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WIP The Lazy Painter by The Black Mage of Phantasm - M - One Piece

Discussion in 'Anime, Cartoons, and Comics' started by Nemrut, Jun 2, 2018.

  1. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage Prestige

    Aug 9, 2009
    Department of Post-Mortem Communications
    High Score:
    Title: The Lazy Painter
    Author: The Black Mage of Phantasm
    Rating: M
    Genre: Adventure/Drama
    Status: In-Progress
    Words: 59 003
    Summary: Really, it was supposed to be an easy mission. They'd kill the pirates, capture the princess and then she'd go back to eating her rice crackers. But all of her allies had been defeated, leaving her alone. It would've been so easy to let her enemies go, but she wouldn't. She was a pro, and no matter who her targets were, she'd always complete the mission. Nothing would change that.
    Link: ff.net

    So, a good One Piece story, that's worthy of a thread, I'd say.

    The story takes place right after the fight between the Straw Hats and Mr. 3 on Little Garden. Instead of being knocked out and doing whatever it was that she did in canon, here Miss Goldenweek actually tries to get the SH crew again, to kill them and capture Vivi because anything else means her death, since that's how Baroque Works rolls.

    She gives it a really good try - getting a lot of mileage out of her frankly pretty cool ability with emotion-controlling paint- but ultimately fails and is thus imprisoned by the crew and taken with them when they leave the island, partly because Vivi wants information on the criminal organization and their plot and partly because the Straw Hats didn't want to leave a little girl to her death.

    What follows is the best take on every single member of the crew and Vivi that I have seen in fanfiction, a really interesting take on Miss Goldenweek (she is a stone-cold professional and psychopath who is utterly unable to understand that the Straw Hats aren't vicious cut-throats like everyone else she knows and not the precious little girl who was manipulated and forced into this like most fanfics I have seen) and the fascinating interaction that is born from those facts.

    The story perfectly captures the gravitas of One Piece and the lighthearted parts, it manages to portray clashes of what each character is willing to do or stomach with subtlety and grace without getting over-dramatic and cheesy. The values of each character is absolutely true to the person they are, with all the advantages and disadvantages that come from that.

    I was honestly blown away with the way the author portrays the characters.

    The writing in general is pretty solid, there are memorable scenes so far and the chapter length is pretty good and it makes for a captivating read and so far it is getting regular updates.

    The bad stuff is that the updates are regular in the sense that it takes between 2 and 3 months for a new update to be published, with 4 chapters and 60k words the story is still very much in the beginning and while we started on Little Garden, we still haven't reached Drum and I have no idea what the goal is there for the author and if there is an endgame planned, especially seeing that One Piece isn't scheduled to end before the heat death of the universe. So if the plan is to have this go as long as the manga, well, I admit, I don't have faith in its completion but I am happy to eat my words on that front.

    So yeah, I really love this story and am hoping the author will stick to it. Check it out if you like One Piece.

  2. Rehio

    Rehio Heir DLP Supporter

    Jan 1, 2007
    New Mexico
    I went into this one with low expectations. I just haven't encountered many good One Piece stories, and reading one from the point of view of a side character that disappeared a long while back? Eh.

    But damn, this story captures something. It's hard to explain, but you know how every once in a while a story will show the "outside perspective?" Where the author makes you take a step back and look at everything from another angle? Everything seems to have more impact when you're not caught up in the main character's perspective. It makes you acknowledge just how bizarre and extraordinary the events of the story are.

    This entire fic seems to be centered around concept, with a dash of character development thrown in for Miss Goldenweek.

    Nemrut explained it well, and I'm not sure if I can really add anything to his review. Feel like I'm echoing a lot of his points, but I think he captured everything really well.

    There are some problems, though -
    It's difficult to get invested in Wednesday's perspective, but once I stuck to it everything flowed pretty naturally.
    There are a few little spelling errors that nag. "Star Hat" a couple times, and an incorrect use of "you're." That sort of stuff.
    I don't know where this will go. It's been four chapters and 60k words, and while there's been excellent character interaction and enjoyable scenes during that time, I still don't know if this is story is actually going to progress anywhere. It seems like it may just be a sort of character study? An exercise in really digging into interactions and portraying the character's personalities in sincere way. It does it well, if that's the end goal, but I'm not sure if I could stay interested in that over a long period of time.

    4/5. Good stuff. Didn't expect to enjoy it, and I actively tried to stop reading at a couple points just cause I needed to go do something else, but I ended up just straight reading it all in one sitting.
  3. Zombie

    Zombie John Waynes Teeth Prestige DLP Supporter

    Apr 28, 2007
    High Score:
    Not a big Onepiece fan by any definition. I've read some crossovers that borrowed concepts from the story and I've seen some of the epsiodes on TV when there wasn't much else to watch. I was able to make it through this easier than I thought I would.

    There is still something about the One Piece universe that I can't really get into all that much in general.

    Nemrut's review captures well what I would say here, and I don't really feel like restating what's already been said.

    Its not world breaking perfect, but this is probably one of the better one piece fics that I've encountered to date.

  4. illya_

    illya_ First Year

    Mar 13, 2015
    I was worried that the story would get stale. That there is only so long it could survive on another persons perspective on the main cast and the crews absurd dynamic.

    And then chapter 6 went up a few hours ago...
    fuck, right in the feels...

    With this chapter the story shifted gear.

    While we, more or less, already knew about how she had created a mask to protect herself from the cruel world and yet still couldn't let go of everything she cared about...
    In the earlier chapters, it felt clinical in a way. Though in retrospect that was probably the authors intention. Miss Goldenweeks muted her feelings and straight up didn't acknowledge them, and that was how we readers saw them. Glimpses only showing up when her mask cracked from the stress.

    So when her mask more or less shattered...
    With her feelings flowing out despite her best efforts. With how genuine her reactions.

    And the fact that we learned much indirectly, from Zoro's reactions rather than her narration increased the impact. With how desperately she tries to patch up her mask while we come to understand how she truly feels.

    I am touched and impressed.