Good chapter!
I really liked the part with the chessboard, but disliked the powerless Snape.
I'm REALLY longing 4 some confrontation between harry and the order.

 

Snape...well, i think i've made my opinions on Snape rather clear.

I don't see any instances in canon where he's particularly powerful, and since i don't like his character, i didn't want to make him out as a big deal.

He's a potions master, a skilled one, and that's about it. So what if he knew a lot of dark curses? Hogwarts doesn't teach any, so saying that he knew more than most sevent years doesn't really amount to much.

Anyways, i started writing chapter 5 last night. I'm hoping to finish it by this weekend, and post it by monday. It should be long, as usual...between 8,000-10,000 words. I've also got the update on my other fic coming along, but that will probably take another week.

See...that's the thing. I don't get writers block with Fury of the Hellspawn...it's easy as hell to keep coming up with things. With Chimera, i'm far more concerned with making it a quality effort. Most people that read Fury seem to forget that it isn't a "WIP" in the true sense...i'm not regularly woring on it, just fucking around when i feel like it. Of course, every time i sit down to type it, i get about 2-3000 words done, and i never (rarely, actually) delete any of what i type.

On the other hand, this chapter of Fury has better (in my opinion) writing than any of the previous ones.

Okay...one last thing. I would like to ask all of you for brutal truthfulness. If any of you think you would like to work with me by proofreading what i read and pointing out my fuckups, then i gladly look for your advice. I'd like to make this fic exceptional, and your help would allow me to increase the general quality a lot. Please PM me if you would like to help.

Time to run...i gotta get to class.

 

Finally got a chance to do more then briefly glance over this just now. Good job, when I've more time I'll expand on a few things, rather rushed like hell atm

 

Eh. Its good, I'm just not a big fan of the "Portrait master" thing. I never was. I don't like that JK included portraits in her book. Its too close to immortality. And while the person's soul dies, you can just chat and get advise from the portrait. For all intents, its the same thing as a live person who's bed bound.

I also don't like the whole thing with Harry being a metamorphmagus. It feels like its too many tools he has.


That said, I haven't finished reading, so take all of what I say with a grain of salt. Mayb you're able to make it work, and I'm overlooking that. Either way, good luck! KEEP IT UP!

 

Have you seen this sort of thing before? I've never seen a portrait master thing done this exact way...with the binding magical apprenticeship, the inheritance through adoption, etc.

I mean, i've seen the hundreds of fics wherer he learns from the portrait of Godric, but it's usually a summer-strikeout at suddenly Manip!Dumbles.

Well, in general terms, i guess you're right...it has been done before, but that's why i tried the variation. lus, it was a REALLY nagging plot bunny.

I'd like to hear your opinions on my fic...praise, brutal harshness, whatever. Writing better would definitely be a bonus, since i'd know what to avoid. That's why it's a good thing that the story is only 4 chaps in...there's easily another 150,000 words to go, where i can improve.

 

Admins and Mods: Sorry about the Double Post...i'll get rid of it later.

NOTE:

As of yesterday, my computer is broken. Something happened, involving adware, spybots, viruses and whatnot, and everything is gone now.

I had about 4,000 words of the update for Chimera done, but they're gone now. I lost 7,000 words of Incubus as well, 7,000 words that i REALLY liked. Dammit! The opnly good thing is that my flash-drive USB thing has a backup of the written chapters, except for the ones i was working on for this update.

So, i'm a bit pissed, and my laptop got sent off to a shop to get fixed. Now...i've borrowed a friend's laptop, so i've started again. Unfortunately, the update will take a while. I'll try my damndest to get it finished this weekend...since i don't know how long i'll accurately remember what i wrote the first time.

 

That really sucks. What is it with you guys and your stranf computers that always brakes :x It's always that you cant continue because somethings wrong with it :?

 

As i said...i haven't got a clue.

I will, however, try my damndest to get this chapter done by Monday at the latest. Remember, the last chap came out only about a week ago.

EDIT: Okay...i'm 95% done with rewriting this chapter. I have about 7,800 words done, and i'll send it to Zero tonight. Hope you like it.

I used a different way of writing for a large part of this chapter, so those of you who were looking forward to a long paragraphs might be a bit disappointed. This chapter happens in a series of actions, so it's something of a blow-by-blow commentary, in a way.

What i'm gonna do is wait for Zero's comments. If he thinks that this way of writing is crap, then i'll have to decide whether to rewrite it, or to post it and revert (like i had already planned to) to my former style of writing for the future chapters.

 

I love this story!!

I especially like that despite Harry having been training and hiding his true skills for a few years so is he not some super wizard. That is one of the problems I have with other stories like this, just because harry has trained in secret for a few years does not mean that he would have time to learn way more magic then people several times his age.

I also like that Tonks is not mearly some clumsy chick that got thru Auror Training only because her shapeshifting.

 

I hate making short posts like this, but I gotta ask. Any news on the update?

 

Well, i sent it to Zero and IP82 2 days ago.

Zero liked it, but IP pointed out a few rather large flaws that i'll have to correct.

Now, i have exams next week, finals, so i'll be studying for them as much as possible. Still, i'll try my best to fix and update it ASAP.

 

Any idea when the flaws will be corrected? I have taken to rereading the story while I wait for the next chapter

 

liked the story as a whole. thought it was a little much with morph ability but atleast he is not god-like. i mean the basic story is the classic underdog overcoming impossible odds to defeat the bad guy.
the shrine to harry in lestrange's room was great, a nice little sub rivalry, helps balance the story out because obviously he is gonna have some problems with dumbledore, the order, and his friends it will be nice for him to have personal enemies on the other side other than voldermort.
i did wonder about your timeline, you take quite a bit of canon in your story, and i thought you explained most of your deviations except for the dates you have for riddle in school, is there a reason for it somewhere down the plot, or just arbituary dates?

 

Yeah, Riddle's school dates were arbitrarily thrown in. I went with the premise that he's about 70, and then worked from there. I don't know when he graduated or anything, so meh.

BUT...i don't remember, but did the special services award say 1949 on it? For some reason, that date sticks in my mind.

I'm gonna try to update this weekend, people. Apologies for the wait. It's been a month.

 

well if i remember right he was head boy in 1945 so that would make his special services in 1943 or so, they make a point about him being a 5th year prefect when he framed hagrid. looking forward to your next update

 

Great story. So far exciting plot. Excellent choice in pairings. Can't wait for everyone to see the person he really is. That’s all I have got to say for now.

 

darn it when is the next chapter comming out?

 

This is looking like it will be one of those fics that when you do get an update you say 'I thought it was abandoned.' and wind up rereading the fic to rember what was happening.

 

Hee-Hee!!!

I mean, DAMN! You figured me out!

I swear, though...the update IS coming. I have someone reading it over now...Zero okayed it, and i took IP's points into consideration. Just a few days...stop moping.

I had exams and shit...i have a list of excuses, i swear.

 

I'm sure you do, just don't pull a kinsfire and up date a diffrent story every month.