Daphne and Harry becoming friends so quickly confuses me. After speaking with one another for around about two hours, Harry considers her a wonderful person, and they are embracing and laughing along as if they've been friends for years and not a couple hours. It may be me, but it takes a little longer than that to get that friendly with someone.

Besides that I don't have anything significant to add. It is written well, no doubt about that. It is a fun read for a lazy afternoon, not a deep and meaning fic. If you're the right mood, I believe most can enjoy it.

3/5 - good enough to read, but not enough to warrant being recommended to all.

 

depends on the situation. One of them openend up to me simply because i was at the right place at the right time and i didn't try some cheesy line immediatly.
Beside like it or not, Harry does have a reputation and unlike Malfoy's his isn't all bad.
Considering how she is being treated by Malfoy it might be that she simply decides to give Harry a chance because he is the polar opposite. Besides she didn't decide to teach Harry because she is such a nice person, as she said she was hoping for some dirt on him.

Anyway, not sure why i am now defending the story, since as i said he writes too fluffy for me (and this story is already fluffy ) but it isn't the root of all evil either as some posts imply.

 

This sounds alot like Marriage Contracts, only without the lulzy 'let's bullshit Dumbledore and watch him fall for it every time.'

 

Except that "Marriage Contracts" was vaguely entertaining.

 

Meh, I liked it. I thought that her not being a cold, frigid bitch was somewhat refreshing. I also found that the Occlumency idea was a good excuse for people thinking she was an 'Ice Queen.'

I'd give the chapter a 3.5/5. Not much better than your scores, as it really wasn't anything new or great, but maybe enough to let it jump between recycle bin and library a bit before some mod actually decides where to put it.

 

Meh

Meh. It wasn't bad. There were no particular biggie problems beside the cliches. I was happy when he didnt fully turn towards his best friends.

I like the pairing and hope to see more of it. But this is on the cusp of a recycle bin-only because it was somewhat short and there wasn't a real end. It left the end open-which I can see as a good teaser or just the point of the fic. To open the future.

3/5 for the story, but again, it wasn't a bad story. If there was a oneshot encyclopedia out there this would defenitly find a place on it.

 

We have a new chapter. I'll edit later with my thoughts on it.

EDIT: For what it is, it is pretty decent. The story sticks to the relationship between Harry and Daphne, and while the developing relationship seems odd and happening so quickly without complication does bug me a bit, it isn't enough to ruin the experience.

I maintain my earlier rating. 3/5. It isn't good enough to be library worthy considering other romance fics, but is good enough to stay in the recycle bin.

 

the chapter is better in some ways, it takes place over a large timeperiod (about 2 months) and is well written. You can see the relationship develop and deepen.
One thing i want to state clearly is that i am pleasantly surprised that he doesn't rehash the entire book. Instead he skips large amounts of the book and focuses on the relationship between harry and daphne.

Since this is supposed to be the halfway point i'll give my rating now.
I'd give it a 4/5 for a Romance fic. It's definitly on the fluffy side, but it is technically well written and well plotted.

@Godessa: this is supposed to be 4 chapters long, not a one-shot

 

Well, it wasn't that bad, there are some things I didn't like, but it was enjoyable.

However there is still something I'm asking myself: Why didn't Harry look for the Dark Mark when he saved Daphne? and what happened to the possible marriage contract that her parents were looking into?

Note: I know its possible that changing the way he dresses changes the way he sees himself, maybe he should try wearing pants over the trousers to see if he behaves like a fucking man.

 

no, she isn't a bad girl. i don't think kb0 could write a bad girl if he tried....

 

Fucking original. I've also cut up this piece of dialogue:

Ok, so the beginning (chapter 1 and part of 2) is poor, with several cringe-worthy passages, and nothing to really like. I thought midway through chapter 2 the dialogue was a lot better, less hugs, Harry being less of an idiot etc, and that helps water down the fluff a bit. The story isn't drawn out, and after starting with a lot of cliches, I found that others I came to expect weren't there. For example, I was expecting epic fail for the clothes bit, but it was spitefully kept under reign.

Taure's is a fair point; even though "Slytherin Ice Queen" is a huge cliche, it's not done in a stereotypical way: she's calculating without being cold.

Also, Brits don't hug, certainly not when they've known each other for three days. I'm not even sure Americans do as much as in chapter 1.

3.5/5 if you can get past the first chapter, which the second makes worthwhile.

 

Yeah that part made me face palm.. Harry was being very tardish..

 

Entertaining at best. It seems everybody has already covered the basics, so I won't throw a rant.

It gets a 3 out of 5 from me.

 

I actually thought the second chapter was more disappointing than the first. It's like reading one of William Gibson's later books--the writing is solid, the pretext for the story is legit, but I keep turning pages wondering when it will get good.

I was set up to like this story since I enjoy reading this pairing and, though he ships H/G, it's fair to say that some of kb0's stuff in the past has been decent. Sadly, I don't see much real change happening to Harry in this one. Sure, he dresses better, he's no longer pining after Gingin, and he's not quite as apt to fly off the handle, but that's largely superficial--his only real growth is what he'd have picked up learning Occlumency from anyone. He's basically the same guy halfway through, just now a guy with a largely silly "forbidden love" secret.

The whole point (not to mention fun) of Harry/Slytherin pairings is that her wiles contribute to turning Harry darker and more ruthless and that tension arises involving Harry's knowing in his head and soul that he's changing, yet he's not able to betray his heart. His former friends disliking what he's become and opposing the match naturally arises. That Harry in this story can so convincingly keep a secret after all this time indicates that he's not really undergone any substantive change.

Even Jeconais, not known for his deep Harry characterizations, managed arcs for Harry's growth in WKGQ and Perfect Situations (two Harry/Slytherin pairings). Daphne in this story isn't quite bad enough to make much of a dent on him, nor does she have far to go herself.

Perhaps chapter 3 will get better, but I'm starting to lose hope after the last one.

 

H/Daphne has to be one of my favorite pairings but this was rubbish, Harry was a pansy and Daphne was all wrong imo... plus the 'ice queen' title just pisses me off, and pisses me off even more when she not even a bitch.

 

I almost hung it up at "Ice Queen" ... I mean who is the Ice Queen, I thought it was Girl!Blaise, or was it Pansy. Apparently there are Ice Queen's to go around ... I want to be the Ice Queen.

Then I almost hung it up at "sorrier" ... is that actually a word?

"Harry! He Mind-raped you!" Wow - that is such a great idea ... I've never heard of that one. The thing I loved about it was that she "barely contained her fury" --sweet.

"Become the sameness." -- Is this another made up word? And if not, what the hell does it mean? I need to pick up a dictionary sometime.

Okay ... I quit 2/3 in the first chapter. Of course the Greengrass family is neutral.

I'm just waiting for Harry to open up his multi-compartmental trunk and whip out his time turner and everything will be just peachy. It is cliche hell, and not even well done cliche hell.

Please go read nuhuh's newest at PC if you want to read well done cliche.

Fail. Fail. Fail. 1/5

 

I haven't even read this, I just wanted to say that Heather's signature gives me funny feelings in my special place... (you know: down *there*)