Harry will change soon enough. Be patient. Shezza's been alluding to change this whole story.

It will probably come down to Amaris' choice, whether she forsakes Harry or embraces him; or whatever happens to Meciel and Amanda... should any of these characters die or leave him for some action directly related to his immaturity, he will undoubtedly change for the better.

 

I'm still interested in seeing Meciel taken from Harry, and then Denarian Lord be about Harry's violent struggle to win her back. Heh.

Or Amaris is taken from him and is hurt, or mutilated in some fashion. It'd be a hell of a shock to the reader. And to Harry. Sometimes Meciel seems to be more human and emotional than Harry, especially regarding Amaris. It's curious watching Meciel be Harry's role model.

Yak.

 

Harry is unrestrained. Without something to hold him back, he will destroy himself sooner or later.

 

Destroy himself, yes. But it would be an enflamed, gore-filled self-destruction, with piles of impaled corpses and...Though it would bring the story to an end it would be thoroughly enjoyable to read.

 

I wouldn't call him completely unrestrained. There are several beings that he is in regular contact with who are more powerful than he: Dumbledore, Meave, Meciel, Fawkes, Voldemort and Vesper.

 

I gonna say that as dumb as he may seem, that Harry knows exactly what he is doing and has a reason for doing what he is doing. No one, no matter how strong, survives what he has without having a little bit of intelligents, yes he has Merciel, but that only goes so far.

 

We love you Shezza.

 

This says it all, seriously, you deserve a theme song.

 

Bitchium Slapatius That made my day

 

You sort of have the home language advantage, what with that silly little extra u you people stick in everything.

You definitely win on the reliability front, considering I've been AWOL for a while now.

I haven't been doing much in the way of betaing lately and I haven't posted here from my own computer in weeks due to computer issues, power issues (ice storms, what can you do), and internet problems (I can connect at 16kbps after auto-retrying for an indeterminate amount of time, then I get disconnected after a few minutes).

Also, my digital camera's CCD just died. I assume it's the CCD since everything on the camera works except for the whole taking pictures part of the equation. Ahem.

I'm just hoping all of the data on my pc is where I left it (I'd hate to have to find a resurrection stone to use on Sim-Luna and her buddies).

2008 is riding me pretty hard, so far.
Fan fiction makes it a bit easier to take though. Keep up the good work Shezza (and OZ).

Oh, and thanks for the vote of confidence from everyone who associates me with competent editing. Hehe.

 

Warlocke! We is missing you

 

Shezza, people here have been complaining since DR?

 

Oh, not necessarily here. I get a lot of reviews on FF.Net saying that Harry's attitude pisses them off. I like them, actually, it means I'm doing my job well.

 

Okay, I knew that if this kinda of stuff bothers you, then you probably didnt need to be here and need to stay far far far far far away, like star wars far far away, from anything with Vashs name on it.

 

Dranco, Dranco, Dranco. Don't you know? Vash is MY bitch now

 

Interestingly I have never had any real problems with Harry's attitude. Most of the time I just find it amusing. And there are times when he is shown to be more mature and even kind so its not like he is just one-dimensional caricature or anything. He can and has shown that he can act differently when the situation demands it.

Anyway, I liked this part on the whole. Nothing exactly major or plot-shattering happened but it was your usual amusing and enjoyable quality.

One thing that did occur to me is Harry's use of "Bitchium Slapatius". I figured from the name that its a spell Harry invented himself? Meciel did say in some earlier chapter that soon she would be able to invent spells for Harry to use. I wonder if it might be worth it to clarify that this spell was one as such? Would add a nice bit of continuity and maybe show how cool Harry/Meciel combo is. I mean if SNAPE managed to make his own spells...

Not much more to say, except ofcourse that I am looking forward to the next chapter as usual!

 

While still entertaining, I have to admit feeling that the writing style has devolved somewhat into a less mature form. The use of numbering in the first part and the parentheses in this one are examples.

Things like "Katie somebody" make the text overly conversational, even for an action-based, plot driven story like DK. You could have done better with something more along the lines of:

And my last gripe - Meciel seems to be doing too much for Harry in terms of thinking. What does that say about Harry if he can't even remember the name of a person he meets every day?

Not only that, but if it was Meciel who remembered, she wouldn't forget the last name.

 

Harry's attitude has never pissed me off, since I know he is not a one dimensional character. He is an immature asshole when he wants to be (alright most of the time), but when the situation calls for it Harry can act pretty mature, and even be compassionate. For example, the scene with the kid on Christmas. We know he is more than capable of affection, when he displays it for Meciel, and to some degree Amaris now.

I'm delighted to hear that you won't be changing Harry's ways completely. I know eventually you are going to change him, but it is nice to hear that the core of the character will remain the same. It just shows how complex of a character he is, he can be marures, and still act like he has before. This Harry is such a contrast to the mature Harry from Resistance of Azkaban, that it is a testament of your ability to write.

Like I said earlier, Harry can change his attitude when the situation requires it from him. Let's look at the Umbridge situation as an example. We know Harry hates her (quite an understatement), but he keeps his emotions in check when he has to speak to her. If he really was that immature (as some of you like to think) would he able to keep his emotions in check. The answer is no. Harry acts like an immature asshole, but he can also be a cunning bastard when he needs to be.