Title: Survival at All Cost
Author: Me
Rating: M
Pairings: I currently have no plans on any romance
Summary: Scrimgeour has finally succeeded on his life time dream. He has succeeded in making the Ministry of Magic into an authoritarian government, but his plans are not completely finished yet. Harry Potter isn't dead yet.
Link: http://forums.darklordpotter.net/showthread.php?p=70842#post70842

 

Whats with noobs posting their fics here? I personally think its better to wait for someone else to think your fic is sufficiently good enough for the library, and for them to post it.

Anyway, your fixed version is quite good. Difficult to judge since there is only a few thousand words. The basis is interesting, though I have to ask, how would removing freedom of speech help catch Death Eaters?

Keep it up.

 

Who cares Mordecai? Let them post it, so they get feedback. Lay off the noob, he hasn't broken any rules and a lot of people in his intro said they liked his story.

 

Well, it's gradual. You start by listening in on floo conversations for clues about terro^H^H^H^H^H Death Eater activity. When Stan Shunpike exhibits suspicious behavior, you dump him next door to the Lestranges in the island prison of Azkaban without bothering to further investigate whether he's actually a Death Eater. If anyone complains you call them a fascist. If anyone keeps complaining, you send them to keep company to Stan. No one complains any longer. It keeps us safe from Death Eaters after all.

Sorry, couldn't resist

 

Don't say noobs, it reminds me of the horrifying population that plays counter-strike more frequently than breathing.

The basis seems good, but I'm going to be brutal with you.

o You're trying to write in epic, historical importance format, but it's not working.

o I see some contradictions. Pointed out by IP82.

o Slow down with the plot.

On the upside, I love some of the characterizations. Keep going at it and you'll have a beast.

 

Thanks for the reviews.

Mordecai: I apologize if posting a story in the library is considered a crime To answer some of your questions, things like removing personal freedom is a brutal way of controlling the citizens. It prevents people from rebelling, and it instills fear into the people.

Amerision: Thanks for the constructive response. I agree that my story is rushed, and at some parts contradicts itself. I'm going to be more thorough when reviewing the story in order to fix things through.

By the way PM me if you would like to beta. Expect my second chapter soon.

 

I've always felt that way too. Like it was a little ... egotistical, if that's the right word, to recommend your own stuff. But then that does take guts, I suppose. And if it's good then ...

Anyway, this is interesting. In a positive way.

I'll refrain from rating till there's more, though. But keep it up!! And when you do post on ff.net, change the link

 

This is an OK story, but I don't think the author will be continuing it.

BTW, why was Demented banned? I don't remember any major spat...

 

Well, he didn't follow posting format... didn't put category reccomendation. I'd call it a hint to all people posting here without adhering to the posting format.

EDIT: Sorry, forgot to review. Silly me. The story is a good pre-beta start, but it will need work. Interesting start, I'd like to read more. 4/5.

 

Sent up for deletion.

This is just a few thousands words in WbA from three years ago; it does have an interesting premise, but it barely qualifies as a story.

 

So this story is a grand total of two chapters and quite short. Should be a light read.

First chapter: To start off, Harry is currently avoiding capture from the aurors. The new MoM basically took away people's rights during wartime, not really original.

Bit slow on the uptake to be honest. We then find out that Harry has already defeated Voldemort.

Least it's a bit more realistic then most stories but honestly wouldn't Harry have to kill Voldemort for the prophecy to be completed?

Right, I already suspended my belief but this is pushing it.

Of course, everyone took this laying down or died.

Harry's mentor Nicholas Flamel's house then comes into play as Harry goes there to try and get a safe place to hide out at.

Chapter two:

Uh, isn't Nicholas married? So Nicholas's wife shows up and it seems she doesn't mind at all. And that's it.

Well, given what's there, which is what Mike mentioned (little to nothing) it's tough to even consider this a story. I'll have to rate it 2/5 since I didn't really like it and there is so little there. However, it was readable so I'll give it that.