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The "awesomely bad" HP fanfics thread v4.0

Discussion in 'Fanfic Discussion' started by Master Slytherin, Dec 23, 2006.

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5/5, 2 votes
Page 8 of 15
  1. Bratling

    Bratling Professor

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    Mar 28, 2008 #141
    It's not slash, if that's any consolation. It's a Harry/Katie Bell. Different, in that at least. It's just... bad. Bad grammar, poorly written, terrible plot development...
     
  2. Jenkins

    Jenkins Forum Bike DLP Supporter

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    Mar 28, 2008 #142
    2. Double Oh » by Catherine or Cate reviews
    AU 16yr old Harry visibly returns to Magical Britain ... just wait for what is in store! HPGW HPNT HPOC SBOC Independent!Slytherin! Buttkicking! Harry. Attention: language! Don't like it Don't read it.
    Fiction Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 48,974 - Reviews: 79 - Updated: 3-28-08 - Published: 7-24-07


    If you wanna try this one Doc, get to the second scene. I read the first couple of lines and laughed my ass off.
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2008
  3. Bratling

    Bratling Professor

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    Mar 28, 2008 #143
    Cajun, here's one by the same author; notice any similarities in the summary? ;)

    Wreaking Havoc » by Catherine or Cate reviews Independent! Powerful! Buttkicking!Political!Rich!Harry Manipulative!Dumbles. SEE WHAT HARRY DOES! IT WILL GIVE DUMBLEDORE'S GREY HAIRS GREY HAIRS! Language Warning. THIS IS NOT HP/BZ - they are just the lead characters. HPGWFiction Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 14 - Words: 32,259 - Reviews: 282 - Updated: 3-28-08 - Published: 7-24-07
     
  4. Viper

    Viper Fourth Year

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    Mar 28, 2008 #144
    No. NOT awesome.

    Notice the author's name, though.

    A Crossover with Alvin and the Chipmunks!! I thought that I had seen everything. Guess, I was wrong.
     
  5. Seratin

    Seratin Proudmander –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    Mar 28, 2008 #145
    Lol, I checked out a pkegirl site and while it's not Harry Potter it still deserves to be raped. Harris Saga

    Oh and a little trip to their gallery gave me this...you dont want to see what they did with Tentacruel.

    EDIT BY NONJON: The picture wasn't *that* bad, but let's not tempt fate please.
     
  6. The Sour Kraut

    The Sour Kraut Seventh Year

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    Mar 30, 2008 #146
    Slytherina? Slytherian Prince?

    Instant Fail, I'd say, but let's check it out:

    Fangirl alert!
    Oh please...
    Self Insert alert!
    No, it wasn't.

    Okay, to cut this short:
    The "author" spends the first half of a chapter describing Harry, his sister, their friends, a bunch of Mary Sue's, their nicknames, pets, sexual preferences and whatnot.

    I gave up when it was revealed that the Girl Who Lived has the hots for Ron...
    :puke:
    But that's kinda understandable, as she is described as having no chest, no arse and could pick Malfoy of the ground with one hand. Shit, she is more masculine than canon!Harry ever was.

    Edit: And as a bonus, I present you one of the many (6) reviews:
    How about a "worst reviews" thread?
     
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2008
  7. Iztiak

    Iztiak Prisoner DLP Supporter

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    Mar 30, 2008 #147
    A worst reviews thread would quickly become overfilled with entries.

    Seriously, probably around 90% of all reviews on FF.net would qualify..
     
  8. The Doctor

    The Doctor Unspeakable

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    Mar 30, 2008 #148
    ...God, we have so many "worst of" threads, it's about time we made a sub-forum for them.:)
     
  9. yhelo

    yhelo Sixth Year

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    Mar 30, 2008 #149
    How can someone be competent enough to form sentences yet fail that hard? That is more definitely worthy of a facepalm.
     
  10. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran No. 4 Admin

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    Apr 7, 2008 #150
    Get a load of this. Using AFF is cheating, but I don't care. I have tons of lulzy-retarded stories from here, but I'd rather just link the retarded shitty ones.
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    Not very cool.

    You guys can read the rest if you like. I think it has three chapters.
     
  11. Banner

    Banner Dark Lady

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    Apr 7, 2008 #151
    * heads over to the liquor cabinet, not sure whether to drink the vodka or try to pour it directly in through the eyes *
     
  12. The Doctor

    The Doctor Unspeakable

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    Apr 7, 2008 #152
    SuicideKing seems to have a thing for Whore!Ginny.

    Wow. What a way to spend my 600th post.
     
  13. Oz

    Oz For Zombie. Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Apr 7, 2008 #153
    I think Banner probably looks like my avvy right about now. D8
     
  14. Verminard

    Verminard Seventh Year

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    Apr 7, 2008 #154
    What annoys me about these types is that Harry is always this teenaged superman who can effortlessly outfight, out think, and out fuck every adult around him. Usually with a smirk. I hate that fucking, "Harry smirked and with a jerk of his dick crushed Dumbledork's latest infantile plan" crap. Where is the tension and the conflict? Character growth?

    Fuck that. Only thing they usually do is make Harry have some sort of Japanese trait or having spent time in Japan, like this one below. He comes home and everyone faints (literally. Madame Bones and Kingsley Shacklebolt actually fall in a dead faint when he reveals himself from whatever the fuck Samurai ninja cloak he has one.



    Is polygamy totally necessary? Must Harry always have a few fuckbuddies?
     
  15. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran No. 4 Admin

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    Apr 15, 2008 #155
    Okay. This is pretty much a collection of the most fucked up shit mashed together into a gooey ball of fail. Furries. Slash. Pedo. Torture, from the looks of things. Fetish? No shit, sherlock. I couldn't figure that out already? It's a damn catboy story.
    [​IMG]

    Fuck this shit. Fuck it dead.

    From what I've skimmed, nothing actually happens yet. Only one chapter. I'm sure the author will add in a buttsex lemon sooner or later, though.

    Just reading the authors notes at the start nearly caused me to go on a killing spree.
    ...See what I mean about mashing shit together into a ball of gooey fail?
    ...No.

    Also, while I've seen stories around where Harry and his best boyfriend Draco are cats, I've never seen a fucking catboy story. Ever.
    You just know he's going to join the man-love sooner or later.
     
  16. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    May 28, 2008 #156
    Maybe not as bad as some, but I need a place to rant. Why is it that the few fics that actually have one of the rare pairings are mostly bad ones? I swear, this has to be the most random story ever. No actual quotes, but this is how I read the first chapter:


    Harry is angry at the Dursleys.

    "WTF!" says Harry, "I'm angry at the Dursleys, so I'll take my Grandfather's ol' Steyr SSG 69 sniper rifle and go to London, to do ... something."

    The train he's in is redirected to London-Gatwick.

    "WTF!" says Harry. "I wanted to go to London, and now I'm at the Airport. But let's have a look around."

    His name comes up in a bording call for a flight to Bucharest.

    "WTF!" says Harry. "I wanted to go to London, and now I'm at the Airport, and now my name comes up in a bording call for a flight to Bucharest. But let's take the flight."

    5 Minutes later he's there. Some more stuff happens, and another 5 minutes later, he's back at Knockturn Alley via Portkey.

    There he meets ... Daphne Greengrass! She's sitting "next to some bins outside a whorehouse" ... because. Well, she might be looking for her father, but it seems a strange place for that, considering he's the one who Harry spoke to in Bucharest 5 minutes earlier.

    Harry wants to go to Gringotts. He invites Daphne.

    "WTF!" says Daphne. "I'm sitting 'next to some bins outside a whorehouse' because, so lets go!"

    Harry wants to claim his inheritance.

    "WTF!" says Daphne. "I was sitting 'next to some bins outside a whorehouse' because, and now I'm at Gringotts, and you want to claim your inheritance, so lets claim mine as well."

    Harry wants to visit his vault.

    "WTF!" says Daphne. "I was sitting 'next to some bins outside a whorehouse' because, and now I'm at Gringotts, and claimed my inheritance and you want to visit your vault, so lets visit mine as well."

    They are in her vault, and Daphne points at a mirror.

    "WTF!" says Harry. "I wanted to go to London, and ended up in Bucharest instead and now I'm back, but I really have to say, I think magic is some form of light!"

    ...?

    Arrgh.
     
    Last edited: May 29, 2008
  17. Verminard

    Verminard Seventh Year

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    May 29, 2008 #157
    Your summation is better than the story.
     
  18. The Doctor

    The Doctor Unspeakable

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    Jun 13, 2008 #158
    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2675322/1/Too_Close_For_Comfort

    Can you, uh, spot the Sue?

    ...

    Maybe the ending can make things suck a little less?

    Ah, I love fanfiction.:)
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2008
  19. Xipheon

    Xipheon First Year

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    Jun 13, 2008 #159
    I feel so bad when I read the reviews of such a piece of shit :(
     
  20. Korisovra

    Korisovra Headmaster

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    Jun 13, 2008 #160
    I feel like gouging out my eyes now. Thanks....
     
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