I’m currently on my train journey home for Christmas, and with little else to do, I have finally started collecting my thoughts on TROS. I’m doing this mainly for myself, as there were some things that just wouldn’t let me alone, but holy shit, that thing is going to clock in at 2,000 words at least. However, I‘m tired, so I won‘t finish it today. I also need some time to organise all of my jumbled word salad into some sort of coherent structure…

With Christmas interfering, I expect to be finished somewhere around Sunday.

Fun times. However, I guess it‘s encouraging that a Star Wars movie can still inspire that kind of reaction from me.

 

So I watched this today, and thought it was essentially fine. Not an amazing story but watchable spectacle with some decent performances. The final battle was better than Harry vs. Voldemort.

To my eternal nerd shame, I've never seen the original trilogy, and I've only seen episode I and III of the prequels. For most of the people in the theatre it seemed alrightish. For all the kids, it seemed to be the fucking tits. I think this will very much get the prequels treatment, in that in ten years time all the kids who saw it today will still think it's good.

It certainly looks cooler than the prequels. And yeah, if most people who see it are plebs like me, I can see why the RT user score is almost 90%.

The only other thing is that this might be the Batman Vs. Superman effect, which I also went into with the absolute lowest expectations, and it was only pretty bad.

 

Spoiler

I felt like it was unearned garbage way of dropping that bombshell. I knew he was back as I'd seen the trailer where he laughed evilly, but haven't been actively following anything since that first reveal way back. I sat down to watch and my immediate impression was of laziness. The other films have always had a large amount of exposition thrown into the scrawls to cover large gaps, but this just completely changes everything. Suddenly, we go from Kylo the Supreme Leader vs Rey and the plucky resistance, to oh hey there's a third party in the game.

I was struck by the laziness, but then realized hey maybe that means it'll be good in a different way, since they didn't earn the Palpatine reveal, maybe instead it'll be less flat black vs white and more three sides to the story. No, ten minutes in Kylo is subservient again.

The only plot point that seemed earned in this entire movie was the force connection between Kylo and Rey. TLJ had the water splashing on Kylo, and finally in this one they both deepen the connection and pass items between them. Everything else felt like force mcguffins that existed to staple together this mash of crap.

I was also astounded at how boring the movie was, despite being a non-stop action trawl the whole way through. I didn't go in with low or high expectations either, I didn't feel strongly about either TLJ or TFA, just excited to see more lightsabers. I found the fights in this one less interesting than the last two or the prequels. You'd expect with that Disney money we'd get something to rival the duel of fates. I thought maybe when Kylo and Rey start getting absorbed, Palpatine was going to reconstitute himself to something actually real, like a new actor in a younger body, the full power of a sith lord, and we'd get a three way battle with something grand.

Instead, it's just crap. Not to mention he immediately completely nullifies any meaningful contribution anyone except Rey has made to the resistance. The criticisms of the lack of visual storytelling ring especially true in the ending. Palpatine has the sith living in him...that's not apparent except through his speech. Rey defeats him through the Jedi living in her. But visually...she get's a second lightsaber out HOOO BOY WATCH OUT.

It's just a bunch of derivative crap, turned up to eleven, but not even executed well. C3POs sacrifice is a cheap gag for laughs. People actually laughed in theater as he said goodbye to his friends. Chewie's death is immediately undone, ruining any emotional payoff. Kylo gets killed, and immediately healed. I know force heal exists in the EU, but it's never been on screen and my wife thought it was a darkside power, because we rewatched the prequels recently--not from a Jedi and all that. Then Kylo's healing of Ren felt poorly done as well. Did everyone not immediately think they would just pass life energy back and forth over and over again for a moment when he fell over? Dead-Alive, Alive-Dead, Dead-Alive.

I'm very good at remembering random shit like movies, but nothing about this movie stands out in its epicness or coolness that makes my inner 12-yr-old squeal for a rewatch. When I watched Batman V Superman, I knew that while it was bad, I had to rewatch it to see Batman punch a guy into the ground to almost snap his neck. Some scenes just have that visceral level of coolness. Revenge of the Sith was bad, but goddammit if I'm not going to rewatch duel of the fates. What stands out in my mind is the absurd scenes in this one, nothing stands out to me as being worth a rewatch. That's the biggest tragedy--how do you fuck up ninja-monks with laser swords when you have disney's budget behind you?

I didn't have any redeeming moments that made this one feel worth it as a popcorn flick to me. Even somewhat funny moments like Babu Frick or flashlight vs lightsaber just underscored the cheap marvel-level snappy comebacks and one-liners that lack Marvel's gravitas or expansive story telling. Everything can't be a sorkin scene, goddammit.

 

"The dead speak!"

 

i saw this movie last Friday it was better then i expected, i have some questions still about the end though.

 

I enjoyed it, and felt it was a better film than Ep 8. The feel of SW was there, even if I would have written a few things differently.

Also, the thing that Finn was going to tell Rey was that he was Force Sensitive, right?

 

Spoiler

Did I hear Ahsoka's voice in that bit at the end when Rey was hearing Jedi voices?

 

It was her.

 

I picked Anakin's, Yoda's, and I think Kenobi's. I know Mace wasn't in there.

 

I noticed Qui Gon Jinn’s voice too.

 

According to Wikipedia the voices include:

Spoiler

Actors making reprisal vocal cameos include Andy Serkis as Snoke, James Earl Jones as Darth Vader, and the voices of Jedi Past with Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker, Olivia d'Abo as Luminara Unduli, Ashley Eckstein as Ahsoka Tano, Jennifer Hale as Aayla Secura, Samuel L. Jackson as Mace Windu, Ewan McGregor and Alec Guinness as Obi-Wan Kenobi (via digitally altered archive audio from the latter), Frank Oz as Yoda, Angelique Perrin as Adi Gallia, Freddie Prinze Jr. as Kanan Jarrus and Liam Neeson as Qui-Gon Jinn.[32]

 

Call bullshit on Mace. I didn't hear a single motherfucker.

 

Nice confirmation plus a callback to Vader speaking to Sidious in Rebels. I see you bruh.

Also, a shame that Aayla's voice actor didnt have a nerd cameo calling something a reaper.

 

Honestly, I don't have that much problem with this movie. It wasn't great or anything, but the big problems with the movie were pretty much forced errors from the pile of shit that is TLJ.

Palpatine's failure as a good villain, the extremely rushed pace, and the lack of good character arcs are all essentially problems caused by the unraveling and inconsistency of the trilogy as a whole rather than the specific choices of this movie. It's about as good as you could expect given what came before. (Except for the continued Marvelization of everything Disney does. Fuck the mouse.)

To be honest, I think Palpatine could have been a legitimately good villain for the sequel trilogy if it had been set up towards beginning instead of him being pulled out of nowhere by a desperate JJ Abrams. Not super creative, but there's a good star wars trilogy in there somewhere.

 

The Last Jedi is definitely the swan song of Star Wars movies since Empire Strikes Back. It's sad to think we've had one critical success that isn't a nostalgia pander or garbage fire out of six in a franchise with as much potential as Star Wars. The Rise of Skywalker is a return to prequels form, with a heavy dose of nostalgia and don't pay attention to this shit we're introducing at lightning speed. I still enjoyed it, obviously . I mean, I loved the prequels and pretty much the dumpster fire that is Clone Wars and Rebels.

Disney obviously believed they needed to course correct to appeal to the slovenly among the fanbase. Disappointing, but to be expected when they're dealing with forty year old children. I'm hoping that we're done with this so we can move to something that isn't weighted down by weird expectations of treating characters with bubble wrap. Or a lack of imagination.

I think my favorite criticism or backhanded compliment of TROS I see is "They did so well considering what TLJ left them." A lack of imagination to picture what a finale could be absent an Emperor stand-in isn't good criticism. There were great threads to explore: a post-Jedi view of the force; Kylo's ascendancy and a Skywalker atop the pyramid of the dark side; Hux pulling a Grima, and the force-bond between Rey and Kylo. I had no expectations heading into this and didn't want to delve into whatever weird shit that led to the broken hearts following TLJ. I've pretty much avoided doing that since being an autist over HBP and have found fandoms to be much more enjoyable.

Kylo and Rey's stuff in this was great and I wanted more of it. Babu Frik and C3PO were funny and the Emperor was hammy but delightful. Disappointed that Kylo had to die and that Rey Nobody got retconned to Rey Senate but now it's canon :

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Sidious was right about the Jedi plotting to take over the Senate, he was just a few decades early.

 

Rise of Skywalker is probably the worst movie I've seen all year.

So many coincidences that lead into macguffins that lead into more coincidences. Plot threads that go nowhere. The fuck was Finn going to tell Rey? Eh who gives a shit here's 5 million star destroyers that Palpatine bullshitted into existence. So much of the movie just felt like JJ Abrams being petty towards Rian like you said Rey's parents were nobodies well fuck you! Or how dare you throw away Luke's lightsaber you little shit!

Finn does nothing, Rose decides studying is more important than plot relevance? And yet there's more and more characters being introduced who all need 5 minute plot arcs. Things that could have had real emotional impact are all walked back literally a scene later. Rey accidentally kills Chewy OH NO how will she deal with this emotional turmoil? Oh wait no he's fine. C3PO needs to get his memory wiped what a sacrifice! Oh nah R2 had a back up it's all g. Rey kills Kylo? What a twist! Eh whatever he's fine.

The only scene that worked for me was Han and Kylo's conversation, because like hey this is a character arc they actually spent three movies developing and here's the payoff. Everything else was an apathetic dumpster-fire. Also the music was so forgettable outside of old themes.

Conclusion: JJ Abrams = Bad screenplay writer.

 

Rise of Skywalker was easily the best movie of the sequel trilogy. If TFA was a 5, and TLJ was a 2, I'd probably give this movie a 7/10.

Things I hated:

Spoiler

The premise. Palpatine being back. Rey being a Palpatine. The idea that "the largest fleet the galaxy has ever known" was successfully built in complete secrecy.

C3PO "death" scene. They went out of their way to point out that there'd be no fixing it. The human characters basically shrug their shoulders and say "oh well", where if it was one of them being memory wiped, there's no way it would have flown. This might seem realistic by today's standards, but in Star Wars we see people forming genuine emotional connections with droids. This spits all over that. The fact that it worked out all right in the end does not help.

Things I especially liked:

Spoiler

The progression of Rey and Kylo's "force bond" was really cool. It had a clear progression through the movie culminating in passing a lightsaber when it was sorely needed.

Poe's characterization as a bratty asshole stayed consistent, but he showed some nice growth as the movie went on.

The intertwined character arcs of Rey and Kylo were pretty well done, I thought. Little moments where they were clearly influenced by each other's emotional states without the movie explicitly saying so. Like Luke before her, Rey didn't have a particularly difficult time resisting temptation, but it kind of felt true to her character.

Reusing famous tracks from the original trilogy OST was maybe a tad overdone, but I quite liked it.

For the most part, I thought this movie was pretty true to the feel of the original trilogy. TFA totally failed at accomplishing the same, but this movie had just the right amount of nostalgia-bait for me.

What's missing here is a list of minor annoyances, but they weren't all that impactful for me.

TL;DR: terrible, terrible premise, but I thought it was pretty well executed.

 

That's sort of like saying, "This is the least virulent strain of herpes."

 

I'm currently making a case that RoS is the worst movie of the nine. Bear with me.

 

Yeah, it sure is. I hope my elaboration showed that I think it was honestly a pretty good movie. I can understand people disagreeing with that, but if someone tried to tell me ROS was worse than TLJ, I wouldn't really know what to say.