Title: The Assassin Wore White
Author: ApAidan
Rating: T
Genre: Drama/Angst
Status: Oneshot
Library Category: General Fics
Pairings: None
Summary: In canon, healers and mediwitches were seemingly spared from the predations of the Death Eaters during both Blood Wars. St. Mungo's would have been a very soft target, but it stood inviolate. One patient was attacked, but the hospital and it's staff were spared. The question is, why? What could have kept mad killers in check? As with a great many other things, Poppy knew.
Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10071063/1/The-Assassin-Wore-White

A 9.5K piece following Poppy Pomfrey, in the aftermath of a Death Eater attack. It follows one major cliche as a centrepiece - magical oaths - but given the overall context of the story, I don't think it matters overly much.

Voldemort has a decent characterization in this, with the grand gestures that one might expect from a 'classy supervillain' type character, and nobody seems to be bashed too much.

I can't really say too much about this without potentially ruining the plot, although I don't think that it is particularly unexpected.

Overall, a 5/5, because I'm not exactly sure what else could have been done to improve it.

 

Lots of this sort of odd and slightly unpleasant word choice, which I'm not found of.

I don't feel like my time was wasted reading it, but it wasn't a mystical and exquisite triumph.

4/5

 

Non-Harry centric is minus points. Pomfrey being an unused character is minus point.

Good grammar and interesting story is positive points. Despite the boringness at many points, I liked it enough. It feels "meh" in many points though.

3.5/5

 

It was an interesting idea, and I always like seeing under used characters get some spotlight. But it was a slog to read. The prose did not flow at all.

2/5.

 

Its... Okay.

I mean I like this idea of the magical oath but at the same time one feels like it could read a little better.

3.75/5

round up to 4 for the thread since I would call it good.

 

2.5/5 (rounded to 3).

Unique story idea: good.
Overpowered 'ability' which makes it so you're never really wondering whether the protagonist would be successful: bad.
A lot of pontificating: bad.
Writing: average.

Rounded to 3 because it's a short story, and so the unique idea is presented without the negatives becoming overwhelming.

 

I really liked the idea of the reason of the healer's retribution. I've never seen anything like this done before, and considering how many story ideas there are out there, that's important to me. It was a bit preachy, but it wasn't overbearing. It wasn't too long, but is definitely something I'd recommend to others. Solid 4/5 for ingenuity, prose, and concise storytelling, but it doesn't have that extra bit that makes it an outstanding story.

 

An interesting idea is this fic's strongest point, but on others fronts it comes up kinda short. Prose wasn't the best and the overly flowery language used in some places had no weight behind it, it sounded like they were reading some friggin' beaurocratic formulas instead of invoking powerful magic. The last part, where Pomfrey explains the oaths is convoluted.

Also, Voldemort's characterization gets a no from me.

It was a cool idea, but execution leaves something to be desired.

2/5 overall.