I wouldn't really factor Bella into it too much. She was present in the Dumbledore vs. Voldemort duel in canon, and Dumbledore dealt with her pretty quickly and easily then.

 

Yes, but now he have two opponents to look after. Trickier.

 

Neville deserved is moment of glory and maybe he will get one here, too.
We can get the body counter high if the Ministry worker appear before the end of the battle, maybe the Wizarding World will need a new Minister...

 

But also an ally worth his salt.

 

Even if someone will take the coin a second after Harry left, he will still be weak. Moody will most probably be able to handle someone like that.

 

Awesomeness. I want more. Great chapter, etc. etc. etc. A little deja vous going on there (chapter 31 randomly turned into 29...who knows how that could have happened....) Looking forward to more.

Cheers, mate. 5/5

 

Great interaction between Bella and Harry. A great build up to the utter destruction those 4 can create. You have me on the edge of my seat for the next chapter.

 

ALL BOW BEFORE THE GREATNESS THAT IS SHEZZA!!!


This is bigger than David and Goliath. Ali and Fraiser. Giants and Patriots. Bigger than everything EXCEPT the Alabama and Auburn game but its closer to that than anything else.


Finally, the battle where we get to see Shezza's Dumbledore do some damage.

I highly doubt that Bella and Neville will factor into this battle besides Dumbledore might have to look after him a lil since we all know Harry just doesnt give a shit.

 

Doesn't matter. He still needs to be careful from two people.

 

Doubt it. Harry can keep Vesper occupied enough that she won't be able to do anything to Dumbledore.

 

I think that the question is more along the lines of 'Can Vesper keep alive to keep him away from Voldemort?' Or at least thats the vibe I have from what I remember of their last encounter.

 

Yeah the question is can Vesper survive to help Voldemort.

Now we just need Shezza to keep his insane update rate going.

 

This is beta for the first part. Feel free to ignore whatever you want in it.

Death Eaters

I looked this up because I've seen it used both ways and it's been bugging me. The way you have it here, it's read as separate clauses... so lower case 'she.'

drop the comma

Death Eaters

This sentence sounds a little wordy to me. I'd drop the stuff in green.

lower case

missing period and quotation mark

Repetitive wording. I would drop the second 'for the most part' and combine the two sentences. --> Amanda for her part, limped her way with them, and it seemed to be working.

Comma before 'and.'

with a sudden

Odd wording here... Maybe something like 'ran into a black-painted door.'

If it's supposed to be one clause, lower case.

Comfortably

Comma before 'and.'

Lower case.

I would drop 'too.'

I would change this to 'tumble.'

Death Eaters

Lower case.

I think this is supposed to be 'can', but I'm not sure.

Lower case.

Death Eaters'

Lower case.

than a cripple

Drop the comma.

hung

Replace the comma with a colon.

Lower case.

at a dark

Death Eaters

Tense change... 'Teared' and 'laughed.'

LOL. Ginny is a man? 'She.'

Change the ' to a " and change the 'the' to lower case.

Lower case.

Lower case?

I'm going to stop here with the capitalization shit 'cause it's taking too long, but hopefully you know what to change.

Death Eater’s direction.

It


Cool chapter Sheeza. I'll read the rest later, but I'm loving the action so far.

 

Chapter 32 is up.

 

Uhm, I think your chapter numbers are off a bit here. The post directly above 'chapter 32' was titled as 'chapter 29'.

 

That's the best fanfic I've ever read! It's a shame I won't be able to buy paper version.

 

Great climax.

One suggestion: add a few more sentences at the end after the duel. A few more comments from Ministry workers/Fudge before Harry leaves.

I'm sure others will do the spelling/grammar check.

I'm not sure how I felt about the banter bit at the beginning. One the one hand, it's amusing. On the other hand, I'm not sure how much of a place tongue-in-cheek humour has in a time like that. "Your turn" and all that. I did like how Harry started the fight in the middle of Voldemort's turn though. It's a very Harry thing to do.

Perhaps to make the banter a bit more realistic, you could make mention to how they're using that time to gather their power and focus for the fight ahead, and have only half a mind on the actual banter, which is all stalling tactics.

 

Shouldn't*

Doesn't*

This is really starting to piss me off.

Also, your corrections suck.

What you mean is:

"It was a testament to her power that she was able to stand up in her condition."

 

Smashing. The fights were great as usual.

Don't know about the banter stuff at the beginning of the battle...though it was just like Harry to try and treat the thing as a joke of sorts. Also wouldn't it make sense for Harry to need Dumbledore's help rather than the other way round? Unless Voldemort is a lot more powerful than Vesper of course.