That was just retarded.... I just read the first paragraph and knew this wasn't going anywhere but down the drain.

 

He's Not Your Average Savior
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2920387/1/

Now, this story is neither disgusting, nor slash, fluff, angst or any of those things. It's actually Independent!Harry story with decent grammar and readable writing style. But still, I don't remember when was the last time I was so stumped by UTER STUPIDITY of a story I expected to like.

Just... read it and you'll see what I mean.

If you’re impatient, here are a few excerpts to tickle your imagination.

Note: Harry is not particulary upset in these quotes. This is how he normally speaks in this fic.

 

I see what you mean about the swearing, it's totally over the top.
Not to mention that I've never heard anyone use mother fu-ker.

Bloody hell and fuck are the most I've heard, and you'll probably note I swear quite a bit.

Also using angry tones in a situation when you aren't is stupid. They make him sound like Kevin from the fast show, stupid and retarded.
There doesn't seem to be any contrasts in how he's feeling (a bit like an extreme weasel).

Also suburban? Not normally a word I hear much of, except on buffy.

Those were my biggest peeves.

Litha

 

Yes, even when we like something, it has to be subtle, or at least not extreme... i am, as you probably noticed, mainly a hhr reader, but i can't read two thirds of supposed hhr fics, seeing how bad they are. I also like independant!harry, but i cringe at almost of them. Cliche isn't bad- i love a cliche with a nice twist- but i really think most authors do their fic for some kind of ego boost or something, and i can't understand how some fics can be reviewed and others much better not (go and review orb of slytherin pss pss )

 

Its very Americanized - or at least West Coast of American-ized. While the people I hand around don't tend to swear left and right, if I heard someone say mother fucker I wouldn't blink. I would consider it as normal a swear word as any other. Surburban isn't that uncommon either. Not something I would have ever associated with Harry's life, but still, a pretty normal word for people to describe that type of cookier cutter neighborhood.

 

http://www.fanfiction.net/l/224/0/2/1/1/0/1/0/0/0/2/ second one #27 I won't even click it the description is too much

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2980673/1/ click this for the weirdest POV ever

 

Taken from the page Madeye linked...

The Faerie Lord http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2937810/1/
Summary: slash AU Rescued from the Dursleys at age 4, an abused Harry is raised by faeries. Now a lord by his own right, Harry must face his destiny.

WTF. Gayest.Summary.Ever.

OH NOES!11! I have to leave Fairy land! >_>

Parents http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2993457/1/
Summary: Draco's parents want him to bring his new girlfriend home for the Winter Holidays. One problem his girlfriend is none other than Harry Potter!

Again WTF!!

....No comment. >_<

If I could change the damage I've done http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2985568/1/ Summary: Remus and Harry are married and Harry is pregnant and carrying triplets. After they're born, the wolf in Remus forces him to reject the youngest of the three because she almost died and was the weakest. The wolf couldn't take it if he lost a pup so remus

....There's no way in HELL i'm clicking that link. Anyone else can take the fucking plunge. Good luck to anyone that does.

*Goes to read Harry/Bellatrix smut to clear his mind*

 

.............. Son of a Bitch... I want to hurl just from the summaries... UGH!!

A different kind of marriage http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2983462/1/
Harry finds out he has to marry someone before he turns 21 and Ginny volunteers. At first it's an arrangement but then the truth comes out.

I was curious to see the "truth" but I could not get past the first chapter.

Katie's Choice http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2322926/1/
This is a Harry finds family in an unexpected place type story. Harry gets along with at least 2 members of the Dursley family, and finds that he has other family crawling out of the woodwork. Harry finds love with another Character that isn't originally

The writing is so boring... and the Mary Sue...

 

This is the one I was talking about
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2991428/1/ -Harry gets raped by Draco... and likes it.

here's a freebie
Time Machine - Frodo builds a time machine and Sam and him go to the Harry Potter world. They have a lot of sex and it's an Xover! NOT FOR KIDS! ADULTS ONLY! MA!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2933956/1/ - Draco Malfoy thinks his life to be over when he is forced to conceive Lord Voldemort´s child. Will he find somebody whom he can trust with his secret and maybe even his heart? 6th year. HarryDraco rape,slash,mpreg I am remodeling some chappies to fit M


As Lewis Black would say "FUCK"

 

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE? I mean, Jesus Christ!

uke:

 

I hope you're happy, I'm now officially scarred for life. That's some of the worst shit I've ever had the displeasure of reading.

Excuse me while I puke out my intenstines.

 

Dude, Madeye stop with the nasty shit. The other thread was deleted and everyone lost a lot of post because of this sick shit you're posting.

Give the story link, but don't post the nasty shit, it's freaking me out.

 

No...altogether stop posting this shit.

For fuck's sake...this is the 'Awesomely Bad' thread. That doesn't mean that you have to go and LOOK for shitty fics. It means that if you come across a shitty fic while you're browsing through someone's favorites list or whatever, then you post it on here.

And for fucks sake...this isn't a slash-bash. We get the point...its been beaten in repeatedly. Slash fics, by and large, are written by immature little girls who think that Harry Potter serves no other use than to take it up his ass.

Stop posting these links, man. I have to say, though, if you DO come across fics this shitty while browsing a C2 or a favorites list, add the summary in. Every once in a while, i DO click on these links, and if slash hits me in the face, and its graphic, i find myself unable to write for a few hours at least.

And Gamma: You don't have to read them

 

You forgot Yarrgh!, they also think babies can pass though the asshole.

On to less ... horrific matters...

From his blood and tearshttp://www.fanfiction.net/s/2889293/1/
When Harry breaks his picture frame that held his parents picture, his blood unlocks a spell that brings them back.Chapter 17 re posted

 

I'll have to say that it was worth it after I read the kid's profile.

 

Wow that kids profile... lol. Im surprised it isnt reported.

 

Hey, from my point of view after reading HBP (in no less than 10 hours, mind you), he should take it up the ass a few times, if only to get him to wake up and realize what a shitty world he lives in...

Bubba likes wizards who like Ginslut, yes he does. He also enjoys men in high heels, dresses, and tea on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

 

I came across this and just had to post it:

Harry Potter Snape and the Battle of Cancer by bandgeekforlife
Harry is five in this story. Harry becomes sick and his father Severus Snape the lead singer of his own band becomes worried and takes him to the doctors.
Complete - Fiction Rated: K - English - Angst/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 16457 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 6-25-06 - Published: 6-25-06

I never dared to click on the link.

 

O_O

Good God! Thats just... just... AGH! I can't do it, I just can't click on that link, because I like my brain cells...

 

I stumbled across this beast and it is turely awful.

Harry Potter and the Phoenix Warriors:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2913889/1/