Below are the entries! We will not be scoring them, but rather giving any feedback we can, and what we think works or not. Is this summary enticing enough for you to want to read the story? Why or why not?

Also, if you want to submit an entry, feel free. You can either post it directly or pm me and I'll add it to this thread.

Entry One: The Crowned Champion
Divergence: Roger Davies is chosen as a fifth Triwizard champion.

Three Champions are chosen for Hogwarts. A quandary when Beauxbatons and Durmstrang get one each. Europe scorns perfidious Albion; Hogwarts tears itself apart in recrimination. Harry is looking down the wands of many, within and without Hogwarts. And they will have ample opportunity, because everyone is taken by other questions. Which quinella will be in the Black? And who will be crowned Champion?​

Entry Two

If Dumbledore asked you to go to war for him, would you do it?​

It’s 1981 and someone should tell them to get out while they still can. Everyone else is tapping out: safe houses, six feet under or rat-deep under cover. But not Sirius, no, Sirius has battles with alcohol to lose, battles with his mother to win, and speaking of losing, Marlene is sure there’s something other than her knickers that got lost on the way. But hey, at least the sex is still good.

Follow our hero and heroine on their last hurrah, navigating the tricky art of breaking up, shacking up and basic oil change for any vehicle. And in the end, because of course this was always going to be the end, the lesson learnt from this war was not so much about the friends they made along the way, but about the ones they had to leave behind.​

Entry Three: The Power He Had Not
Divergence: Voldemort comes back with more powers than he had at his Fall. A new glass ball appears in the Hall of Prophecies. T.M.R. to P.P. Dark Lord and Harry Potter

Harry and Voldemort have plumbed realms of magic unknown and untested ever since the latter’s first Fall in Halloween. When Lord Voldemort summons his Death Eaters for the first time in thirteen years, it is not just Harry who freezes. He has returned, greater and more terrible than ever before ... bearing powers he had not.​

Entry Four: Lullaby
Divergence: PoA

Harry Potter is thirteen years old and asleep when Sirius Black kills his way out of Azkaban. Five dead. A sixth in St. Mungo’s who wishes he was.

The Ministry calls him dangerous, but words on paper are polite for what crawled out of that cell. Twelve years rotting amidst dementors do not break a man, they hollow him out and leave something else wearing the shape of one.

In the wreckage of his mind, one thought survived, rusted and twisted like a nail left out in the rain.

The boy should be with his family.

Somewhere inside what remains of Sirius Black is Harry Potter’s godfather, and he still means to tuck the child he loves safe and warm under soft blankets.

There is an empty grave in Godric’s Hollow that makes for a fine bed.​

Entry Five
Divergence: OOTP, Chapter 21: The Eye of the Snake

To protect his friends, Harry is forced to join the Dark Lord. Taken from Britain to a far away land, he discovers the markets of the Ottoman Empire have more to offer than pomegranates and figs, Janissaries and Djinn.

At Enderûn-i Sihrî Mektebi, where students earn their rank through blood and skill, Harry finds a world where the magic is darker, the stakes are deadlier, and a girl who walks through nightmares wears chains not so different from his.

With a Sultan and his brother tearing the empire apart while Dumbledore and Voldemort play a longer game above it all, Harry stands at the centre of everything. He will do whatever it takes to earn his freedom, even if it proves what Voldemort believes — that they are the same.​

Entry Six

The sun rose, the moon fell: Harry and Voldemort died. Harry had lost count of the loops, each dawn returning him to the same dying day. Then came whispers of an artifact buried in the Forbidden Forest, powerful enough to break the curse binding him to this half-life. But Voldemort had heard them too, and he had no intention of surrendering his newfound immortality.

Only one of them could walk out of the forest this time.​

Entry Seven: Shades of Reality
Divergence: Hermione Granger stops Harry Potter from going to spy on the person who casts the patronus charm after they've looped back.

Hermione is a little more forceful in restraining Harry when there was time yet to rescue Sirius from the dementors — and now they have no time at all. There was something worse than being expelled, and it may not be Azkaban. Everyone wants to buy time, but only Harry and Hermione can pierce the veil they had cast.​

 

Entry Two

Spoiler

I like the question starting it, because the answer is yes, contrary to most rhetorical questions.

It's a good summary but for the last paragraph. Oil change? breaking up, shacking up and (insert something else to do with friends). That will connect nicely with the last line, which could also be shorter and punchier? Either rephrase or start from "Lesson learnt from this war"

I don't know what's the divergence and I do want to know.

Entry Five

Spoiler

The last phrase in the second paragraph is dissonant with the expectations set by the rest of the paragraph (grand, related to setting)? Split that off into a separate line saying he's not alone?

It might be the influence of indy Harry on me, but earn freedom? No, you seize it.

I think the first paragraph, the laying out of the setting, is as perfect as it can be.

 

This is the one, for me.

I already like the nature of Azkaban following out the prisoners, and the idea that what escaped was no longer a man so much as a warped ideal wearing one's skin.

But the last line is the kill-shot. I would absolutely read this.

 

Spoiler: Entry Three

Interesting premise. A Harry and a Voldemort that are changed by some sort of unknown magic, and Voldemort returns with a bit of a bump. It's not groundbreaking, but it's a clean escalation that isn't overreaching. You've got a flair for the dramatic and that can be good in moderation.

My issue, however, is that the first parse leaves me more confused than it does engaged.

1. Is Harry in league with Voldemort? It doesn't come across very clear to me as the implications are vague.
   
   
2. This is a bit awkward. “On Halloween” or “on Halloween night.” would be less jarring.
   
   Also, why is 'Fall' randomly capitalised in the middle of the sentence?
   
   
3. How has a thirteen-year-old been 'plumbing' unknown and untested magic on the same scale as a Dark Lord, who himself sits in the same league as Dumbledore and Grindelwald? And for all thirteen years at that? It sounds like toddler Harry was studying horcruxes alongside his LEGOS. It makes me expect to see an overpowered protagonist from the get-go, but without any inkling or lead-in as to why he would be that way.
   
   
4. I get what you're trying to do here, mirror the whole 'power he knows not' from canon. But 'power he knows not' makes sense when read in the archaic manner it's meant to be read in.
   
   'Bearing powers he had not' has a decent ominous turn, but the missing object makes it feel almost as if the sentence itself is incomplete. Powers he had not what? Tested? Mastered? Possessed before? Meant to bear? It's not quite working in the way I think you intended it to, as this can be taken two ways. Either with a missing object (which is how I read it), or as a conflicting statement meaning he's back with powers he doesn't actually have, which is confusing.
   
   The last sentence itself just reads a bit tangled in general.

Spoiler: Entry Five

I know exactly who wrote this one, lmfao.

Very interesting concept. I'll admit when I first heard of the Ottoman Empire Harry-fic, I didn't pay it much thought, but the summary is actually turning that on its head. It's genuinely intriguing and the summary does well to showcase that. It lets me know what kind of vibe I'm in for with the cultural impact in there via the market/bazaar, the mention of Djinn, etc. The premise of something so far away from the typical locale and vibe of HP-fanfiction is something I personally enjoy quite a lot.

That said, I do have a few comments:

1. The first thing that comes to mind, is why make this fanfiction at all? It would be much better served as an IP, especially as the summary doesn't hint towards much linkage to the events in canon.
   
   
2. There's a grammar issue here. Should be 'wearing' chains or 'that wears' chains - etc.
   
   This entire sentence is running on a bit too long for my liking. I would split it after 'blood and skill' and then let the latter half sit on its own for more punch.
   
   
3. The Ottoman empire officially dissolved in 1922–1923. Your divergence point is OOTP, so what exactly is going on here? Does the Ottoman empire actually still secretly exist and is hidden from non-magical records? Are we going back to the Ottoman period with some time-travel shenanigans? Making that a bit clearer would help eliminate confusion.

 

Entry Four: Lullaby

Spoiler

I'm not sure how much of the strength of this summary comes from the idea and divergence instead of the summary itself. If I read this summary, I'm expecting a short story or a oneshot.

The last two lines are the strongest, but they also give away the game. I think cutting them out and leaving it hanging ominously on the boy belonging with his family strikes a better balance.