Cool chapter. Not much else to say about it. Action is nice but there is rarely much to comment about it.

I did appreciate the whole "insta-kill" thing and Harry's reaction to it. That was rather amusing.

Looking forward to the next one.

 

QFT. I actually read this story more for filler chapters than anything, I'm more interested in character development than action. And your Harry's witty/bratty lines are full of win, but everyone and their mother already said that anyway.

Now that the action part is over, hopefully next will be plot and maybe Amaris' comeback, please ?

Good stuff, killing her with the AK, btw. I lol'd :awesome

 

Heh, I remember that when I read DR & DK first time I actually skimmed battle scenes to read "fillers" (not that they were bad, just the storyline was that great). I still hope for Harry/Meciel ship before this quadrilogy ends.

 

The man speaks the truth. Divine, absolute truth at that. And I don't mean the vodka.

The latest instalment was great although I had expected more brutality from Harry towards his new servant. He seemed to let her get off easily, bringing a memory of Dumbledore forgiving anyone wishing to serve him. Still, it's his first servant, so probably could not scare her off completely.

Eagerly awaiting the next chapter...

 

minutes

Verrine's

Neither
Unless I misunderstood the whole sentence.

It's great to see another update, especially containing something else than battle scenes.
Already can't wait for more.

 

God, the ending was hilarious. Excellent work!

 

I like God's way of saying "hurry the fuck up."

 

Great, even if short, update.

I might be wrong, but she was being rescued by Harry, not from him.

 

The rest of the chapter has been uploaded. A grammar and spell check in the next eight hours would be much appreicated, so I can upload it when I wake up tomorrow morning.

 

hahaha, Shezza. Are all the Carpenter children just whipping girls for your Harry?

I was laughing through out. Hope is spunky and just enough child-like to be a believable 12 year old. Her interaction with Harry was really funny. She does sound more like Charity than Amanda or Molly did. Charity seems to have calmed down where Harry is concerned.

Also, Charity holding hands and breaking bones...me-ow.

 

I really disliked Harry's talk about there being other ways of paying. It didn't sound very joking.

It just seemed really low and base of Harry to do that Charity, the wife of his friend Michael. To anyone else I can see, but just not Chairty, even if he does lust after her from time to time. I think he has realized by now that she's strictly off limits.

It's one thing if he was just kidding around, but to me Harry seemed serious and it seemed out of character, even for him.

 

That was hilarious, "There are other ways of paying." I swear this fic just gets better every time I read it.

 

Great update, already can't wait for next.

green - needs to be added
red - needs to be removed

It seemed exactly like Harry. And I'm pretty sure that every time when he made such an offer he was serious.

Besides, I doubt Harry would call Michael, or anybody for that matter, a friend. Maybe he could count Amanda and Dumbledore as friends but Michael is just an ally.

 

That. Harry has limits and this is one of them.

 

From the fact that it just happened, clearly that isn't one of them.

What you mean to say is that you think that Harry coming on to Charity should be one of them, which is a point of view - one I happen to disagree with.

 

I believe I said something like this when we were first discussing this idea Shezza. But then again, i've always disliked overtly sexual humor such as that. Dunno why, that whole thought just makes me uncomfortable.

Either way, really enjoyed it. Loved Hope's characterization, but then again, was there any doubt?

"I believe this belongs to you?" was probably my favorite line in that one.

Actually, to add a bit more, I think the initial fight with the 3 captors of Hope needed a bit more taunting. They need to feel the utter hopelessness and desperation of their situation!

 

"Daddy"
"Yes sweetie"
"Your friend is a complete nut job"

Dont know why but this just set me off. I didnt stop laughing for a for minutes

Otherwise nice update.


Michael Knight of the Cross as Harry's friend. Allow me to laugh a few more minutes. At most he has a respect for Michael and Sanya because they are nearly as good as him at killiing when they must. Harry has no limits.

 

Quote for truth. Those times that people will quote as Harry doing good are not from any perceived moral duty or any such normative code of action. It is merely coincidental that Harry's actions happen to align with actions that we would usually describe as good. He is not acting because it's the right thing to do, he acts because that's the way he wants to act. Sometimes that happens to be the good thing. It can just as easily be an evil act. He is wholly unpredictable.

 

Part one

Denarius' nefarious

recognized

smile

she said (lower case)

she

Verrine's face

Change the comma to a period.

I would remove 'other' as you said Melissa was blond.

repeat

LOL. :awesome

God

Neither

with hers

tuned

becoming

The last bit sounds a bit awkward to me.

Needs a space between roof and dropped.

detached?


Part two

I would remove 'as well' and add a semicolon.

Repetitive wording.

recognized

lower case

Comma after tunnels and change 'his' to 'him'.

than they really are

Change the period to a question mark.

lower case

as he batted

portkeys

looking at

in the sky

Repetitive. Maybe change the first face to presence, and drop the 's' on expression.

its

crying

daughter's

do

down with

girl's eyes

Exclamation point? And that line is so funny xD

Remove the quotation mark.

lower case

space needed

 

Nice to see a new chapter. It has been a while. Hopefully you are back in the mood and the next one wont take so long?

I liked the latest chapter. Like N said, it was funny and "light". The start you posted while back was hilarious. Look's like God has a sense of humour. Harry saving another of the Carpenter children was equally amusing, as was the way Hope was written. She seemed very believable and spunky with the way she acted. I wonder if Amanda will learn what Harry did here and how she will react.

The action scene was interesting. Though it seemed that Harry was playing a bit what with the use of the "golem?" and the word. I doubt these guys needed such complex methods. Still it does fit Harry's mindset to play with his prey and it made the action more interesting than Harry just crushing them instantly so I thought that was good.

Charity is her usual bitchy self. Harry did just save the life of her daughter. Breaking his arm in retaliation even if its just a mild inconvenience to Harry seemed like a rather harsh thing to do. Especially in front of her daughter. I kinda hope Harry will eventually come up with some amusing retaliation.

All in all a great and fun chapter that I enjoyed reading. Now give us more!
Please?

I must say I did not see Harry's behaviour as any more twisted than normal. He is always going around flirting and propositioning to everyone and I did not see this as any more serious. I mean how is this any more serious from when Harry saved Amanda in the ministry and then asked to see her breasts as a reward. Or his constant sexual comments to Tonks.

I mean I never got the impression that he was really serious about this. He has had contact with Charity before and she would know that he acts like that all the time. The fact that he did not strike back or otherwise retaliate even after Charity broke his hand and the fact that he did not repeat his request for money/sex after the joke had gotten stale further suggested to me that he was just being his usual smartarse self here.