There's now over 100 pages overall of "awesomely bad" fics

Old thread found here.

 

Oh, there's lots of bad ones out there, just most of them aren't "awesomely bad".

Like this one.

Well, I have no idea who the GBoys are. Perhaps Ginny's previous lovers?

Two words: Ron Weasel.

And does this make sense to anyone? "It wasn’t that they were good either, it’s just there was already a bad guy when they were born so they were left to fight for the good (they didn’t care as long as they got to fight)." Anyone hear of "Make love, not war."?

I've said it before, and I'll say it again... nyah ha ha.

Hooray for Animé... the only place you can get retarded cowboys. Well, other than Brokeback Mountain, anyway. And poor Hagrid. Misunderstood at the best of times, and apparently, he speakie Eenglish really bad.

Needless to say, I don't think I'll be reading more of that, thank you very much.

 

Actually, it's a crossover with GUndam Wing, conviniently ignoring that it's set centuries in the future.

 

Chronicles of the Chosen Onehilosopher's Stone
padawan lynne

"You need to be cured of all this utter nonsense and a summer with the Dursley’s will set you right"

...I agree with Dumbledore here, what a rancid crossover.
Edit: Holy hell 4th version!? How many awesomely bad fics can there be!?

 

Heh.

Your brain hasn't asploded yet? Good, 'cause there's still more...

The strange thing is that the need to control everything in her reach isn't unique just to this Ginny, but to nearly every incarnation of the Whore in fan fiction, be it good or evil.

...

Yes, there's more where that came from, not to mention the other five or so dark!ginny fics that I found...

 

Does that mean you were actively looking for dark!ginny fics?

 

Well, I found that fic on page 3 on FFnet... after that, let's just say my curiousity got the best of me.

 

Woot! Go us!

And once you think about it, it's really not that hard to find horrible written fic in the HP fandom. It's kinda sad.

 

Danica Potter: True Heir of Slytherin

As per usual, the female version of HP is destined to fall in love with Draco Malfoy, have Snape's respect, and have a shallow character that the author probably thinks is cool. Enjoy.

 

Well, I have absolutely nothing to do, so I guess I'll just drop another badfic post here. I'm actively looking for the things now... it's rather fun, if in a horribly sickening sort of way.

An excerpt:

 

Ugh, not twin sex! Why do people write that shit anyways? You know, the Phelps twins are even against it as well. There is a picture somewhere and two of them are holding up signs that say 'Twins Against Twinsence (sp)." There faces are filled with horror.

Okay, I found the pic!

 

When anybody says that... never believe them. Never.

"Oh my Gigglypuff?" What the hell are you smoking?

And you have a penis. I have one too. Knowing fan fiction, yours is around ten inches long, and two inches thick. Is Malfoy into a bit of cock, then?

Oh, you mean a Jigglypuff. And that, boys and girls, is how to tell the good crack from the bad.

There's lots more, bu I don't think I can go on.

 

Hey, is there a C2 on ff.net with DLP worst HP fan fics?

 

And this is what you get when you select "Harry Potter" and "Argus Filch" from the character lists. There were eleven of these things... be glad I'm only posting one:

No, I'm not making this up... and no, I don't know why this gets to stay when countless good Independent!Harry fics get deleted.

 

These kinds of things amuse me greatly. "Twisted yet somewhat handsome" made me laugh out loud. And now for my contribution:

Falling by Harrylova
AS of now Black Blood Dragon Goddess has taken over this story. Harry is going into his sixth year at Hogwarts and he has changed. He is became very dark and Goth. He is abused by his uncle, does drugs and begins cutting himself. Snape notices this change
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3810 - Reviews: 36 - Updated: 11-7-06 - Published: 7-6-06

But wait, there's more to this! First it says:

Then it says:

Don't tell me it's magic! In Quote 1, Harry is receiving the Beatings Daily 'Til He's Near Dead Treatment. In Quote 2, Harry is an obsessive excersising goth with a six pack and piercings. Same chapter, same story. Perhaps it's a little hypocritical of me to say that it's ridiculous for a person to think so little when writing, but it must be said. That aside, enjoy if you want to read more. All the reviews are positive after all. wall: )

 

Hey, weren't we just talking about this? Fem!Harry.

Well done, you've turned Harry into Ginny. Now, try raising your I.Q. to a normal level. And who calls their kid Seven? Oh, right: someone who is way too interested in her:

It's alright, my Lockhart-like perfectly white teeth will save you! Oh, while you're down there, give me a hand, will you?

Yeah, the hairpins and mud mask get to you unless you arrive on time. And did you ever see that bathrobe? So last year.

And how do I know these things? Because I believe in an Author. And this Author whispers things in my ear about you, so that eventually, I'll be the one to do you.

Nyah ha ha.

Because, you know, I'm a failure. Except for these teeth, have you seen them?

Eerily pervish, no? Look, her left side! Skin! It's a hickey! Wait, too small to be a hickey. Wrong colour, too.

G-I-N-N-Y! Ginny! Ginny! You're... Ginny! You know, rail-thin, but totally teh hawtness.

Bring leather outfit, but no underwear.
Signed,
Professor Snape, and his fangirls and boys.

 

Seven totally reminds me of that episode from Seinfield

 

The one where Michael Richards goes on a racist rant?

 

Three more, straight off the first page:


One...

Two...

And the winner is...

And now for an excerpt of this masterful piece of literature:

 

Honestly, this is like a sport! Who can find the worst HP fan fic is the winner! Now, I sometimes wonder what would happen if the authors knew that their s tories were being posted on here. I'd really like to see their reactions.