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TaureBot's list of Fanfiction-Clichés: Discuss

Discussion in 'Fanfic Discussion' started by Skeletaure, Jan 1, 2015.

  1. Newcomb

    Newcomb Minister of Magic

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    The only thing I'm absolutely convinced of by this thread is to never, ever mention House-Elves in my fic.
     
  2. crimson sun06

    crimson sun06 Order Member

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    I've just spent the better part of the last 36 hours or so arguing about the rights of fictional creatures from a series centered around magic. Time I'm never going to get back.
    Should I be ashamed that I had fun doing it?
     
  3. Lyrium

    Lyrium Sent Back to India

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    Well, you could also take the opposite lesson from this.
     
  4. Newcomb

    Newcomb Minister of Magic

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    The opposite lesson being that house-elves are obviously a very fraught subject with passionate opinions and more than two sides, inspiring a great, messy, frustrating debate? Pledge to write a 300K house-elf epic? I suppose I could.

    I was mostly kidding. I always found the house-elf characters in canon to be somewhat annoying, and didn't really have any plans to include them in the first place.
     
  5. Stan

    Stan Order Member

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    Well, the topic of House Elf rights seems quite popular. Controversy creates cash. Or, in this case, Readers.

    You could write a story in which Taure's re-education plan works, House Elves become aware of their great potential and realize that unlike Wizards they don't necessarily need wands to become a threat. They begin to demand more and more rights, including wand rights and the right to vote which are reluctantly granted, up until they demand equal representation in the Wizengemot. The wizards refuse, and there is a huge war between Wizards and Elves. The Wizards try their best but the Elves' ability to disregard anti-apparation spells mean they just assassinate all their leaders. The House Elves, now calling themselves the Great Elves take over the ministry and soon enslave the Wizards using some kind of binding magic they discover.

    Cue thousands of years in the future, Humans have been brainwashed to become happy slaves and don't desire freedom. A few Great Elves are uncomfortable with this and want to re-educate the Humans, but the pure blood Elves are disgusted by this idea and the Humans are scared of freedom anyway. Things come full circle at last.


    .... WTF did I just write?
     
  6. Lyrium

    Lyrium Sent Back to India

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    lol if it were just the length above or like 12 succint chapters i'd read that :p
     
  7. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    The best way to get lots of reviews (which is the whole point of writing, right?) is to leave it ambiguous. Present both sides in the fic, don't have either side be a clear winner, then jot down a few brief inflammatory author's notes at the end of the page.

    Hey presto, instant reviews. Watch readers tear each other apart while your review count skyrockets.
     
  8. Lyrium

    Lyrium Sent Back to India

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    I told ya'll Taure does it on purpose, like Slytherin to the core, right Taure?
     
  9. wordhammer

    wordhammer Dark Lord DLP Supporter

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    Planet of the Apes Angsts?

    (wanted to use Snapes but...)
     
  10. Stan

    Stan Order Member

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    Shit. I'd forgotten about those movies. Too bad my idea isn't as original as I thought. :(

    I doubt any reader would support Elves over Humans in an All Out War though. The moral of the story would be if you have somehow enslaved a very powerful magical species, do not give them the opportunity for freedom.
     
  11. pidl

    pidl Groundskeeper

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    Or just ask for which girls to add to Harry's harem, that works even better.;)
     
  12. Knoq

    Knoq Temporarily Banhammered

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    Oh plenty would. The same people who are all about Muh Privilege, Muh Patriarchy Muh Evil White Men.

    And also because half the pro human reviews would be human supremacists. And holy shit this thread exploded.

    ---------- Post automerged at 05:04 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:03 PM ----------

    Are you about to start screeching about internalized misogyny, and countless other SJW things? :facepalm:facepalm

    ---------- Post automerged at 05:11 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:04 PM ----------

    House Elves still seem to be magically bound to serve their masters for as long as the slavery endures.

    However, most prefer the servitude anyways and go into severe depression without it.

    ---------- Post automerged at 05:36 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:11 PM ----------

    The current pattern of domestic abuse of Blacks has different more recent and tragic sources, much of it has to do with the general break down of poor black society. And it broke down exactly as domestic abuse was beginning to be referred to as monstrous.

    ---------- Post automerged at 05:45 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:36 PM ----------

    Except this a legit visual description, especially from teenage boys. And something you can guess at without nudity.

    ---------- Post automerged at 05:50 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:45 PM ----------

    the difference between race and species is rather large. In fact, there isn't enough differences to claim different breeds, ala dogs.

    And even if you did claim so, there are like what, a dozen or so at most, all roughly the same size and shape. Very roughly.
     
  13. pidl

    pidl Groundskeeper

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    And you expect teenage boys to actually guess correctly?

    If you have to use a description say medium-sized or large instead of the usual DD (because it aren't breasts until you can suffocate someone with them, right?:rolleyes:)
     
  14. golan

    golan Temporarily Banhammered DLP Supporter

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    >Implying he gives a damn about what she said after writing the books to cover her ass because of these giant plot holes she left.

    That was because Kreacher was a notorious dickhead, which was in turn caused by Sirius mom, who was a notorious dickhead, too.

    There is zero indication in canon of the magical UK being isolated from other countries, rather the opposite.
    ____________________________________________________
    How in the hell did this thread derail SO MUCH??
     
  15. Aekiel

    Aekiel Angle of Mispeling ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    The thing isn't that the Wizarding World is isolated from state to state, it's that the population of the Wizarding World in general is miniscule. If we use Taure's 10,000 wizard guesstimate for the magical population of Britain and apply the same percentage to the magical world population as Britain has for the muggle population (roughly 0.9%) then we have 1.1 million wizards in the entire world.

    For reference, the last time there were only 1.1 million muggles in the world rocks tied to sticks were still cutting edge technology.
     
  16. golan

    golan Temporarily Banhammered DLP Supporter

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    We don't know the total population of the WW. Just disregard all or almost all numbers in the books, JKR maths is almost as shitty as mine is.
     
  17. PomMan

    PomMan High Inquisitor

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    I believe that Taure is underestimating his numbers quite a bit. Firstly, we know that the wizarding economy is diverse and full of innovation (brooms, Fred and George, all the shops in Diagon Alley). So that would suggest to me a larger populace by itself. More importantly, there were 100,000 wizards who showed up to watch the Quidditch World Cup final. And not everyone in Britain went (see: Nevile). Are you suggesting that 10% of everyone in the world went to watch the final of the quidditch world cup? About 300 million people watched the World Cup final in Brazil this year, and that is with the ease of Television, which is still only 5% of the world's population, and is the most popular sport in the world in an age where anyone can watch it.
     
  18. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    With portkeys and apparition, going to see the Quidditch World Cup in person is as easy as watching something on television. And Quidditch is even more dominant a sport in the magical world than football is in the Muggle world. On top of that, it's clearly a cultural event where wizards get the rare opportunity to gather in one place. I have no problem believing that a very high percentage of the world's wizarding population was there.
     
  19. Gengar

    Gengar Degenerate Shrimp –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    Arthur Weasley got tickets ffs.
     
  20. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I would in fact suggest that the reason why British tickets were limited is that it's (probably) an event which the ICW has a prominent role in negotiating/organising, and as such tickets are assigned to countries more or less fairly. Maybe a small extra for the host country/teams involved in the game, but in general, I expect international representation was proportionate.
     
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