Pure win as usual. Its a nice change of pace from the hack and slash of previous chapters.

That's not say that the hack and slash wasn't awesome though .

I can't help but feel sorry for Amanda. Every teenagers worst nightmare and then some.

Obligatory roar for MOAR.

 

I was laughing my ass of the entire time:awesome

Hehe. Lucky Number Slevin reference?

 

shocked

Is it correct phrasing? It's first time I've ever seen such and I expected "this is entirely your fault".

worst

It seems I'm the only one who was a little let down by this update. The humor was apparently lost on me, bar the small penis line, the situation seemed overly dramatic, Carpenters came to Hogwarts surprisingly quickly considering that nothing permanent happened to their daughter and sister, and Harry's method of escape was funny only first time (chapter 10).

Ah, I would've forgot the missing wand. Seriously, first Amaris is retarded enough to leave his wand, sword and coin in the apartment, and now Harry somehow loses his wand during the night. Doesn't seem at all plausible for me.

That said, I'm excited that there was an update at all and can't wait for more.

 

As usual perfect. Obligatory: MOAR MOAR MOAR !!!

 

I object - the aftermath of the sex scene was many times longer than the sex scene itself!

Funny chapter though. The tone felt just right for this stage of the fic - the calm between two storms. Harry apparently not caring too much about not having his wand (I presume Michael took it?) was a bit off though.

Harry unarmed facing a knight adds a tension to the scene which isn't in line with its lighthearted tone. Did you do this intentionally? I mean, when I read it it seems clear that the "Harry unarmed and naked facing a knight whose daughter he slept with" is meant to be not taken entirely seriously as a threat or potentially violent situation, but not having his wand needlessly complicates things. IMO you should just let him have it from the start or get it back.

I forget - has Harry done any wandless magic in this fic? Like a wandless summoning charm to get his wand back? I can't remember any. I guess he could use True magic to get it back, or do a variant on his wand disintegration-reintegration trick.

One idea: after Amanda wakes up, Harry's like "where's my wand?" again and Amanda blushes and is like "Er... I have it" and reaches under the covers and comes back with his wand in her hand. Makes us - and the Carpenters - wonder what crazy sex magic Harry and Amanda have been using.

 

It wasn't a "LOL SO FUNNEH" type of nonjon-scene, but I did find myself chuckling a few times and grinning stupidly at the absurdity of it all. Harry getting with Amanda was also a plus. >.>

Nice update. Write Moar. Hai.

Edit: Also, what Taure said. I was expecting something like that to occur, but it never did. The wand pulling thing.

 

MMmm I don't know Shezza, I think it's a little rushed, but it's OK. You're such a tease though, not giving us any details.

Some glaring errors:

recently I've been second guessing myself on when one should use the subjunctive... but would it make better sense to use were, here? It's not usually paid much attention to in English... but I think were sounds better.

didn't

do you mean closet-homosexual?

 

Taure, Michael aint gonna kill Harry. It is just something I can't see him doing. So I don't think Harry had too much to worryabout.

Also, Shezza, as I told you yesterday, the update was excellent, really well done. Looking forward to the rest of the chapter as always.

 

I enjoyed reading the chapter at the time, but the more I think about it the more it bothers me. The main thing is that Micheal's actions don't make sense.

At the beginning of the scene Micheal is standing beside the bed. Either he was shocked, or wanted to scare the living day lights out of Harry and Amanda. OK.

Harry was a little too slow to catch on, and Meciel should've noticed well before him and warned him. Then again, he wasn't in danger and Meciel needs to get her amusement some how. OK.

At this point, one might expect Micheal to offer them a chance to get decent. Maybe he doesn't want Harry to run. OK.

Then Chairty and the kids show up. And the children come in. Maybe Micheal is planning to use this as an opportunity to make an example of Harry/Amanda but while they're naked? This bothers me.

And then Micheal falls for Harry saying that Nicodemus is at the window (EDIT: Sorry, bed curtains)? Um...

It's not that this is bad, but it doesn't seem up to your standards, especially for such a long awaited scene (that is, Harry/Amanda).

 

An amusing chapter and a nice change from all the angst. I do agree with some of the others that it was a bit odd that Harry lost his wand. I realise that you tried to make Harry vulnerable to Michael by leaving him unarmed, but after everything thats happened, having Harry just lose his wand somewhere like that was rather off to me.

It made sense in some of the earlier hospital scenes where Harry was actually unconscious, but here he was walking and went to the hospital wing of his own free will. What, did he just randomly give his wand to Dumbledore for safekeeping? Or are we supposed to think that Dumbledore snuck in while Harry&Amanda were having sex and nicked the wand while they were distracted? Harry not having a Wand makes very little sense here!

As for Michael, there was never any real threat from him without having him act totally out-of-character. Sure he might think that Amanda could do better, but he is hardly going to murder Harry in cold blood. Thats just not in his nature so the style of the scene would not be changed all that much if Harry had a wand. Sanya too seems progressive enough not to be overly upset about sex that was obviously fully consentual.

Hopefully Harry used protection this time and did not get Amanda pregnant.

MORE!

 

Michael could have taken the wand.

 

You know, I admit I did not notice it myself, but now that lucis has pointed it out I must admit there is a problem.

It is totally and utterly bizarre that Michael would just stand there, on the edge of the bed, looking at his naked daughter and his naked boyfriend. I mean what-the-hell? Thats a massive invasion of privacy, not to mention rather obscene for a father to do. Especially someone thats shown to be generally understanding and compassionate like Michael.

I think it might work better if instead of standing there when Harry wakes up, Michael would walk into the room to check on his health shortly after Harry wakes and then discovers Amanda and is shocked.

And yeh, Nicodemus is a lame diversion since he is quite dead. Maybe Harry could use Voldemort instead? Have him grasp his scar in pain and point out Voldemort behind Michael. Much more believable that Voldemort might come after Harry while he is recovering. If you take my earlier advice and give Harry his wand, have him create an actual illusion of Voldemort. That would make it easier to accept that Michael would fall for this enough to be distracted.


Veri: I don't think so. Meciel might find it amusing to have a knight there, but I doubt that would extend far enough to let him take away Harry's wand. If Michael came too close Meciel should wake Harry up, just in case Michael really had gone mad. I think it would just work better if Harry had his wand.

 

OMG Michael and Harry are lovers and Harry slept with his daughter! No wonder he's pissed.

 

Someone should write an omake of that

Seriously I think that Taure's idea about the wand is the most humorous for this scene.

 

Canon Michael didn't seem to be really pissed by Molly's behavior. He was saddened by it. I don't see how would it be different in Amanda's case.

 

Took me a moment to figure this out. So I make the occasional mistake with a language thats not my own. So sue me!

 

Hm... It also seems odd that no one brought up the possibility of Amanda being pregnant. Then again, maybe Harry just ran off too fast...


EDIT:

This is different that Molly though:

Worse:
He knows she had sex.
She had sex with a Denarian.
She picked up a coin < 24 hours ago.
He walked in on her.
He hasn't had time to calm down.

Better:
He knows that there were extenuating circumstances.
She is a knight of the cross.
The coin she picked up was a knight of the cross.
Harry, while a Denarian, did get rid of the other Denarians, and has acted as a generally good if impolite human being.

EDIT 2: Not saying I disagree with you, though. I think Micheal would just be disappointed. Charity is another matter....

 

Even if Amanda were preggers, Harry would likely just punch her in the gut or something. It's not like Harry would actually let a Knight of the Cross have his child.

I wonder if Dumbledore will have Harry's wand. It seems like it would make for a good humour scene, Harry asking old man Dumbledore for his wand back.

 

Um... Sorry?

Just to clarify, are you saying harry would punch pregnant!Amanda in the abdomen until the fetus was killed?

Somehow, I don't think so... Maybe you missed the previous chapter?

You know, where Harry spared his child even though she had tortured him?

Given that, I don't think he'll be performing forced violent abortions on the basis that the child could be a threat to him because the mother (who is head-over-heals in love with him and lectured Amaris on her betrayal) might use the child as a weapon against him.

 

@Pregnant Amanda - I got humorous mental picture of Meciel taking over Harry's body and acting like some kind of crazy doting grandmother, after the child would be born.