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Oneshot The Last Enemy by Rayndeon - T

Discussion in 'Dark Arts' started by ScottPress, Oct 16, 2015.

  1. mickiboy5

    mickiboy5 Squib

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    5/5 wish it was not a one-shot.

    this would be one of the very best if it was novel lenght.
     
  2. Ig810

    Ig810 Squib

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    I'm typically not a huge fan of one sots but this one caught my attention with its unique take on Dark!Harry and solid writing it is easly a 4.5/5.
     
  3. syed

    syed Supermod

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    I always wondered if the veil is the bridge created by the three brothers.
     
  4. Armani

    Armani First Year

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    Overall, I think that this story great, but it does seem a little rushed in my opinion. It is also one of the better protrayals of a good Dark!Harry. So a 4.5/5 for me.
     
  5. gucci

    gucci Squib

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    I found this story to be very well written, but like the above said it was kinda rushed. Interesting plot point that I feel you could have developed into a longer story. 4/5
     
  6. Username

    Username Muggle

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    Original, enjoyable, concise, even if I was expecting the final person summoned from the start. Cannot find a true fault with it, as even the fact it's a one-shot does not detract from the quality. 5/5.
     
  7. LJordan

    LJordan Muggle

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    Excellent.
    Would make a good starting point for a novel length story, but is sufficient as it is.
    Good writing, for as much as one can tell from a short-ish fic.
    Actually believable dark!Harry.
    4,5/5
     
  8. Griffin

    Griffin Muggle

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    I liked it, mostly because it appealed to my imagination in good way, hoping to read what happens after. The story could do with a bit more dialogue, it might make it seem less rushed.
     
  9. syed

    syed Supermod

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    I always thought dementors were a necromatic creation, so what would Harry use them for.
     
  10. ThinkingHurts

    ThinkingHurts Squib

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    As everyone said, it was a bit rushed, but I liked it all the same. Only other problem with is I would have liked to see more interaction with Tom. Overall, I would give it a 4/5.
     
  11. not here right now

    not here right now Squib

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    It's well written, I think the characterization of Harry is quite well done though the ease with which he starts killing bothers me.
    Over all I think I give this a 4/5
     
  12. Miner

    Miner Groundskeeper

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    Considering that canon Harry was remarkably selfless, I find this selfish Harry that eventually led to his descent into the Dark Arts a bit strange.

    BUT I did enjoy the plot, the writing was technically sound, blah blah people before my have said it all already. It was one of the most explorations of the stone and its possibilities I've ever read.

    4/5
     
  13. witch

    witch Squib

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    Nice one-shot! Like others have said, this is a definitely believable Dark! Harry fanfic simply because it relies on his canon personality traits of determination and obsession. It is also interesting to see alternate view of the adult from a growing up of death everywhere.

    4.5/5
     
  14. najex

    najex First Year

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    3.5/5 rounded down for me personaly.
    It was ok.
    It is interesting and well written I admit but I didn't injoy it myself for some reason. More due to personal taste than any fault with the the story, I think. tho I did like how only luna isn't judging him. Probebly good that it is a one shot, I don't think I would read a novel lenght story about this.
     
  15. Oliver Kingston

    Oliver Kingston Fake Flamingo Prestige DLP Supporter

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    5/5 from me as well, this is incredible!

    Rayndeon, I just read Dead Beat so I was wondering from the middle on if you read it, glad to see that someone else really loves that conversation between Harry and Kumori :3

    Unlike many of you fuckers, I actually like this a lot as a One-shot. Some stories only need to be One-shots and this is a great example of something that stands as is as an excellent piece.

    I wouldn't object to seeing more of this Universe from you Rayndeon if you decide to take it further, as long as it's not added as further chapters on this same story, this one works too well on its own.

    Holy shit
     
  16. syed

    syed Supermod

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    If this as a dresden files cross, I would wonder if the bridge they built, crossed the borders of life. It would not be the first time that something metaphorical is actually a real thing.
     
  17. Oliver Kingston

    Oliver Kingston Fake Flamingo Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Not a crossover, there's a conversation in Dead Beat (Dresden 7) that clearly had influence on the author (which he acknowledges in the A/N)

    it's about the idea of using Dark Magic for a noble purpose and that this may mean traditionally Dark or benign magics can be used differently than intended.
     
  18. William31

    William31 Squib

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    Oct 27, 2014
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    Sadly it is a one shot but it is maybe better like this. It avoid the trap of the good/bad ending.
    But more generally it is a very good story, the writing is nearly flawless, the tempo is quick and for it s lenght it is detailled enough!
    Disturbing and original would be the 2 words I would use to describe it!
     
  19. syed

    syed Supermod

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    If he wants to use necromancy for good, he has to permanently deal with dementors.
     
  20. Oliver Kingston

    Oliver Kingston Fake Flamingo Prestige DLP Supporter

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    I... don't think that this is actually possible, that's one of my favorite things about this, that in fact, you CAN'T use any ends to justify these particular means.
     
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