sigh oh well, i guess darkath or whatever its called will have to do

 

Reign O'er me. I found this when I saw a link to the Cho pic I posted in the Dakaath thread. Seeing it was billed as a No angst fic, I read it. I wish for the time I spent reading this bullshit to be refunded back to my life. NOW.

-He becomes bonded with Ginny, and in order to help the bond along, they must hold hands for a period of time... They cause Voldemort, and me, pain with their kissing and sex.

-Sirius comes back. Harry and Ginny drip their blood on the broken mirro and get him back with a badly explained idea of summong him and using a portkey. Not really clear what the hell went on at all. They release a dementor like monster accidentally.

-Snape is revealed as a spy for Voldemort, who found him to be a spy for Dumbledore and oblivated his mind multiple times. Snape goes from being hated suddenly to liked to.. wtf.

-Has a long lost sister, who looks like a clone of Ginny. The months old fetus was taken from Lily and implanted in a death eater who escaped to America. Snape is the godfather.

-A buncha of shitty chapters about them in America and some seriously crappy fights. Harry has a shield that can stop a RPG, which oddly enough, the term RPG had to be explained to everyone that got hit by one, but Mrs. Weasley knows what it is... figure that one out.

-The Flamels are used, in such a horrible way, that they are there simply there to explain the bond, and they keep coming up with off the wall stuff to add to the story. Oh.. there was a prophecy made by Nimue, oh btw I'm a deuling champ and can train you, oh by the way the phoenix that showed up out of nowhere is special, oh... you get the point. It's effing horrible.

-Harrys sister, JAMIE (gee digged deep for that effinf name didn't we?) has a scar on her stomache that reacts the exact same way Harrys does in a later chapter.

-Ginnys wand core is a phoenix feather, blah


Theres much more, but atm I can't bear to skim through anymore of this crap.

 

I tried to read it but I just couldn't.

 

I can speed read, so each chapter took me maybe 30 seconds, in that time I unfortunatly keep about 70% retention. I say unfortunatly because I remembered that much after reading it several days prior. I want to wash my brain with drain-o.

I went and skimmed the last chapter, trust me it gets worse with draco turning light, Jamie crushing on Draco, etc.

People who write stuff like that should be castrated.

 

The only treatment Malfoy deserves is what he got in Prince of Darkness. I was going to have Harry torture and completely break him, but I figured that the little inbred wasn't worth the effort.

 

ON the contrary that is not quite enough Midknight :cry: , what we need to do is remove him and all who inspired such knowledge and will to write such utter drivel from the genepool. Maybe their families too . . . :twisted:

 

Give em to my new harry... hell come up with some interesting ways to get rid of them...

 

:?: what if the writer is a girl?

 

Has anyone read my post? *sniffle*, 'him' can be unisexual in my post if you look really really hard at it :evil: :wink:

 

As long as it's one of the baseball bats from Japan wrestling back in the day, with the flaming barbed wire.

 

Let's just give them the full office party treatment.

 

yesss, ssoundss like fun

 

May I have the honour of pointing you to the following :roll:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1989776/1/

One of my favourite parts:

"What is your name?" asked albus Dumbledore to worm tail under truth potion in the ministers office. "Peter Pettigrew" the wizard replied.

( I am just going to use D for Dumbledore and P for peter)

D: is Tom alive?

P: as well as can be and VERY happy because of me

D: who is Tom and why is he happy?

P: Tom is the Dark Lord and he is happy because I was able to fame Harry for the murder of Ginny Weasley and give you a potion that will make you belive that Harry did that.

D: how do you cancel the potion?

P: with a simple Finite Incantartum

Dumbledore pulled out his wand and said "Finite Incantartum" and continued the interrogation

D: so Harry is Innocent?

P: of coarse he is he would never join my master



Finite Incantum has not been cast once on dumbledore during 6 years :roll: :lol:

 

Its not the authors fault his parents dropped him on his head.

 

This story is just amazing.