Title: The Key to Summer
Author: belleradh
Rating: T
Genre: Action/Adventure
DLP Category: Independent Harry, I think
Pairing: author says none
Status: COMPLETE
Summary: The revelations ending Harry's fifth year do not sit well with the young wizard. Inheritances and a choice give Harry the freedom to become what he must, but does he even know what that is? Help from an unexpected source will be his Key to Summer. AU/novel
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4380340/1/Harry_Potter_and_the_Key_to_Summer

Title: Fall of Innocence
Status: WIP
Summary: Sequel to Key to Summer, and detailing Harry's adventures abroad with Nymphadora Tonks, in Salem. Hoping to take matters into his own hands, Harry leaves on a journey to not only broaden his horizons, but views on magic and the world as well. AU, year 6
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4847995/1/Fall_of_Innocence

Well here's my first recommendation that I didn't write myself. I looked and googled, but didn't see this anywhere, and it's pretty new, so here you go.

I liked this one, so far (I only finished the first chapter, but wasn't turned off). There are some ideas taken from other prominent works - Summer of Change by lorddwar was even mentioned as inspiration in the AN - but the writing is solid, and the story has so far been enjoyable.

Cliches are present, but so far they're well used.

On the downside, the writing and the dialogue mix together, making the dialogue seem...mechanical, and out of place. Harry doesn't really speak much better than with a Cockney accent in canon, but here he's kinda sesquipedalian. It can get a little tedious.

One interesting thing that I don't think I'd seen in a post-OotP - not necessarily a great thing, but drew my attention - was that Sirius' knife wasn't totally destroyed in the DoM, just one blade was ruined. Like I said, it isn't a brilliant development, but made me go, "huh...", and makes me kinda want to reread it to see if that isn't unreasonable.

4/5 from me, so give it a try.

 

I don't now what to make of it; the writings not bad but:

- Twelve seats at the Wizengamot
- Ragnok lord Goblin it seems.
- Tonks unspeakable (I love Tonks; but she's not unspeakable material, they are scientists an researchers not a formidable squad of assassins)
- Dumbledore obliviation and Tonks being able to overcome it somewhat via plans

I think some of the parts are to far out, but it's just been a quick read for me. Someone really needs to do an actual unspeakable!researcher fic.

 

I enjoyed reading what the author has posted to date. Up to chapter 7 atm.

This is definitely a diamond in the rut, actually it seems the quality of some of the newer fics are actually rising. Or maybe not...

Anyway, a great story that shows great promise. The fact that the author already has plans for this to become a trilogy of story's show that it has a good chance of actually getting complete sometime this century.

Cliches? Sure, what story these days doesn't have at least one? I find that the author has done a decent job with them.

Another thing to those that might not read the story because of the bit about the butterbeer, keep reading. Not all is how it seems...

I find this Dumbledore interesting, it might take another reading. But from what I can tell, something prevents him from actually doing something outright. Sorry for the confusion that last bit might seem, but I really don't want to ruin the story for someone...

I'll give it a confident, tentative 4/5. Oxymoron's are win...

*edit*
Only 6 chapters have been posted...

 

Yeah, I finished this one now, so let me do a bit more of a review.

There are way more cliches in later chapters than even in the beginning of the story, which detract from it a bit. The Unspeakable part is kinda weird; Tonks and Harry aren't Unspeakables, but are on friendly terms with them or something, and stay with them for a while.

Yeah, the Goblin thing is the standard one, which is way overdone, and that's unfortunate.

The over-the-top manipulative Dumbledore also put me off. I hate it when fics have his manipulations be just terribly obvious. Yes, its canonical that he was more than a bit manipulative, even, as Snape says, culling Harry like a lamb for the slaughter. But the overuse and abuse in fanfics really pisses me off more than a bit. He's still overall a pretty decent guy, if mistaken about a few things, and his heart generally is in the right place.

The Wizengamot thing was kinda eyebrow-raising, too, I agree with Mirkwood. I'm sure that will be taken advantage of where Harry receives uber!Political powerz.

Down to a 3/5 from me. Decent, but not quite library material.

 

This is probably all we'll get while the best authors here on DLP rest their keyboards, at least in the classic Independent!Harry arena.

There are certainly quite a lot of clichés in here, but the author manages to make them fit almost flawlessly in the narrative. The Two-Dimensional take on the Weasleys I expected for a while was not present, which was a relief. The mystery and intrigue about the family business kept me from skimming the Adoption sequence.

I'll round this to a 4, the quality of the writing balanced out wandless magic and super-wand in my book.

 

Well written but a bit slow, cliffy ending....

Hope updates come quickly.

 

Not bad. It's at least 3-star material and could go up or down depending on later chapters, so it's worthy of being considered.

I'll withhold from rating it until later.

While there are some cliches, one thing I noticed that wasn't a cliche was the Blacks starting off as blacksmiths. I don't remember seeing that used before. I hope this part gets developed further.

 

I don't really know about this fic... It's well written, realistic enough that you're not left with a gaping WTF in the middle of reading, and small twists on some well used cliches.

However, there's nothing special for this story. Around 70,000 words into it, I'm liking it, but still looking for the real kick. Where's the real distinction for it? While there are some original concepts, like knothead mentioned, the blacksmith part, the overall plot is something we've all seen before.

If you're driveling through a lot of crap, and looking for a fic to pass the time, this is worth giving a try.

For now, I'll give it a 3.

 

I agree, Sesc, the argument in the reviews has me put off quite a bit. I think someone went into such a tangent as to actually question my capability of caring for, or right to have a child. Later, they did retract and amend the statement... but still. People arguing in reviews really just makes me put off reading them, or bothering to notice. After a point, it's all useless noise it seems.

People can be so peculiar about their fandoms, sometimes.

Oh, and hello, by the way. I mostly just dropped in, after googling the story title. Making sure no one 'borrows' it, as it were.

I worry perhaps you may, as far as this forum's base focus is concerned, be disappointed in this work. It's not really a 'Dark Harry' type story. I am unsure if it will... fit in?

Regardless, thank you for the feedback. Even if you do think I write them like elf-princesses. I never noticed it, but the Unspeakables, as I wrote them really do come off... fey. I wanted to portray them as distant, unnatural and ethereal, for later reasons, but perhaps I went a bit too far.

 

Hey belleradh, nice of you to join here.

I response to the "Dark Harry" thing. I think that the site promotes all kinds of deviations from canon, as long as Harry is more competent. Dark or not, I've seen both well-rated here. They also hate both equally, so unless you make this Harry/Lily, no free stars.

I hadn't quite put my finger on it, but yes, the Unspeakables have fey-like qualities to them. I almost want them to extract a price from Harry ala Dresden!

Anyway, cool that you joined, I'm sure you'll enjoy it if you look around, as I have. Unless you're overly sensitive, but that doesn't seem to be the case.

Kevin

 

When I clicked the link, I thought I was about to get a Dresden crossover involving the Summer Fae. It's the perfect name. I'll check the story every now and then when the DLP thread is bumped; it's just feeling too generic for anything else. No rating vote.

 

From the reviews in this thread... this fic seems retarded.

So I aint going to read it, am just wondering why it has 4stars.

 

Tons of cliche's, fainting!harry, poor dialogue. Any original plot device is stolen from Summer of Change. Harry is extremely weak, hesistant, and stupid. Mildly evil Dumbledore, love potions, blah blah blah.


It's just not very good, sorry. 2/5

 

Whoa whoa whoa..... Fainting!Harry?

Manipulative/Evil Dumbledore + Love Potions = Auto Fail

I don't care how good the writing is.... thats just wrong, I never liked it, even before it was cliché.

 

I read the first 5 chapters, stopping at the powerful Malfoy potions inventor part and the crappy scene where Harry is mesmerized staring at Tonks to the point that she punches him in the nose. I believe I gave it more than a fair shot.

 

Actually, it was kind of refreshing to see lovepotions where Ginny was also a victim, rather than teh evil manipulator. It still fails, but in a refreshing way...

As for the story - I agree that it's a mixed bag. All in all, I don't dislike it, but Harry controlling over a fifth of the wizengamot, Dumbledore pointlessly stealing, and manipulative-but-transparent-as-glass!Dumbledore are all generally instant fail. And then of course, goblin friends and the slow pace only add to that.

But, and it's an important but, overall the story still works. Granted, I don't know what it's working towards, but I found myself able to overlook the massive pile of cliches when normally I would have hit the big red X several thousand words back.

Odd.

 

I find myself agreeing with the majority of the responses here. This is a mixed bag. Some bad cliches that don't work, some that do. Nothing terribly groundbreaking here, but it's interesting enough to compel me to look forward to more. So far it's neither win nor fail. It just depends on where this goes and how long it takes to get there.

Because I'm more than a little skeptical of an author whose longest completed fic is three chapters, and for his first foray into JKR's Potterverse, he plans out a trilogy of 250K word stories? You think the author will even still like the first few chapters of this fic by the time he's finishing up book one of the trilogy?

Maybe it's me, but I think for a lot of authors writing a chapter is twice as hard as the last one was. Thus chapter two is twice as hard as chapter one, chapter three is twice as hard as chapter two or four times as hard as chapter one, and so on and so forth. Until they just get locked at some point, unable to write more.

I'd love to be wrong and see this author actually finish a massive trilogy, but you know, I'm probably not.

3/5 wavering close to 4/5. (Loses points for really bland and tedious angst but gains them for some nifty ideas like the wizard safe, use of riddles, and somewhat original spin on the Department of Mysteries)