Probably because it's "uncool"...

 

Gotta agree with Sree on the "daddy" thing, I know a lot of girls and even grown women who still say that.

That chapter was great, with the exception of the kiss between Harry and Amanda. As predictable as it was, this still annoyed me for some reason.

I am also confused about who the Knight of the Cross is. Shezza told us before that Meciel was, and that was supposed to be the only reason Amanda could even use it in the first place. Then he contradicted that by making Harry unable to use it after reuniting with Meciel. What gives?

Obligatory demands for MOAR.

 

For some reason I remember the exact moment that I decided to stop calling my parents either 'mummy' or 'daddy'. I was in the old family home, in the pantry looking for a band aid to put of my tongue that I had just bit or cut, or something. (I had a thing for band aids.)

These days I usually call my mum Dog, I also call my dog Human, or Crazy Pauline, and my dad either Old Man or The Father Figure (Remember Uncle Buck?). But I have a weird relationship with both of them, so you can't really count on my opinion.

On topic. I'm kind of hoping that Amanda stays the Knight of the Cross, but only because I'm all about Girl Power. Also can't wait to read the Original Story Shezz, aka My Lord and Master, is writing. Have heard a lot about it.

 

I have to say, I got that exact same ominous feeling from the chapter.

I've actually kept myself ignorant of the upcoming events, at the moment, so I personally predict that Shezza will not kill him here. But I could be wrong!

 

Nice! Feels like ages since it's been updated. But at least Harry is going to be able to get some revenge. I still really want him to kill Amaris. If not for revenge then to 'clean' up his mess...lol.

Also does anyone else think a nice little WORD black hole spell would work wonders? It'd grow and grow and destroy Maeve's whole castle and area and the Wizards and Harry could apparate out or just leave.

 

Harry's not a Knight anymore (if he ever was, that is) and doesn't have access to Sword's soulfire to empower the black hole.

 

Hey guys. I've changed the last scene somewhat, to add in a fight scene after Ellisande pointed out that sending just three goblins was stupid and to clear up the Knight buisness. I also cleared up the "Amanda knowing Amaris" thing as well. The new scene is up. I've put in all the adjusted grammar changes, so if you can find anything else I'd be very appreciative. I'd like to post this on FF.Net in 10 hours- morning for me- so if anybody sees anything could you put it in here by then?

Cheers guys. Thanks for your feedback.

 

Couple things jumped out at me...

She can't really draw him into a hug physically..but I know what you mean, and it sounds a bit off.

Who hacked at the fae with amateurish skill? Amanda or Harry?
If Amanda, maybe something like "she lifted her sword and hacked at the fae as Harry drew back his wings.."

A lifetime of reuniting and embracing? Sounds a bit weird right?
Maybe change it to something about how it:

"felt like it had been a life time since he had felt Meciels' embrace"

or if you have to keep the embracing bit:

"The embrace lasted only seconds, but to Harry it could have been a lifetime" etc

Nothing really wrong with this, it just sounds corny as hell and it doesnt leave much room for doubt concerning Amandas Knighthood.

Suggestion: Staggering under the weight of his weakened body, Harry's movements were slow, lacking his usual finesse.

Possibly this instead: "turning he frowned as he.."



Just suggestions of course And not really grammar .. besides one of the above.. but yeah they bugged me when I read it.

 

I liked the new scene better, although while I could see Harry kissing Amanda in previous one, I can't really imagine them kissing in fumes now.

 

Both scenes are fine, though it's more clear in the second one that the Sword has chosen Amanda.

 

To be honest, I preferred the original scene. Personally I had no opinion understanding that Amanda had become the new Knight, but the main issue was that Harry's first fight since regaining his freedom felt a bit... Anti-climactic.

Maybe if there was a slight break between his regaining the Denarius and the fight so that he could regain his wand, he could then battle the High Sidhe in the manner we've come to expect from Harry (showy and bad ass as hell) rather than just stabbing the guy with his wings.

Still, its a minor niggle when considering how awesome it was to have an update, and how mother-fucking awesome the update was.

I read this on my phone disturbing the other Underground passenger with my enormous grin.

 

The order of the events bothers me a little. It doesn't feel right to me; I would have switched the kissing part before the part where Harry try to take the Sword. Or even get dressed.

And the kissing would seem even more realistic since he'd do it during the "rush" of happiness.

Excellent chapter (or scene), and I'm looking forward to see more of Dumbledore's fight with Maeve, and even more Meciel's revenge (which may very well mean the total annihilation of the Winter Court).

 

I think this revised version is spiffy - especially with Amanda and Harry fighting to kill the fae.

I had two concerns however:

1. When Harry states that he's never been happier to see Amanda, or that he's never seen anyone so beautiful when she first appears - I would think Meciel would hold both of those positions. I'm just under the impression that even though I'm a total Amanda fanboy - to Harry no one will ever be able to trump Meciel.

2. "She was barely away when he stopped and grinned down at her with manically twinkling eyes." - 4th paragraph from the bottom

I think 'away' should be 'aware'. Away just seems awkward to me.


Other than those two items - this was awesome. Now just don't kill Amanda off!

 

Aaah, but Kensington, at that point, Amanda IS meciel. Also, she is just rescuing him from torture he had never known before, im pretty sure he can be the happiest he has been to see her. Beauty, not sure if im gonna dwell on that one.

 

I thought you were an Amanda fanboy?

And timing seems wrong like Inky said. Unless his mind is a little... off at the time or if Meciel had a part to play.

 

Could you clarify how Amanda is Meciel at that point? He had both his wand and coin back at the moment of the kiss.

 

Really? Thats just me misremembering the scene then. My bad.

 

I can not at the moment say anything other than how giddy this update makes me. It's not a usual emotion for me either.

 

The reason why Harry said that to Amanda was because she brought Meciel back to him. I think you're analysing it too much. It's a figure of speech to show his gratitude towards her, not a categorical proposition.

Like when my house mate brings me tea in the morning sometimes and I declare that I've never loved anyone more... it's an exaggeration.