Title: The Defeat of Voldemort
Author: Marj123
Rating: T
Genre: Drama/General
DLP Category: General
Pairing: Harry/Many
Status: Complete
Summary: Using the blood of another, in a potion or otherwise, can have unexpected magical consequences. Voldemort made a mistake when he attacked Harry Potter as a baby, and another when he used his blood in a potion to restore his body.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4920005/1/BOOK_1_The_Defeat_of_Voldemort



This story is a bit slow moving. However, despite the slow points I really enjoyed reading the twelve part series.

 

Another eleven parts after Voldemort is defeated? My expectations are low. I'll edit back later.

EDIT: Published: 03-12-09 - Updated: 03-13-09 - Complete -

Am I the only one seeing something off here?

EDIT 2: It's almost childishly written.

Lines like this are plentiful. Not terrible but in no way good enough to keep your attention for more than one chapter. Near the end I was skimming through paragraphs.

Features SummerJob!Harry and while it doesn't pay a large part in the story, it's just enough to be an annoyance. 2/5

 

Yeh i recognise these. The author pretty much flooded FF.net about 2 weeks back with 10 stories, all complete, all pretty much over 50k word count, Seratin's onto something. The fact that he flooded them all out at one time show's that he wont be listening to any constructive reviews and changing anything so meh...

I'll give it a serious gander and edit my review but i stand by that its highly doubtful it'll exceed a 3/5 rating. Especially if what the summeries say.

 

I don't see it ending well.

 

I don't see it beginning or reaching the middle well either.

 

I read the first chapter. I already know how to rate this. I-Want-Those-Ten-Minutes-Of-My-Life-Back!/5.

It is childishly written, the beginnings of characterizations are non-existent. And SummerJob!Harry annoyed me--no it didn't annoy is too much "praise" for it. SummerJob!Harry pissed me off. Why the hell would Harry, who knows he has cash in Gringotts say, "Hay...I'll get a summer job instead of going to the bank and converting some galleons to pounds."? Seriously. My 8 year old nephew could write better plot.

And if the summaries are anything to go by the sequels to this drek probably aren't much better.

 

I don't agree that it's childishly written, if by childish you mean very bland, dull and worst of all plodding then I suppose this could be childish. He's tried for rapid progression through time but it's so badly done it just reads like:

Weeks passed, things happened.

WOOT that was great, personally I was falling asleep here.

I was stunned at that sentence, it's just so bad, coming and going? Flashes of vivid fury? He possesses Voldemort WTF? These sorts of really bad sentences abound in this fic, which shows to me that he hasn't had it betad by someone competent nor has anyone else read it and commented. I can see this continuing through all the books.

Right I've read four chapters and it's not that the plot is dull, it's sufficient to keep me reading, it's the writing, it doesn't change, it doesn't evolve the same bad form continues throughout. This author needs to take everything down read some good fiction and fanfiction look at his own style and realise:



1/5 for taking an average plot and twisting it into something horrificly dull and then presenting it just as badly. This is why correct S&G means sweet fuck all.