries in the Chunin exams to Neji from the PoV of Kakashi, making the entire sequence seem unimportant and matter-of-fact.

    At the moment, it's a 3 for me, but may improve if the plot gets interesting. It has my curiosity, but it does not yet have my attention.
     
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