Title: The Curse of Immortality (HP/Fairy Tail Xover)
Author: TeninChwang
Rating: M
Genre: Action/Adventure, Fantasy
Status: WIP
Library Category: The Alternates
Pairings: Natsu/Lisanna and Harry/Ezra
Summary: I never understood the fascination with immortality. I stumbled across it without even trying, and have since discovered countless ways to achieve it. The trick isn't living forever, no, the trick is becoming mortal once you realize how much of a curse it really is. Natsu/Lisanna, Harry/Ezra Powerful!Natsu, HPcanonmagic!Harry.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8300382/1/The_Curse_of_Immortality

This is my first time putting a story up for review, but I thought this one was worth it. The story features Harry in the Fairy Tail universe with HP universe magic. As of now, there are 4 chapters and a little over 21k words total. So far, each chapter has mostly served to introduce the protagonists since the author is putting a new logical spin on Natsu's, Lucy's, and Harry's character. I really like the new Natsu with his darker personality and Lucy comes off as amusing with her own character remodel. Harry doesn't actually show up till chapter 4, but I like the author's portrayal of him. He seems to be channeling a personality combination of Urahara and Isshin from Bleach. I also liked the sense of wonder his unique powers seem to generate with the one native to the Fairy Tail-verse he has interacted with so far in the story.

As for the actual plot, it is still a little unclear what direction the author is planning to take. The stuff involving Harry is new, while the content with Natsu and Lucy is following a spin on cannon with their tweaked personalities.

As a side note, this author's previous name used to be Fettucini, which was the name of the author of the old Harry Potter fic Knowledge is Power. I am unsure if they are the same person.

Overall, the writing is solid and it is cool to see Harry Potter crossed-over with Fairy Tail since so many FT Xovers seem to be with Naruto lately. It gets bonus points from me for being a somewhat original crossover and the most developed of its kind. This is definitely something I am keeping my eye on and looking forward to updates.

I give it a 4/5 with a possible boost later depending on how the plot develops.

 

I was going to bitch about misspellings, but then I realised how awesome that sounded. Are there many forms of cannon magic?

 

Sorry about that. I got to typing too fast. I'll edit that. Now I just feel fail at my first time putting a story up for review.

 

I saw this one when I was looking at stories aimlessly and was kinda relunctant to try it. But I'll give it a chance, whoknows.

Edit: Story's not bad so far, but it depends on how the conflicts are resolved. Harry is pretty old in this fic it seems and if he plays a major role in the story may be a little overpowered.

I liked the characterizations, while lucy seemed a little over the top. About the writing the guy needs a beta. Especially his descriptions are choppy and destroy the flow of the story other than that the story is pretty neat. But it all depends on how it goes.

On another note I think the story needs more meat on it to be considered library worthy. I'll give it 3.5(4)/5 with hopes that it'll prove itself in the future.

 

It's too early to submit this story.

So far, it's pretty much the standard introduction to Fairy Tail, albeit with a stronger focus on the Fairy Tail characters then I've seen in most crossovers. That said, even though there's been 4 chapters published so far, I've yet to find a plot in this story. Unless the author is just rehashing Fairy Tail canon. The story jumps from the perspective of one character to another far too often, which simply results in a slow story with no plot.

Harry isn't even introduced until the third chapter, leading to the impression that Harry was only introduced because the author wanted to write a Harry/Erza story. Add on to that some poor word selection that resulted in a segment where I didn't know if it was taking place currently or if it was a lengthy flashback, I find it hard to recommend this story.

Tentative 2.5/5

I can see it improving to 3/5 depending on if the author finds a plot, otherwise this story is going to drop down to 2/5. Which is a shame, because I certainly wouldn't mind reading a good story where there was a Harry/Erza pairing present.

 

It's a bit early. 21K words, and the story is only beginning. Furthermore, a HP/FT crossover recommended for the Library? Haven't seen that one before. I don't believe the author is that Fettucini. The story is written in a very different style.

Before HP was introduced, there was pretty much nothing interesting. A little bland, a little uninteresting. Natsu is apparently an S-rank mage, not sure if that's an error or not.

Pretty much the only thing worth reviewing is the interaction between Harry and Erza. In a word, meh. Harry's a little too... happy? Nice? He reminded me of Arthur Weasley running a shop. An immaturely written one. He tried not to blush when fitting Erza's breasts. He gave his super armor to her for free. He acts often like a teenager.

The story title and summary just annoy me. Curse? Whining about immortality? Pathetic.

Tentative 3/5.

 

This. Whenever I see any bitching about being immortal; all I can think is, "What a pussy."

Of course, Harry has apparently never seen a woman naked, since he is blushing like a 4th year. He might still be in his whiny phase. Oh wait; he didn't have one. 2/5 for competent technical writing and terrible characterization

 

Even putting aside the fact that this is much more a Fairy Tail story than a Harry Potter one, it's just plain bad. It reads like a 14-year-old's failed attempt at writing a serious story instead of a pseudo-masturbatory fanwank; emphasis on failed. The writing is bland, the characterization is bad, and the addition of Harry Potter seems like an extraneous afterthought. Maybe that will change later, but that doesn't really make it any better.

I give it a 2/5, and I can easily imagine this properly going down in flames in the near future.

 

Natsu is an complete asshole, and goes from goofy and fun-loving to the second coming of Gildarts the moment Lisanna dies. Seriously, Lisanna 'dies' in x782, canon starts in x784 and Natsu only just got back from a 2 year S-Rank mission. I call bullshit. Either someone's messing with the timeline or someone doesn't know the timeline.

Lucy is a whore. She's 17 years old and only just recently left the shelter of her home, yet she knows perfectly how to entice/seduce/fuck people to get exactly what she wants. Her character went from being somewhat comical to a complete slut in a single paragraph. Is she riding her Bull Summon, too? Wouldn't be surprised at this point.

Wendy was adopted by Harry somewhere pre-canon.

Harry is not only old and immortal, but a complete and utter child. The fact that there's so little maturity to be found in someone so old is just stupid and wrong. Aside from that, he feels like he was tacked on to the story just because, like some ploy to get more readers or something. Maybe I'm being unfair, but it really seems like he's only there to romance Erza and fix canon.

Which brings me to another point: this reeks of 'canon-fixing.' Which is dangerously close to fan-wank. And that's a bad place to be.

1.5/5 generously rounded to 2/5 for effort and a bit of creativity, but it's gonna hit some cliche speed-bump at 80mph and the whole bottom's gonna fall out.

 

Really not too much for me to say here that others haven't already stated. The massive OOCness of Natsu aside, add Harry's incredibly juvenile demeanour when he has supposedly lived for an immense amount of time and it looks quite unlikely for this story to escape the dregs. The title and summary don't particularly bode well for future chapters, either. Angsty Harry would seem to be what it suggests, but our only look into him so far has him being an incredibly cheerful bumbler, so the chances of him being some sort of outwardly cheerful and inwardly Wangsty Harry look quite high. And I think I speak for all of us when I say that that is precisely the sort of combination that should never, ever occur.

2.5 out of five, which is subject to change as it is quite young, but it doesn't look like it's going to get much better, if at all.

 

Canon fixing, really? Thats hilarious considering the author already explained the changes in the beginning.
Anyway liked the four chapters especially the description of Harry's magical shop. I'll need more chapters before I can properly review but so far this story gets a 4/5.

 

i like the story, it is well written and have some nice ideas. altough harry isn`t entering the story before chapter 4.
he is listed as a main character of the story, and i prefer to read stories that resolve around preferbly where new ideas and magic comes up in new directions to entertain us the readers.
i rate the story 2/5