Problems:

The whole a, b, c, d thing doesn't feel very good in terms of style, but I can't think of a way around it without scrapping the whole paragraph.

There's some words missing here:

Also, still in the dark about who knows that Harry is Amaris' father. She openly referred to him as her father to Amanda, and Amanda showed no surprise. I thought everyone was going to think they were cousins?

Otherwise it's a good segment, some good bonding/humourous moments in there. No Meciel though

Amanda/Amaris interaction is fun, especially as Amanda is expecting Amaris to identify more with her warm and fuzzy feelings than Harry's colder nature...

 

Taure: the 'Father' thing is fixed. I'm using the plot and I've yet to make the changes for the Cousin/Father thing. Basically, nobody knows except for Dumbledore and Fawkes.

 

Thank you!Thank you!Thank you!Thank you!Thank you!Thank you!

I was so tired of reading about Irish jokes and creationism in the other thread, I thank you again for posting the next chapter (well a part of it).

Anyway, very good from my limited point of view, I really like how you do the Father/Daughter relationship with Harry and Amaris, the scene was really amusing...

Edit : on another point, is Amaris a Changeling ? Did she already choose her side ? or was it that because Harry is Immortal that she is Fae ?

 

Wait, I don't get it, does Amanda know that Amaris is Harry's daughter?

EDIT: Oh, now I see.

 

LOL... that was so fucking lulz. What a creepy little bitch that Amaris is. I nearly had to replace a keyboard when I read that.

 

Excellent work Shezza, that was entertaining as hell and am eagerly awaiting more.

My only complaint would be the a) b) c) in the second paragraph but as Taure said it would be difficult to find a way around that.

 

I somehow sense Amanda's involvement in future attempts to refine Amaris's social skills. And that leads to either Harry/Amanda, incest, or lesbian pedophilia.

 

Could become:

It loses something in terms of content, but feels better in terms of style, IMO.

 

Harry/Amaris interaction was very entertaining to read. Although I was very disturbed by the fact that Maeve lets Amaris watch her "sporting". Amaris trying to copy her mother's "affectionate ways" on Harry was funny, and is very disturbing, in it's own way.

Amanda/Amaris is humorous, and full of win, especially if this ends up with Amaris somehow killing Amanda. The only thing which I didn't like is the lack of Meciel. I wanted to see her reaction to some of what Amaris revealed about her mother's incestuous/voyeuristic fetishes.

 

I agree with philly. It feels like Meciel should of atleast commented during aprt of it.

 

Is there some sort of conspiracy to turn everyone in the world incestuous(sp)? We all know Vash has been trying but now he's using the most powerful force known to man, the Denerian series. Resistance is futile guys, they win.

On another note, I agree that the lack of Meciel was slightly confusing, I was expecting a joke about Harry enjoying the nibbling or something. Apart from that and a few grammar mistakes it was perfect.

 

I don't have a problem with Meciel's inactivity in this chapter, I rather think she left Harry to his own devices because in the long run it would be better for him to come to terms with his fatherhood without help from others.

Also, Amaris is awesome and full of win.

Now go and churn out some more pages. Do it nao.

 

Enjoyed this chapter very much. Would appreciate an Amaris omake

Also, I'll second what Taure said. It reads much better with the list written out.

 

AHAHAHA!

Excellent piece of work Shezza. I'm loving the Harry/Amaris scenes. Another brilliant chapter.

 

An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scotsman walked in a bar...

All jokes aside this chapter was very good. I somewhat resent the Harry/Amanda undertones, but they seem to please a large part of the population, so I presume it is working.;

Amaris does not annoy me and I must congratulate you on introducing a daughter in Harry Potter fanfiction that does not fail. The fact that children should be seen and not heard definitely apply to Amaris. I noticed the subtle part about Amaris chosing between sidhe and human. The immortal choice seems plain to me, although I am looking forward to what and how it will be made. A mortal one might be disappointing, but I will restrain from making predictions, since you managed to make even Harry's daughter amazing.

 

I liked Harry going crazy. He should do that more often.

 

Once again a very good scene, always a good interaction Harry/Amaris, a little bit of Meciel, violence on innocent and Harry/Amanda undertones... You know how to satisfy your public Shezza.

 

i agree with this guy. the lack of meciel was prob bcz he needs to figure out his own way to deal with his daughter sometimes.



that amaris nibblying on harry's ear was so completely unexpected which just made it all the funnier i actually had to go reread it a 2nd time bcz my brain didnt process it happening the first time cuz it was just so random lol.

 

What? Proper spelling and grammar is appreciated, "bcz" will never be a proper replacement for because, shape up or ship the fuck out.

Brilliant chapter Shezza. The Harry/Amaris interaction was very amusing. A couple of grammar mistakes but nothing that Oz cant fix. Cant wait for more!