I have to say that Im enjoying the "freshness" of this story. I am a little upset that we will have to wait so long for an update, but se le vie. It does seem a little rushed, and I like the raw magic portion. You have me interested and I will await your next update.
10ded

 

Hail,
Raw magic written from a different perspective and I must say in the immortal words of Ron bloody brilliant. Harry has come to a place where he realized that people die in wars and he is probably going to have to kill that’s a right step in the right direction; he is going to have to kill after all.

I like the ‘new magical system’ that you are portraying and would recommend that you talk to some of the esteem authors on this site to get some ideas. Constructive criticism can be the key to an excellent product (fan fic). Even though you have made some mistakes (some scenes appear to be rushed no flow, plot holes) I like your fic and hope that you will strive to be better.

One question: The Dark Lord Voldemort has over fifty years of experience, knowledge, and rituals on Harry how do you plan on preparing Harry for facing this monster?

Don’t put yourself in a situation where there is a whole generation of HP fans that is vex with you like how they are with JKR you will notice that many fans isn’t please with how she has treated HP.

 

[QUOTE Pug]

I like the ‘new magical system’ that you are portraying and would recommend that you talk to some of the esteem authors on this site to get some ideas. Constructive criticism can be the key to an excellent product (fan fic). Even though you have made some mistakes (some scenes appear to be rushed no flow, plot holes) I like your fic and hope that you will strive to be better.

QUOTE]

wow what a dramatic post. Anyways, if you go back and read through the thread you will realize that everyone here is giving him constructive criticism.

 

The raw magic concept was nice. Though, I disagree with many people about Dawlish. It's true Dumbledore did make Dawlish seem like an idiot in OoTP but come on, that's Dumbledore we're talking about!

Compared to normal aurors, I believe Dawlish would be slightly better since he seems to be escorting high officials like the Minister and Umbridge.

Anyway, it's pretty nice and I'll be looking forward to an update.

 

to be a sycophant requires neither power nor skill only a judicious use of lies and sucking up.

anyway i liked the concept of this story, but in all honesty the execution is not that great. Dwalish is a strange choice for the messenger, but what really bugs me is that harry changes too much in only a quite short time.