Yes! I like that. Although I was shooting more for that happening in battles or raids, but...the way you put would be AWESOME!

 

I'm just wondering, has anyone ever seen Harry as a Circus Clown? I've seen trapeze artist once or twice, but I've never seen any fictions where Harry has a job that really isn't too good and he still likes the job. Could you imagine, Voldemort looks up and sees a balloon dog just floating down to him and it explodes or something.

Just a weird little thought I was having, it sure goes against the norm!

 

Mr. F...that's Incubus Powerful, I-Don't-Give-A-Fuck!Harry doing what needs to be done with cunning, but mostly brute force.

You wanna put me on trial for using magic? Bish, i'm gonna make you look like a fool, and when this farce is over, I'll kill you regardless of the fun that it was.

You slander me? I'll break your legs until you write exactly what I want you to write, motherfucker.

That sort of thing ^_^

 

Yarrgh!: And that is why I'm in love with your story. It's such a polar opposite from the usual hero Harry gets to be. Incubus and Bungle in the Jungle, by Jim. Both have that kind of hero, and coincidentally, both are my favorite stories.

 

For some reason, I jsut got the image of Feminist!Harry. Yeah, I can see him and Hermione joining forces in their first year, to combat sexist school rules, take down sexist teachers, and seriously get on Minerva's nerves. That would be amazing to read.

 

What about A harry is dropped in the middle of the Jungle that has Tarzan and is raised by a wolf before he challenges the lead wolf for Dominances and dies?

Or what about him being raised by Jesus and is trained in holy magic but, then he gets into a fight and jesus kills harry?

What about a story where harry's family visits Asia and he's sold to hot Bisexuals as a slave and instead of gettin any he has to watch and isn't allowed to pleasure himself? And then dies at an old age of 250 crying to himself as he finally is allowed to wank off before being put to death and hung on the wall like a common house elf?

Or maybe a story where he's raised by his son who travels back in time to bang his mom but went to far back and now has to raise his dad so when he goes to school he can kill off Flamel and get Perenelle for himself who really stole the PS/SS and replaced it with a fake transfigured tennis ball. (in case you didn't catch that, in the future Harry buggers a lady old enough to be his great-great-great-great-great gramma) You know what I do recommend this to Vash, he's good with that type of stuff

Oh, oh what about a story where Harry's body matures at a young age and he get's sent to Juvy for raping his childhood teacher who spanked him and he liked it. Then he starts raping all the little boys in jail and gets freed by dumbles and starts buggering girls again cause he likes girls but in jail you bugger or get buggered!

Maybe a story where he's to be executed because he killed off a holy wizarding stuffed dancing banana:banana: but escapes and moves to India and buys many different monkey paws and gets a lawyer to right up ways to avoid the nasty business and lives the immortal life sleeping with different women and while we're at it toss in a Department store the sells wizarding stuffed dancing bananas in India too! It wasn't holy just cheap!

Maybe a story where Harry accidently enters an adult Manga called Super Taboo. Go on, I dare all of those who know what it is to come forward. Come on... bitch. (This one actually wasn't my idea.... go figure)

Maybe one where Ginny tries to sneak into his bed one night and sleep with him but accidently goes into Ron's and she gets pregnant but when the baby comes out it looks disturbingly like Peewee herman or Dumbles or Crookshanks! He's magical so it could happen! Maybe the kid could be born a natural animagus (cat)

Or maybe one where Dobby's the thing-that-lived! He was ordered by Malfoy to go to Voldemort and warn him of Dumbles arriving and accidently popped in front of the killing curse and sent it back with his wandless magic.

I should stop...maybe one more? yeah one more!

harry apparates right after the killing curse right in front of a Sumo wrestler is sitting down and gets stuck in his crack and is on a mission to venture his way up through the body and out the mouth into freedom!!! (Lemiwinks)

 

OK what the hell was the point of all that??

If those are your ideas I have to say they are crap and depressing. And if you are trying to be funny... that ain't working either.

 

Yeah, Dragon? That wasn't funny. At all. Just slightly disturbing and strange.

 

I thought Dragon ws funny. Strange, yes. but funny too

 

Welcome to DLP, faithsbigbrother! Now, mosey on down to the Introduction forum and start your own thread about yourself.

 

Just wanted to say that this would be hilarious, whether as a one shot or an extended story. Maybe have a set up something like the classic SNL Reagan sketch:

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/86/86fmasterbrain.phtml

 

Dragon...that was bad. This thread isn't an excuse to put out ideas that you think would be funny or ideas that are idiotic and have no place in HP Fanfiction. The point of this thread is to point out things that haven't happened in Fanfiction, things that serious authors might consider using in their fics.

 

That actually sounds like a really good idea.

I can actually imagine him reading the sorting hat's mind, sort of like a reverse mind probe.
Or even a kind of Carrie like psychic power, which would be pretty cool.

Litha

 

bwahaha, I actually thought dragon's ideas were funny... they'd make good parodies... but then, i am half asleep and it's 2:40 in the morning...

 

Harry jams a pair of dice up Voldemort's nostrils, then headbutts him on the nose to make them come blasting out of his ears. That'd be rather amusing, wouldn't it?

 

I was searching for an AU story that started with Harry in CoS commanding the basilisk to stop, Ginny killed and then Riddle eaten by the basilisk. It sounds like a cliche, I know but I havent seen it done, so it makes a good start for an AU.

 

Another one I'd like to read.

It's close to Olfrik's idea, but I'd love to see Harry kill Ginslut to stop Tom Riddle.
I mean the diary is powered by her soul/energy, so cutting the supply would stop Tom.

Litha

 

I think that was done is a chapter of Burn Baby Burn. I remember Harry cut off Ginny's head before going pyro on the basalisk.

 

What about the classic cliche boosted up a bit?

Harry dragged his gun up using the last wisps of his . "Eat lead Voldibitch!!" With a twitch that barely shifted it, he dragged the trigger back emptying his uzi into Voldimorts Balls. "Kicked you're ass." he muttered before passing out just as a blast of tidal wave like magic rippled from the two warriors Eating away at all people nearby. "You did it son. You did it with the power of love" were the last murmurs of Dumbledore as he, ginny, ron, hermione, and all order members, and death eaters where vaporized.

Hours later,
Harry struggled to crack the lid of his left eye. Apparently that was a bad idea because voldemort who was only shot in his barely existing ball (yes, a dark ritual took his left one) and was looming over him. "Hey, did we kill them all?" "Ya...you really had me going for a sec. Stupid weaklings believing that a bullet to my ball would kill me...Wanna go on a killing spree?" the near giddy dark lord drawled. "Nah" croaked the boy-who-got-pissed-off-and-destroyed-fifteen-miles-of-scotland. "Ok then...wanna go get ice cre..." he was immediately cut of by a sudden shout of "I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!!!" From his near dead protege. "I guess thats a yes..."