Title: The Dark Kings
Author: Drakehouse
Rating: M (R)
Genre: Action/Adventure/Angst
Summary: Harry Potter. Draco Malfoy. Working together, things are going to change, weither the world can handle it or not.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2256314/1/

- - - Edit 07 Jul 2005 by Zevrillion - - -
Please read Posting Format - FanFiction Category before posting.

 

this is a interesting story

 

forgot to mention that yeah there are a few grammer errors, but I believe we can work around it.

 

The authors got good ideas, but it feels reallllllllllllllllllllllllllyyyy rushed, and the way some plot points are forced down your throat makes it hokey to try and buy.

Overall decent fic, but could use alot of polishing

 

*nods* i agree with mid .. though her/his Missing and Violet Serpant arent really too bad.. a bit better quality i think..

 

i couldn't read Missing, the way it was written just irked the hell out of me for some reason, probably the song lyrics jammed in there non stop.


Serpant, however, after reading the first chapter, sounds like a great idea for a story, and I agree, it IS a far superior writing style, compared to Dark Kings


My issues with Kings, is simply that it feels like he took random sentences written by a angry person and just tossed them in a tumbler and pasted them on the page, then scanned it, lol. (That and the problems with his aunts. Draco comes around to his side much too fast also)

This is what I hear in my mind reading the Albus/Harry talk:

"I hate you!"

"AH, tough, I'm gonna kill you"

"Are not"

"Are too"

"Are not"

"Dude I SO totally am"

 

I have to agree with the rest, after reading his other works the Dark Kings does seem rushed, but I do like the plot.

 

yeah... pretty much my thoughts... i think i stopped reading king after chapter 10 or something... some chapter with draco playing the piano or whatever...

buuuut yeah... missing.. an annoyance that the lyrics were there .. but it was good.. bit of spelling problem in both but apparently the author has a learning disorder so im willing to over look it if its true.. but then again it could just be an excuse and s/he is just a total idiot.. either way good.. but not tolkien or rice good.. just .. readable and likeable if youre into that stuff

 

song fics... or basically any fic with music in them are a pet peeve of mine so no reading Missing for me but Violet Serpent but my question is where in the nine hells is Sirius in all of this? I was expecting at least a mention of him

 

Well, what a complete waste of time

Incredibly short chapters. Check.

Poorly written Dumbledore confrontation. Check.

Stupid and unclear dream sequences. Check.

Annoying flashbacks. Check.

Most ridiculous backstory known to man. Check.

 

I agree. I thought the first couple chapters were promising, but instead of gradually improving, it sharply dropped in quality until I simply couldn't restrain my incredulity long enough to continue.

 

Violet Serpent is the only story this guy's done that's even remotely worth consideration. He also did some Harry/Cho fic where he joins Voldemort after the Department of Mysteries and she's mysteriously a Death Eater right from the start. Nevermind the fact that they killed Cedric and she wasn't anywhere near being over him in the fifth book. Oh yeah, and Ginny and Draco are Death Eaters also and they kneel and serve Harry right off the bat, as does Ron. Because Ron doesn't hate Slytherins and Death Eaters with a passion, no sir. This author has some good ideas, but they're ruined by the fact that his plots come off as very rushed.

 

One Word: clichè

 

Well then, that was currently interesting to read. And now when I look over it, it does seem rushed. Oh well, I admit not one of my better works, I was thinking of taking it down all together, seems like a good idea. Hmm well mistakes happen eh? :?

 

I just would have liked to have seen some explanation as to why Cho in particular would ever join Voldemort. I also think Draco would have been at least a bit reluctant to kneel before his most hated rival. Anyway, as I said, I do like Violet Serpent. I think the Harry/Cho fic had potential, and was a good idea, but needs probably a rewrite with some more work put into the setup for it to come across as workable.

 

Yea, I was thinking of getting that worked out in the next chapter. But it would seem it rubbed people the wrong way, the flash backs I mean. And I'm thinking of re-doing them all anyway. Once I find a beta for them. Most of my plots aren't as orginal as I once thought, so I'll need to look things over.

 

i say plan it out a bit better and it could be a lot better...and as may can see from my newest story... Betas help alot... almost everything i post is betaed by Spellchecker in Word 03 which while having grammer checking as well is still not the best... should prolly find one myself... ahh... and as i type now... a good keyboard... ive hit the B buttont at least ten dozen times on this one and it doesnt always work nor does holding down shift.... need one of those old 90LBS keyboards that clicked loud enough to heat a block away,,, those were good and durable against flying rages... i could drop the fucker off a 7 story building and only crack the case at most...(exageration but you get the point)

 

I know what you mean vasH i used to be able to take my rage out on those I remember the old 286 keyboards shit

 

Remember to take everything not on a personal level, as most of us here are brutally honest, and we'd lynch someone for a simple typo =)