I have yet to read anything original in my life, and I doubt I will ever.
Harry Potter is a number of different stories and ideas with a spark of originality, that together made a good mix. Fanfiction will always be unoriginal in its basic form [like everything else by now], but some stories will be CRAP and some stories will be even MORE CRAP. And then theres DR =]

 

I saw that fic on FFA. I think it was by Jeconais.

 

A non cliché crossover I would like to see is a Hp/Baldur's Gate where Harry is a child of Bal.

Another fic I though of (but could never write myself) would be a humour fic that bashed the "framed and sent to Azkaban" cliché, where a Slytherin Harry framed himself. So that when the Ministry and the Order of the Fried Chicken discovers his 'innocence' and let him out he can use peoples’ sympathy to grab power for himself.

 

Did anyone ever read a story where Dudley is a muggleborn wizard? Should be interesting.

 

Yup Magical Relations. Heres the link http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3446796/1/Magical_Relations

I don't remember if it was good though.

 

ooh, that's neat. Thank you.

 

I wana read a fic where the Dursleys are neo-nazis. Imagine Nazi!Harry strutting around Hogwarts.

 

Cannibal!Harry would be fun.

 

Harry raised by Osama Bin Laden or Saddam Hussein. That would be interesting.

 

Sorry Humbolt but how in the utter name of all that's unholy would that happen? At least with nazis there are recruiters and shit but... Bin Laden? WTF?

You took it too far dude.

 

Lucius Malfoy hired terrorists to attack the Dursleys and kill Harry. Bin Laden, who lead the attack, took a liking to him and decided not to kill him. He takes him back to be raised as his little terrorist protege. There!

 

You know I would probably read that just for the lulz value.

 

A world without Dumbie. Lord Grindlepants didn't die, until he tried to kill James potter, the boy who lived. Harry is the boy who lived mark II.

 

Is it just me, or does that ^ not make sense. Who is Grindlepants?

 

Grindewald I assume.

 

'Dumbie', 'Grindlepants', 'tommy boy', 'moldy-shorts'. These are the tools of the retard.

 

Right. He's officially a human/goblin hybrid and a dueling champion, despite any disadvantages he has due to his size. He's got far more potential than most of the other teachers. Sure, since most of the teachers are completely blank slates, one could argue they actually have more potential...

But, of course, they'd be an obtuse, nitpicking douche for doing so.

As much as I'd like to like Minerva (I wouldn't even mind seeing a decent Harry/Minerva story, the woman's hair hasn't even gone gray yet. At least it wouldn't be the same old, same old. Ahem...), as she is in canon, we know almost nothing about her except that she's the head of a house known more for its brash loudmouths and fickle loyalties than bravery and forthrightness.

Even she does fuck-all to help Harry out. Sure, he never actually told her Umbridge was torturing him, but with Minnie's track record on that front, why would he? No, she's way too far up Dumbledore's ass to actually be a useful character. The one useful thing she did for Harry was to suggest that the people WHO WOULD BE RAISING HIM weren't fit to do so. Then Dumbledore, in his infinite detachment and indifference, said, "Tosh, Minerva, dear." and she rolled right over. After all, it's not like who raises you is important. Shit.

Whenever it's time to put up, and do the right thing, or shut up, and be a wimp, she shuts up. Sure, she'll join a mob of teachers in ousting Snape or stand up against the aurors on behalf of a half-giant who is old enough to have gone to school with her, but she can't lift a finger to help Harry, who is, what, more than half a century Hagrid's junior and probably an eighth his body weight? Anyway...

Yeah, more Flitwick... and more people who can fucking spell his name. I've seen so many butchered variations on Filius Flitwick, it makes my hands itch to wrap around a throat and squeeze.

I actually have something I fiddle around writing scenes for (yes, another one), every once in a while, that vaguely matches that description. Vaguely.

Features a smart, powerful, post-OoTP Harry. However, as we all know, he hasn't been trained to fight Voldemort, so his dueling is only slightly better than his peers. He really only edges them out due to his power and uncanny luck. He discovers a knack for making things using his magic, though, which opens up a whole new way to fight Voldemort, the Wizarding World's stupidity, and the Goblin Nation's greed (yeah, they're dicks in this one).

The supporting cast members are recognizable, but they act quite differently from canon, though not unrealistically so. So no clichés there, I think. Oh, and a female version of Harry makes an appearance in there, alongside the male one.

So, yeah, Harry is better at creating and strategically deploying his magical gadgetry (some of which gets pretty crazy) than actually dueling in a stand up fight. He is getting better, though.

Too bad it will never see the light of day.

I can write decent individual scenes revolving around a common thread, but can't seem to plan out a coherent, overarching plot to save my life. I just write random scenes out of chronological order that all fit in the same 'story'. People here are probably tired of hearing me hint at this shit I write but do nothing with... even I am.

It probably wouldn't be DLP's cup o' tea in general, anyway, as it's somewhat light-hearted for this crowd, while not being a comedy by a longshot, and doesn't take itself too seriously.

That's not even counting the fact that it keeps wanting to steer itself towards harem territory. That sort of thing seems to be frowned upon here, these days. In all fairness, I can see why; the typical harem fic is absolutely trite, unoriginal dogshit that is cannibalistically plagiarized from every harem fic before it, and filled with unimaginative sex scenes which don't even qualify as decent smut. It is a hard subject to write about seriously.

I will say, though, that there is a difference between a story that is about a polygamous ship, and a story that just happens to include a polygamous ship. Though I can be guilty of it in my casual writings, basing a story on a ship, rather than a plot, is a near surefire trip to Fail City, which is what most harem fics suffer from.

That sort of goes hand-in-hand with the idea expressed here, in essence, before: It's not the clichés that are so bad, it's what is done with them. Even a cliché can be used in a new and interesting way.

Bah, enough about that shit.

 

Warlocke, feel free to let it all out.

The amazing thing about people in fanon is that once a blank slate character is given a personality, everyone rushes to just copy the new model.

Daphne: Slythering Ice Queen
Fleur: Hogwarts Nurse in training (thankfully, a new flux of stories is getting rid of this)
Griphook: surprisingly, it was canon that destroyed the cliche of Friend-of-Wizards

and the list goes on.

Depressing as it is, I guess the point is that even if a fic with an original idea comes into existence, the sheer number of fics written means that anything and everything quickly becomes cliche, and the only variable is that certain characters and situations reach that point faster than others.

Gloom aside, can we have a fic where Harry douses Hermione with Amorentia, deliberatley coupling his two 'best' friends so that he can actually meet people worth knowing?

 

Screw you. Those are long words... names... whatever. I'm discombobulated.

 

SCREW YOU, YOU BASTARD! THATS MY WORD!!!

As an apology you got to visit this website!

http://www.internetisseriousbusiness.com/