Re: ROFL!

I didn't expect him to turn into a rampaging lunatic, I just have a problem that he was turned into a whiny, pussbag that asks permission before he actually does the cool stuff. It kills the story.

I've said it before many times, I like the writing style in the other two fics (a rather large deal, despite the fact that I loathe H/GW), but in this one, it's a bunch of HURRY UP AND WAIT. The oncoming exodus will be good I'm sure, but all the pussywhipped Harry who is in control of a good portion of his power, sitting there doing dick all, and being screwed by everyone, just really, really doesn't work. It'd work if he was normal power, or just barely Dumbledore's level, but not where he's at.

I don't care if it's a dark, light, neutral, etc Harry as long as the writing is done well and makes sense. Basically having a Merlin caliber power, that does nothing when goddamned Ron Weasley attacks him/his people, is just .... ug.

Somehow it's fitting now that I think of it, that when Voldemort attacks, Harry will be tucking his tail between his legs and running to hide, because for all his power in this fic, he's been turned into a little puss.

 

Yes... But that is counter-balanced by it being a Harry/Cho pairing, which the admins love because it was canon through book 5.

 

O_O ... Ive been following a cannon pairing....



>_< NOOOOOoooooo!!!

*flees in terror!*

 

I stopped reading this fic because of the neverending dozes of angst the authors seem to keep throwing in.

Ok, Harry is abused and sick and he needs caring and attention. He is healed by Hermione and Remus and with their help, he starts getting more and more powerful and knowledgable. Soon, he turns into a Supermen and shows up Dumbledore and the weasels. I can take that, not perfect but readable.

But then, instead of some serious ass-kicking, the autors started throwing in new and new dozes of angst and suffering. For all his power and inteligence and knowledge and political influence and financial backing, Harry is still spending most of his time in a hospital, being taken care of by fucking beaverhead and crying on her shoulder all the time about his cruel fate. BLAH, what fucking sniveling whipped pansy crybaby piece of puss! This fics takes all the fun out of being a god.

 

I checked back into this, and FINALLY the exodus starts, and it is indeed done great. Harry actually has a moment where he floods the elevator shafts in the MoM with lava, while DE's are coming up the elevators. Great bit that was.

However, the problem still exists, now what? You have the majority of the story where Harry is a puss, then he turns great for a few minutes, not because he's killing people, but because he's not asking Hermione for permission to blink. He has his power and he's sure of himself. The bit with Padfoot also was cool.

Then you get back into weak Harry, who gets hurt and he's back in the damned hospital hobbling around, despite having end-all protection from the second skin. He's suposed to be the savior, yet whenever he does actually go out and do something, he gets badly hurt. Loose the cane, he's not fucking Dumbledore's age. You cannot have him hobbling around as a weakling and then be god and expect anyone to buy into it.

I'd suggest scraping so much of the extreme drawn out prelude to the exodus, rewrite the whiny Harry, and keep what you're left with, and it'd be incredible. Maybe some sort of compression of content leading into the nuclear explosion, then keep the rest

 

Thumbs down from me! couldn't stand the story, taking so long to get to bits that where actuall good that i simply lost interest. It's good that he makes Harry powerful but for God sake as soon as the mudblood raised her voice he was a pathetic little push over! pffft has potential like Midknight said if only all that dribble got reformed or taken out completely.

 

I think you can clearly see two different writing styles, there.

I'd say that this Bob guy is totally whipped by his wife Min. As soon as the guy write some good action and ass-kicking, her wife start pestering him to hurt Harry again, so he could again be shown as all fuzzy and vulnerable and having another MEANINGFUL discussion with his celibate girlfriend about his FEELINGS. and MEANING of their relationship, all the while SUFFERING from the wounds that should be easily cureable.

I think they sholud split up their writting, like McCartney and Lennon (Min being Lennon, coz we want Bob to stick around).

 

Yeah I do have to say you can see the difference in writing styles.

Good fight scene... mushy shit.

For some reason Pompfrey seems to be retarded when it comes to fixing Harry, I swear these two would make a papercut to this Harry life-threatening.

I wouldn't be so utterly disgusted and pissed with them if I didn't know they could so much better, I had high hopes for this story. The exodus idea kicks ass, as I said, its just everything else that's .. ug.

 

I first started reading this a while back in the summer.
It was good then, if you could stomach the HHR crap. (no offense to anybody,)
Then Harry had to get UBER-powerful, cant move forever correctly with his leg from a measley spiderbite, which he could easily dispel the poison from his system if he wanted to.

I mean, come on folks, this isn't a bad fic, but I'd say it was more of a read-only-if-you-have-absolutely-nothing-else-to-read-or-do kind of fic right now.

 

I'd like to point out that with this particular story, the author(s) are trying to go against their gut instinct - for example, they honestly admit that redeemed!Draco is against their worldview. Yet they write a redeemed!Draco in SoB. The story is the author's attempt to test their skills, and if the result falls short of the expectations of the readers - well, tough noogies.

On a different tangent, I have to disagree with Harry in SoB being meek - he just feels like a dish served cold. Before the Exodus Prophecy he was gearing to have Dumbles & Co. in Azkaban - if not Kissed. Then revenge became largly irrelevant when faced with the Fall of Hogwarts. I assume we'll get to see more action and a more take-charge Harry in the sequel.

 

It's times like this when I wish I was a Mod, even though Bobmin isn't a member of the DLP.net community there is no reason to say something like this about them. It projects the "asshat" image this community has seemed to have garnered over the past few months. *slaps ip82 on hand*

 

The first two sentences are my honest analyzis of the story, which I had based on these two facts:
1) "Bobmin" are in fact husband and wife team, writing their stories together.
2) Most of the people reviewing this story, including myself, had dual opinions on it, praising it's plot and action scenes, but being properly pissed off by over-pronounced angst and overall meakness of a Godlike wizard.
I'm still standing by my oppinion on this matter.

As for the last sentence, it was rather weak attempt at using dark humor, that I have a tendency of doing at the most inapropriate times (like during funerals for example, which had gotten me in trouble many times). If I had offended anyone by it, I appologize.

 

Hey Hey, no problem, I know Bobmin is a husband and wife team (but it's just so much easier to use singular reference), I'm just trying to point out that the "Bob is whipped" comment, could have been done without - seeing as we're trying to get our community to grow, especially with PatronusCharm approaching we don't want to turn anyone away.

 

Whipped in a sense of writing style and plot control, NOT their personal life, for which I couldn't care less...

You have to admit it's a solid theory. Many authors nowdays are whipped one way or the other, either by publishing companies, their readers (JKR being an example of that), political pressures or some of these factors combined.

 

I'm going to repeat a sentiment that Midknight posted a while back here. If you aren't a mod, don't try to act like one. All it does is annoy the piss outta us. Leave enforcing rules and etiquette to the people in charge. Which is the admins, because I'm too laid-back to come down on somebody for posting valid opinions.

 

Well guess what, as an active member of this community, that was my valid opinion. I see no problem in my post.

 

I gotta disagree with the Harry "best served cold." comment. He's not just cold, the boy is frozen into inaction. Sure he had somethgin to do witht he exodus, he paid for land, but as it's written he let everyone else do everything else while he was a good lil boy and stayed in school. For as strong as they make him at times, keeping him in school as long as they did sucks, and makes no sense when he's being treated like crap by everyone.

He is indeed a little wimp throughout most of the story, except for when I guess the authors get bored and toss in a little over the top fighting scene. Seeing Harry go from limping around and asking Hermione for permission to freaking breathe nearabouts, to seeing him totally destroy the Ministry with DE's everywhere, is just one example of poor continuity. We get it, he got hurt, for some reason it can't be healed, so he's a gimp. We get it, he's whipped, he has to whine over Hermaphrodite.. er Hermione. We don't get how in a split second he can go from utter wuss to badass.

I've said before I enjoy how the exodus was done... WHEN it finally got to it. For all intents and purposes the story is 60% crap filler leading up to what you actually want to see. In that % is ultra-evil Dumbledore, Stupid Ron twist, Outcast this, Outcast that. Hermione may I please use my power to do something? Various other whiny ultra-angst crap. Going back and reading the finish, I almost vomited when I saw Hermione holding Harry up while they were shielding Hogwarts together.. I'm sorry that was really, really whipped.

20% is actually good writing, with alot of descriptive backgrounds on some things. The other 20% I enjoyed alot, as in the whole planning of the Exodus, although I find it stupid that Harry seemingly has little to do with it, and yet gets all the credit.

Sunrise over Britian may be good, but not if they draw out a simple idea over 70K+ words and fill it in with useless angst garbage and characters so far OOC they may as well rename them.

 

nono...its obvious that they're witch and wizard...even in cannon. i mean they're random muggles living in england so its obvious that they had power blocks from the witch hunts in...salem...a.k.a America. it all adds up