Author: Cupspeaker
Title: The jigsaw killer
Description: Harry was unfairly sent to Azkaban. But his prison term is over and he is out for revenge. One day he sees the movie Saw and decides to immmitate it. He becomes the jigsaw killer.
Rating: M
Genre: Action/Adventure/Horror
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2966047/1/

My story. Idea from Conarth. Saw/Harry Potter crossover. Please Read and review.

 

The summary seems weak. I don't know how interestingly, so I can't help you there. I've yet to read the story, because I am currently writing two essays.

 

Yeah, the summary was pretty weak, but otherwise it was decently made, though you could have specified it was in first person. And you mentioned that Luna was the only person who would actually talk to him but didn't elaborate on it...

 

meh, it is a little plot hole about Luna. She is not really important to the story. I changed the summary a bit. Now i will work on second chapter. Anyone have any good ideas about traps I could use for Saw!Harry?

 

Err.. that's the whole point of this fic. If you haven't figured that out, why are you even writting it (or at least, why did you start posting it)?

 

I do have some ideas for traps. I was just asking if you guys had any good ones.

 

You are stuck inside a cylynder chamber that acts as a oven. once he wakes up, and stands up, he will undo the chain on his feet which triggers the "welcome, you dont know me, but i know u" stuff. He has 30 minutes before the oven burns him up, and he is layered with some oil or grease. he has to climb a exremely hot pole that is sharp like broken glass in the middle. There is a key on the top, but it has fire all around it. and there is no way down, unless you jump, or go down the pole again, which would be a bitch to go down again.

I dreamt i was in that one (well set up that one)

or

Ron has a key somehow stitched into his chest, and the only too get it is a dull butter knife. If he doesn't get the key in 5 minutes, he dies somehow that is disturbing.

 

Nice. What about Ron being hanged from his leg from a piece of rope attached to a wall. When he wakes up he tries to move and that gets his body swinging. Only there are giant spikes at the end. There is a sword stuck upright on the floor. He has to somehow pull it out to cut the rope so he can land on the floor and crawl out of a little hole that leads to a sewer that leads to the outside world. When the rope starts moving the video will trigger which is on the ceiling.

 

he can grab onto the giant spikes, and there is no motivation of speed.

He needs to literaly do EVERYTHING he can, to live... or he dies

 

The traps could somehow be tied to what is important to them. I remember that in the beginning of Saw II the guy had to cut open his eye which was somehow important to him as he used it to spy on people or some such thing.

So if you define what is most important to the person (for example, for a pureblood his wand arm would be very important as his ability to do magic is what seperates him from the muggles. Hermione would probably value her eyes as she needs them to read. Someone vain as, say Narcissa Malfoy, could for example be trapped in a device that I heard at some time mentioned, where she would have to press her pretty face against a hot grill in order to escape. Could be changed to any part of the body though.

€dit: On the topic of eating, he could eat slugs that are injected with a antidote to the horrible, horrible posion cursing through his veines.

 

Ron should be forced to eat giant amounts of some disgusting food to reach a key or something...

 

Why not add in that chinese torture joke Have one of the characters like malfoy or ron bound to a iron wall by their nuts. there is a pole is 3 meters away. On the very top of pole lies a key out of the room hes in. he cannot actually get the key unless he rips himself from the wall. He has 5 minutes to decide and act before the wall behind him begins to heat up, eventually reaching 100 C and slow cooking him alive.

2nd thing place a poison that causes extreme lust in one of the members' drinks. IE. RON and Hermione are in a room. Ron's been poisoned and attempts to rape hermione. She restrains him and sees the note on the table, She has to either have full intercourse with him or he will be driven insane and die. If she does agree, the poison is in turn transfered to her, and the same concept applies back and forth until one dies. Then the door to the room will open up.

 

Cupspeaker...

If you want a good trap for Ron, think about this: His worst fear is Spiders... (bring it to life...)

If you want a good trap for Herm, think about this: She loves to use her eyes... (yet only the Blind can truly see...)

If you want a good trap for Malfoy, think about this: He values blood above all else... (how much blood will he shed to stay alive...)

If you want a good trap for Voldemort, think about this: He fears death... (yet to live he must die...)

If you want a good trap for GinSlut, think about this: Her crush on Harry. She may be the last; shatter her dreams... (reveal the Truth of the One who is the Jigsaw...)

 

Yeah, i have to agree. The ideas were there, but everything came together in such a passe manner that it seemed like some monotonus radio was saying everything.

And time passed WAAAAAY to quick. If he's gonna go and exact his revenge on people, you have to rewrite the story.

As it is, all that happened was that his friends avoided him. He went to Azkaban, but managed to beat the Dementor effect after a while.

What's SO terrible that he's gonna torture his ex-friends?

Make it so that Azkaban drove him mad for revenge, and make it so that he DIDN'T beat the Dementor effect...that it was agony for five whole years. Make the Dementors at a distance where they weren't close enough for him to pass out or go mad, but close enough to corrupt his thoughts and put him in agony.

And Dumbledore...that was a wtf moment. Give some reason why he was so...uncaring about the whole Prophecy. He wouldn't send Harry to Azkaban unless he knew for DAMN sure that Neville was the one. Perhaps you can say that Trelawney interpreted the prophecy and said that any of the TWO people born at the end of July could kill Voldemort, but it would be easier for the one who was marked.

Meh...it needs some changes. Good luck, though, it is a nice idea. Saw was a crazy movie.

 

Harry must be affected by dementors. Then he would be crazy enough to do this tourture-fest. I have finally read it, and I agree with Lord Ravenclaw. It seems weak. You should give it a strong base for the story to do well.

 

Hmm. I could put a skit where Dumbledore talks to.... Snape about Potter and comes to a descision, or he could talk to somebody wise and they both could come to the desision that Harry will be influenced by the dark side and be the next dark lord. Then they would focus on Neville or something.

How about his friends say stuff *against* him in the trial so he goes to Azkaban. And instead of simply ignoring him maybe the call him evil and shit, and spread rumors or something.

Azkaban drove him mad for revenge. Good one. I think I will use that one. Basically I will rewrite the entire chapter/story to include all those things. Maybe I will have harry get the letter on sep 9th and trial on 14th so he will have five days to prepare his case. And I can write a chap for each day. ..

 

I think it would be better to have him go crazy and take unjustified revenge. I have a feeling pretty much every reason for vilifying Harry has been used before and has never been all that good.
And what do you want to tell in those five chapters? The way he brushed his teeth? Focus on whats important, no need to hear of Harry's evening wank.

 

Alright, thanks guys. I will rewrite the chapter and I will post it in this thread to see what you guys think of it. Then I will post it on ff.net.

 

Good lord I hope not. FF.Net is already a festering cesspool of horrible stories such as this. Third graders write better stories than "The jigsaw killer" which isn't even properly capitalized. You're an insult real authors everywhere. And before I forget...

AVADA KEDAVRA!