1. DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

    Competition topic: Magical New Year!

    Marathon goal? Crank out words!

    Check the marathon thread or competition thread for details.

    Dismiss Notice
  2. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice

WIP Stunning Shifts by mindcandy - T

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by Stan, Jan 14, 2016.

  1. Johnny Farrar

    Johnny Farrar High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2009
    Messages:
    521
    Location:
    In front of a Computer.
    Finally an interesting story was put up for review. It has become so that the only fics that I read these days are from WbA; as such this was a pleasant surprise.

    I wasn't enthused by the summary but the fairly positive comments made me take a look. And I found it be quite enjoyable.

    Few nitpicks, I don't have issues with Harry or others appearing slightly OOC; which even makes sense given that they are a year or two out Hogwarts.

    But I'd expect the characters to remain in character for the story. You cant have a protagonist betray the characteristics the author has built around him.

    As such I found, Harry's(the dimension hopping one) narrative to be jarring. Initially, the author has his friends tease him as being the second coming of Dumbledore. Somone who can plan around a goal. Then, you have the sudden extreme impulsiveness. We could have gotten the same situation while writing a more believable decision making process for Harry. Next, you have him as an excellent wizard and yet that is not maintained consistently throughout.

    Also, the author's incorrect use of the term logistics. He seems to like the word, but it does not make sense the way he uses it.

    What I did like, was Voldemort and the story around his supposed-son, the other Harry who was well written. James and Lily while being caricatures, are not stereotypical caricatures. The war is fairly intriguing and it would be interesting if the narrative goes more into the murky business going on there.

    I am not quite sure what to rate this as 3/5 sounds low and 4/5 is a bit on the higher side. As such, I will dispense with the rating for now and see how the story develops.
     
  2. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2006
    Messages:
    1,604
    Stunning Shifts has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 16
    Words: 110,369
    Updated: 2020-05-31 12:09:48 UTC
    Published: 2011-11-08 17:36:14 UTC
    Previously updated: over 4 years ago
    New Summary:
    During a publicity stunt, Harry and 5 others are sent to another world where a well timed Stupefy made all the difference. As Harry looks for his peers and a way home, another Harry investigates the odd arrival of his doppelganger. (Canon, EWE, dimension travel, AU)

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  3. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2009
    Messages:
    8,379
    Location:
    The South
    Just re-read this. I don't think I'd read more than half of it before now, because while the first half a dozen chapters felt familiar I didn't have any recollection of later parts.

    It's deserving of it's library spot I think.

    I'm giving it a solid 4/5, with potential to go up (but unlikely).

    canon!Harry is more powerful than actual canon!Harry was, but it does appear that the author intended to place canon!characters into their AU!world. They're around 19 by my estimate, if that matters to anyone, but ages aren't confirmed. They finished their 8th year at Hogwarts not too long before the story starts, however.

    The rest of it has some reasonably familiar trappings of the genre. Voldemort hasn't been defeated in the new world. Harry knows things about him that others don't. Nothing overly unique there, though the addition of more characters did keep it somewhat fresh. And this Voldemort appears to be a reasonably good non-insane version with a twist or two.

    My main issue with it is that we're at >100k words and I'm not sure if we're still in the set-up phase or if we're halfway done with the story - and that's a weird feeling. Is Harry getting interacting with AU!characters the midway point or will it be the end of the beginning arc? I'm not sure.

    If you like "Harry goes to another Universe" stories though definitely give this one a try.

    Edit: The first two chapters felt fairly pointless. They could both have been summarized with single scenes at the start of Chapter 3.
     
    Last edited: May 31, 2020