Chapter Four: To Fight the Coming Darkness [] is up!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3114215/6/

Read and Review!

 

Why do I get the feeling there will be a Dumbledore vs Potter duel in this fic. I want it I want it I want it.

Good update. Keep up the good work

4.5/5

 

dumbledore is basically acting like voldemort. Using fear, intimidation, and basically the orders hero worship of him is cultish.

 

Harry's enemies in this fic (listed in order of greatest priority):

Pascal: He's gone quite mad after seeing his daughter die after marrying Harry against his will. Harry thinks that he's the new Dark Lord, and all the evidence points toward this.

Dumbledore: By all accounts, he's also gone quite mad after Azkaban. He thinks Harry has turned away from the light, and he's using his Order of the Phoenix for a personal crusade of light.

Sirius Potter: He's being a normal rebellious teenager. But he likes Pascal, and he may do something under Pascal's guidance that greatly weakens Harry.

Voldemort: There's been no sign of him at all, and it's very strange that he suddenly disappeared after Harry fought him. Harry's been hunting down horcruxes, but they're still some left so he's definately still alive. So either he's been biding his time, and he's been able do a lot of damage to the wizarding world in it or he was somehow weakened by Harry and is the new Dark Lord (as evidenced by the story's summary).

Minister Vallidus???: He's very mysterious, but a truly great person and politician. He seems to be allies with Harry currently, and there's no evidence that he wants anything more than a political alliance with him. But I'm paranoid, and he's already taken out a rival to lead the wizarding world (Dumbledore). I just don't know anything about him, and the way Master Slytherin writes his character is the same way a lot of other authors write about antagonists against the hero that aren't immediately apparent. Or maybe that's just paranoia.

 

I try not to disappoint but you'll have to wait a while.

True, but Dumbledore's barking mad. What's Voldemort's excuse?

A very succinct summary, Belerdorhan, but is Sirius truly an enemy - even more than Voldemort? I won't say anymore...


Chapter 5: Of Rivers and Buildings is up!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3114215/7/

Read and Review!

 

Damn good old boy, damnably good indeed. Wish it could have gone on longer, but i wish that about most chapters of good fics.

 

IT SUCKS AND YOUR FREAKING RETARTED AS AN AUTHOR!!

Just kidding I love it except it needs to have longer chapters that is my only real complaint. Keep up the good work.
1 thing. Did I just miss it being mentioned as something in this fic or something. The Goblins run Gringotts not Hermoine(ungrateful wench). Shes bitter, friendless, and probably still a virgin if I had to guess.

 

Well, I think that it'd be silly for wizards to put their trust (money-wise) into Goblins - cold, selfish beings. Personally, I think they'd at least have a few humans at the top making sure nothing dodgy's going on and Hermione is perfect in this role.

 

Oh Okay Thats good. That does sound logical.

 

Okay...Its interesting, but I just don't see it holding my attention for too long. Dunno what it is about it, but it just isn't engaging. I practically had to fight my way through the last three posted chapters.

And honestly, I wasn't impressed at all by Neville and Ron being chosen for the posts. If Neville is so widely needed, then 5000 galleons isn't enough to make him take on a full time job teaching kids how to do the most basic things. And Ron...even with practice and experience, he would never reach a level of skill in dueling/fighting. Then, Ron has always been poor...it makes no sense that a childhood friendship where he hasn't seen Harry in 20 YEARS would make him give up 20000 galleons a year.

Think about it...when Harry disappeared, they had been friends for only 5-6 years. That's it. In FOUR times that time, he wouldn't feel much of a connection to Harry any more. Think about friends that you had in kindergarten...can you remember, or ever care about, anything mroe than their names?

I guess I'm just waiting for the Harry/Dumbledore fight scene...

 

So but I had to ask.

Master Slytherin when can we expect an update?

 

Honestly, I don't know. I've been extremely busy at the moment - so much so that my only brushes with the world of fanfiction is spending a maximum of half an hour browsing through DLP.

*sigh* Summer is officially over.

 

I might just cry!!!!!!!!!1


not really but I hear you about summer being over. Try your best

 

A good chapter, though there a few points that im not huge on. Ron becoming a top dueler? Possible since we dont know much about him but he never really showed much talent. Also Ron and Neville going to work for harry that easily after 20 years, doesnt seem that realistic. The good part is i dont hate Ron like i normally do. Dumbledoor is.... interesting for lack of a better word, we'll see where that goes. I do however love your minister, seems like just the perfect minister. I look forward to the next update.

 

I know pointless post. But I was wondering if you had any clue about an Update?

 

Ron and Harry aren't just normal friends, they have been through a lot of life threatening expeiriences: Philosopher's stone, basilisk (ginny), Prisoner of Azkaban (he was there with Sirius and peter...), not much fourth year, fifth year: Department of mysteries...

The point is it's not just a normal childhood friendship. THey are brothers in everything but blood.

 

I wouldn't mind seeing an update to this fic but I honestly don't blame MS for the lengh of time between updates, how could I when I haven't updated for a long time myself.

Ron doesn't bother me in this fic. Not in the slightest. With me it all depends on the way that a writer portrays his or her characters and not what I already have in mind from canon. If an author can change my mind about a character then I add that to the rating of a story.

 

I disagree. Sure, Ron was his first friend. That's great. They had fun and scary times together, and did things that can't be discounted. But it's been twenty years.

Harry and Ron knew each other, and were best friends for 5 years...that's only a quarter of the time he spent learning by himself. Friendships fade...I had some great friends when I was a kid...doesn't mean that they still are. You're exposed to other people, and with a change so profound in the way Harry is now, they have no way to relate apart from childhood experiences.

And 'childhood' is the operative word...things that Harry did rashly when he was 15 would seem ludicrous to him now, not something that he would like to base a friendship on.

I'm not saying that they shouldn't be friends, not at all. I just think that their friendship, after twenty years of not seeing each other at all, and whatever betrayal that Ron feels, would be almost inconcievable.

If a friend who you knew in 5th grade, let's say your best friend, suddenly popped up and asked you to take a job under him that pays you next to nothing, would you do it? Sure, he's your best friend from ages ago, but considering the fact that you grew up envying him, had no money to speak of, and were constantly regarded as his sidekick...well, I'm pretty sure you'd laugh in his face rather than accept, even grudgingly.

 

Even that half an hour has turned into fifteen minutes. Between work, school, Pro 6 and friends, don't expect much.

 

.epub downloads:
Stained Future by Master-Slytherin - (Mega, Mediafire)