I agree...

WTF http://www.angelfire.com/mn3/pokegirls/1127311502111.jpg

nsfw

 

Thanks guys, after you said you wished you hadn't googled it, I had to google it. Thanks. Now I have to find a way to make me forget.

 

God damn it, I googled it and it turns out that the name "Drow zee" was right. Like pikabu, jigglyslut or milktit.

I clicked again and recieved a load of images...I'll never look at a ponyta the same way again.

 

And, of course, it's slash.

Seratin, a challenge: find me a goffik fic where Harry isn't gay. I don't want to read it; I just want to see if it actually exists!

 

Drowzee was a pokemon...a very shit one too. Alakazam and Gengar ftfw!

Why is it that if fangirls have to turn Harry into a half fey/vampire/uber-god/some other fucked up magical creature, they always make his hair change? Not to something normal though, I mean they couldn't do that, but I mean how the fuck does becoming a fey give you black hair with red highlights and silver tips?

Stupidity I say.

Anyway, the first line of the summary caught my eye...

Harry Potter and the Venom Within » by Ultraman Nexus reviews
Venom Crossover. What do you get when you bond together a angsty, teenage wizard with a liquid black symbiote from outer space that has a near obssesion with brains and chocolate? Insanity, that's what. HarryLuna
Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 14,682 - Reviews: 23 - Updated: 3-27-08 - Published: 9-7-07

I was sooo wrong.

 

Ebony, Well you did ask....

 

I stopped reading.

EDIT: Sera where's your sig from...it's strangely familiar.

 

Sounds like Drizz't's valium loving cousin.

 

Did you catch the author's NAME?
Hunnypooh!?!?

Are you sure it's actually goffik? Maybe it's a prep trying to be kewl?

 

Well, just in case you wanted to see more of what he's doing...

http://naruto.adultfanfiction.net/authors.php?no=1296828538

Oz: Cookies, you say. I need typa to check your cookies over - I don't trust you.

 

Updated with the Portkey link, because it's worse.

-Harry's the heir of Grindelwald

-Grindelwald's Big Bad Castle of Doom, complete with Ringwraiths and Orcs

-Hermione's the heir of Voldemort(!)

-Good Draco

-Teen Pregnancy (Twice!)

-Voldie killed by the Power of Love (Again)

-Death Eater Krum (He's Bulgarian, remember? All Bulgarians are secret Dark Wizards!)

-Aragorn!Harry (No, seriously)

-Teen Marriage (Guess who to- oh, wait, I really am that predictable, aren't I?)

-Manipulative!Dark! then Redeemed!Dumbledore

-Standard Ron betrayal ("How dare that Mudlbood bitch betray me! I'll get that Potter! And his little Owl, too!")

-Order betrayal. Then Harry and his little order kill them all, and no ones gives a shit. Seriously, they go back to school like nothing fucking happened.

-Fucking retarded spells.

-Expecto Gladiatorem!
-Alohomora Maxima!
-Internum Exploder!​

-Another Fucking Yule Ball.

-Trigger standard "Harry dropped his jaw at the sight of Hermione, then splooged in his robes"

-Rape scene, because the best way to deal with a supposed Dark Witch is to stick your meat in her snatch, right?

-Obligatory sex scene. Not always a bad thing, but read it without cringing. I dare you.

-And, of course, Harry's a gentleman:

"Are you sure, Hermione?" Harry asked tenderly.

She rolled her eyes. "I let the Ginger Nut cum in there, do you think I won't let you?"

Harry eyed her vagina warily. "Maybe I'll pass..."

-Wrong middle name. Hermione Eleanor Granger? The fuck?

-

Because Harry will slit his throat if he got bad marks.

-And, of course, Harry is the new DADA teacher and Herms is the new Transfiguration teacher. I mean, it's a good decision, really. Not many people would have got O's on their NEWTs, right? It's not a bad idea to put the murderers of hundreds of people in a place full of children, right? It's not like it might be a conflict of interest, or a really retarded idea to make eighteen year old teachers, right? No?

-

Ahhhhh! Kill it! Kill it with fire!

-They write their own vows. Because, y'know, they're so in love.uke:

-Luna gets with Draco. Actually, it makes sense. Ron's dead, she can't mate with him instead of Hermione. And Ginny's probably whoring herself out in Knockturn Alley, because she doesn't show up in the story at all.

-Neville/Hannah, because male characters all need to be paired for life before Hogwarts graduation.

-

As baby names go, it's not so bad (I was suspecting it was going to be Ronald James, but then again I'm a fairly sadistic person). But it continues the fine trend of Potter children being a mix of their mother and father. I mean, it's not like recessive genes might come to the surface and give it blue eyes and blond hair, right?

-The final battle with Voldemort plays out like a bad RPG. "And on the first level they found trainee Death Eaters, and on the second level they found Junior Death Eaters, and on the third level they found Orcs, and on the fourth level..."

-Oh, did I mention Good!Draco for no reason whatsoever? His change in allegiances is only deemed worthy of one sentence of explanation:

One imagines Himmler walking up to Churchill and saying, "I'm a good guy, really..."

-Harry finds out his ancestry by buying a book at Flourish and Blotts. Yep, the author can't even be bothered with going the Knockturn Alley route. Speaking of which, Harry learns uber-cool(TM) dark magic by nicking books from the library. Good to know if I ever want to build my own atomic bomb.

-Evil!Seamus, cos' Ron's dead.

-"Hey Threstals! Take us to the Order's HQ, m'kay?"

-"Guess what Ron! I'm pregnant! And only two weeks after my parents were brutally murdered! I'm so happy!"

"That's great news Hermione! We're only 16, but that doesn't matter!"

"Of course it doesn't! It's not like I'll learn I'm the heir of Voldermort, and you'll try to kill our unborn child when you find out, right?"

"..."

 

What. The. Fuck?


I couldn't resist reading.

Dead people appear in dreams? Nice. But how about someone sensible to appear. How about James or Lily? Or even Sirius?

If you're going to do something to ensure that you fail at life, at least do it properly.

 

What the fuck kind of lock needs a maxima?

 

Voldemort's Dark Tower of Doom(TM), apparently.

Ugh. Anyone care to toss me another? I actually enjoyed ripping that to shreds.

 

Untold truths » reviews In his sixth year Harry will find out that there are more secrets then he could have ever imagined about his childhood and parentsComplete - Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 42 - Words: 63,451 - Reviews: 101 - Updated: 2-16-08 - Published: 1-29-08



Take this one. It's bad. Trust me.

 

Think I'll pass. (Edit: It isn't slash, so might look into it. And Ron isn't fucking Hermione. Hooray!)

As an addenudm, that pokegirl shit is fucked up. Doesn't seem too bad (I was reading this), until I got to the names:

I may be a complete social misanthrope, but at least I've never imagined, and later drawn and written myself having sex with half-Pokemon half-human lesbian hybrids. That shit is nasty, yo.