Man. Long-arse essay is so long that I'm not going to bother addressing all of the points, except this one.

Um...yes. Yes he does. That puts a close to that one. The Harry in the Denarian Trilogy can tell if you're lying. I can put in a few theories, like some small part of Meciel's conciousness seeping into the victim and monitoring his brain- not enough to read thoughts, but enough to tell a lie. Frankly, it doesn't matter. It's magic. It really doesn't need to follow what we know of lie-detection methods and polygraphs and all that crap.

Harry can tell if you're instantly lying as long as he's touching you and focussing on it. So the author has decreed, so shall it be.


Now, for the other parts. To be honest, I skimmed them. I just woke up, all groggy like, and not really in the mood to read large blocks of texts. Reading my username and password for Windows 7 beta was a strain enough. I'll sum up my main points in these following dot points:

• Harry chose torture because he's a sadistic prick who likes seeing the suffering of others, especially those who are his enemies.
• Any excuses he gave was to ward off Tonks. He probably doesn't believe them himself and just wanted to get onto it. RE: Sadistic Prick
• Dumbledore allowed Harry to do things his way for a number of reasons. One of them was to keep Harry 'satisfied' and in the loop, since he'll be useful in the future. There are other reasons, but they've been debated/countered before
• Magic is magic. Harry can tell if people are lying due to magic. Hence, it works. End of story on that one
• Maybe some guy was tortured in real life x years ago and never broke or whatever, hereby proving y's theory on how physical torture blah blah blah. Once again, Harry's using magic AND the Death Eater wasn't as strong as that particular guy, spilled his guts and then met a bloody death after he had told Harry everything he knew
  

I'm leaving everything else as it stands. Politics, morals, ethics, recruitment, whatever. Dumbledore's morals do play a significant part in the next few chapters, but we'll wait for that.

Essay aside, you sound like you've got a personal investment in this topic. Academic?

EDIT: Just saw this part:

Suppose the story that Dumbledore was butt-buddies with Grindelwald got out? . That said, I think you underestimate how powerful Dumbledore's influence is in HBP. He'd just been proven right about Voldemort and etc. A few 'rumours'- because that would all that it would be- wouldn't hurt his credibility even that bad.

Edit 2: Don't bring real-life examples and interrogaters and all that into this. I sincerely doubt any of them had a wand or a Fallen Angel living in their heads. This is a fiction story that's based around magic. You should stick to magical facts.

Edit 3: Do we really care anymore? I know I don't. That torture scene is the only one (sorta) in the story- at least, I think so. It was meant to show how Harry is willing to get his hands dirty and do all the things the Order can't and generally be a complete bad arse and etc. etc. etc.

To be kinda blunt- get over it. It's done, I'm not going back to change it and I think I'm right (Well, I know considering it is my story. Author's perrogative and all that crap) You think you're right.

Nobody wil win over this internet.

 

I find it amusing when people find logical faults in a story about witches and wizards who fly on broomsticks and wave magic wands. Tis magic, nuff said.

 

Considering this place is home to some of the hardest to please people in Harry Potter fanfiction and most of the more picky people have no problems with it. That should tell you something.

 

I feel I should state that in POA I think Fudge says that the only way to get to Azkaban is by broom, but never mind. It's not really all that important, and it would require the entire chapter be rewritten to change just to maintain a trivial fact.

 

Ragon if you are as much of an idiotic imbecile as this post suggest, why are you still posting?

 

New scene is out, guys. I kinda got away with me as one scene became the greatest Meciel-focussed chapter I've ever written. Some detailed feedback with be great, since it pretty much defines her charcater- if you squint past the lines.

 

By far the greatest scene/chapter of the series. Wow... just wow!

 

No - this latest one trumps the previous scene like a royal flush trumps a 10 high hand. Fucking awesome.

 

Is case the right word?

Either I miss something, or you just said Meciel is a blonde.

Dementors'

It either didn't make sense or was logical.

love

Fantastic update. More than fantastic, I just lack words to express how great it is. I hope you know there's no turning back from Harry/Meciel pairing now.

Oh, and please use default font,

 

As KrazQ mentioned, default font would be nice.

Also, KrazQ: Meciel's host was blonde at that time.

cast

I was confused for a moment, until I realised there needs to be a blank between Imperius and shot.

in a strange sort of way

Can he see that the hand is warm? He can't, after all, feel it, as you point out shortly thereafter.

Only one wizard, and drool dripping down her eyelid is rather strange, so I guess you mean lip.

I don't know which is correct, capitalisation after the exclamation mark or not. You have no capitalisation most of the time, so...

incredibily hard/difficult/challenging

whose

should be questioning, though I would prefer seeking

three effodios

don't want to

Whereever, it was cold

were

Not sure about this, but I would lose the at.

As he watched them impaling Meciel on their blades

were

Dementors'

Either as afraid as or more afraid than

have

Dementors'

in a wave

did not

visitors'

in her own

This somewhat contradicts the statements that the Void is an absence of everything, and feeling cold is still a feeling. Better would be "Hot was better than the total absence of anything within the Void" or something like that.

affection and love

 

It'd be the ultimate irony if the "power he knows not" in this fic actually does turn out to be love: the love between Meciel and Harry.

That said, I'm also a massive fan of Amanda/Harry. There should at least be a kiss Lol.

 

@World: This one is correct according to me. It would be a mistake if it was about the Death Eater but Harry is the one who is laughing.

Great update.

 

Ah, true. I did misinterpret that.

 

Perhaps so, but it is a bit awkward. I'd suggest:

It changes things around somewhat, making the portion between the commas into a modifier for defences instead of whatever it was before, but it's much less awkward. Well, somewhat less awkward, at least.

Narion

 

I was expecting Amanda to appear at Harry's side during his encounter with the dementors. A hallucination of his own or the dementor's doing.

Though I wasn't disappointed by what actually happened, Meciel could use some more focus, since she's only talking to Harry, and it's hard to really get a grasp on her character based just on that.

 

I tried to put it back in regular font but there are tags on every sentence. So I just upped the font size, easier reading that way.

On to the story.

A very good sequence, with a lot of complexity. One of these scenes I have enjoyed most in the whole series. Going from Harry's memories to Meciel's memories was very interesting and well done.

There were a bunch of obvious hints about Meciel's past in this. It is nice foreshadowing for all the reveals coming up.

I particularly liked the angels' duel. Further comments in PM.

 

Amazing. The imagery was so clear and well thought out that it became easy to become immersed in the story, to feel fear, awe, and at the end, tired. Very few authors can make you feel as though the story is real, like you're really there, and even harder to do it in third person. Once again Shezza, truly remarkable.

 

I'm with Taure on this one. See sig.

Shezza, I think everyone else has pretty much covered it for me. That was truly amazing, a real pleasure to read.

After a scene like that, I don't think any fic will ever beat this in all of fanfiction, for me at least. Hell, that goes for real books too.

 

Shezza, after the latest update, I now proclaim thee to be the God of Dresden fics. And I must regretffully ask for MOAR!!!!

 

Now that I reread chapter on ff.net there are still some things that could be corrected.

My nick is KrzaQ

Shouldn't it be "breasts"?

While it's not so apparent in your series, we all know how much Tonks likes being called by her first name. If it's required for records or something Mr. Williamson should be called by name too.

wizard

I think I've seen someone report this before, lack of space.

Paragraph splitting line in wrong place. Uh, it doesn't show here. Anyhow, it should be before "They knew it[...]", not "It felt like nothing[...]".

there

hoods

Harry's what?

to

smiled

@World: yeah, I missed that part