Excellent. Finally H/F action. Im going to enjoy watching HJ kicking Krums ass in the duels. I enjoyed Peeves' lines. And when you consider that most of the ghosts are centuries old(or atleast thats my take on it) with Mrytle being the newest, most of them lived in a violent age.

 

Response to the chapter is pretty good so far. Still no use trying to post to ff.net. Thanks for the comments.

As for Aimee being evil, probably not here. In Darkness, she was Fleur's "friend," but it seemed that Aimee was driven by lust/anger and a few other things. It was set 2 yrs in the future and there are other differences, her relationship with Stephan hasn't collapsed. She was able to compete in the TWT. She hasn't developed an obsession with Fleur. Not saying she won't in the sequel, but the circumstances are different.

Bill mummified that skank - one of the better death scenes in the story.

Still, Fleur is different from both the Bungle and Darkness versions. I kind of put her on the fence allowing her to be less mature and slightly bitter like the Darkness version, but giving her flashes of humor and naughtiness that the one in Bungle has.

One thing I doubt that I'll be doing in this or the sequel is getting Fleur preggers. It had mixed results in Darkness. In Bungle/TML, it serves it's purpose and sort of becomes a running gag (first Lauren, then Hermione, who knows about Baba Yaga).

Now I have to decide what happens to the DS ship after the Geist has been destroyed. Do small bad things start to happen or do I go for a seafaring riff on the House of Usher?

My other big problem is Lie and TML each have about 5 or 6 chapters worth of story left. I'm trying to decide if I should just push Lie to it's conclusion. It has all the momentum right now.

I'll figure it out by the end of the week.

I feel bad for Jeconais' smtp server with both me and Anne Walsh updating last night. It just finished sending out my roughly 4500 emails, who knows how big her mailing list is.

 

Allow me to decide for you Jim. Finish Lie.

 

Awesome chapter! Can't wait to see the reactions to Harry reviving Alice. I'd also like to see Lie finished first, mainly because I like it better than TML.

And I'm really looking forward to an H/Hr fic written by a competent author.

 

I will have to agree with Ragon here. Lie is defenitely prefered. Lie sequence is also prefered over everything else, but that's just me.

Regarding this chapter, the only word that can describe this is Superb! H/F action, the poltergeist, and MILF interview with Luna combined making this chapter one of the best in this story so far. I'm eagerly awaiting HJ to rub the floor with Krum in the next duel competition.

Is that a nod to Jeconias? I remember a similiar sentence in the Perfect Situation.

 

One of the best chapters in the story. I enjoyed how everything played out, beginning with the Skeeter article that told us what we didn't know about the task, and ending with the Pronghorn and Poltergeist plots developing into Harry and Fleur's relationship. Very good stuff.

Certainly a 5/5 for this one.

 

I like TML, but what I really love [consistently] about each TML chapter release was that Lie would be coming out next =p

"Now I have to decide what happens to the DS ship after the Geist has been destroyed. Do small bad things start to happen or do I go for a seafaring riff on the House of Usher?"

I'm don't understand the line of thought here.... why do misfortune need to befall the ship? Won't that kinda put a crimp on HJ's popularity with the DS contingent, considering that he just destroyed a scary Geist for them?

 

I would say that the geist was connected to the ship. A part of it or its defenses. If its the defenses then I can see Peeves going nuts and if it was a part of the ship then it may start to falling a part or even just fall a part without the geist holding it together.

Or I could be completely and totally 100% wrong.

 

I'd like to see them try to sail the ship back without its 'motor'...

 

Very nicely done, Jim. I especially like the development of Augusta not wanting to pay for specialists to help with Alice. And the couple of lines about why HJ decided to give the Elixer to her (the reverse engineering of the Elixer, double the desire to do it, since it could fix her husband) were brilliantly laid in there. Subtle, but meaningful. I also like that this is how Neville and HJ will bridge the gap that's opened up in their friendship.

Other than that--Finally with the HJ/Fleur. Feels like we've been waiting forever. It'll be interesting to see what happens in the fallout of their finally getting together. After all, we already know Bill was pretty interested, and it gives him more motivation to after HJ when combined with the obliviation of the twins.

Finally, pushing Lie to the end is my vote on the Lie/TML issue.

 

Yeah, that's why he did it....reverse engineering. I'm sure it has nothing to do with his membership in MILF. :awesome
I mean the least Alice could do is give Harry a small thank you for saving her life.

 

@ Freelancer:
I am pretty sure that the unstoppable force versus immovable object reference was to the Dark Knight.

 

I have to confess, this latest chapter made me squeal like a little girl. I especially liked when Myrtle came in and kicked poltergeist ass.

 

Excellent chapter, A+, and as others have said, if the momentum's here, finish it up!

Incidentally, my copy of HHH came in today. I haven't gotten around to reading it yet, but I'll hopefully get a chance by the end of the weekend.

 

I think I just orgasmed. Ooops. Seriously. I should be finishing my thesis paper when I woke up this midnight to see that jbern updated. A few hours lost reading/rereading but definitely worth it. Should go back to my thesis now. Damn you jbern.

PS. please put TML on hold....

 

I enjoyed the latest chapter. Liked Harry's reason for giving the potion to Alice. Fleur reaction to finding out Harry has been spying on her was milder then I would have expected. I'm wondering about Augusta's real reason for not spending the money for specialists.

Since you already have momentum I would say finish "The Lie I've Lived" first.

Your Idea for a Harry/Hermione story is intriguing. She get tried and convicted of actual crimes. I'm already wondering how long you plan on keeping her incarcerated.

Will that be your next story or will you work on something before that one?

 

It was a great chapter.

Just a small thing your betas missed when checking the chapter.

 

Am I the only one who believes that since Krum is HJ's nemesis within the Tournament, he shouldn't be dismissed so easily? Krum may get beaten heavily in the next two tasks (Platform jumping and the second round of the duels) but he'll make a comeback at least in the final task to add that extra drama to the final moments of the Tournament, depending on what it is.

If it were the maze, he would be the one neck and neck with HJ (with Fleur nearby or taken out by Krum himself) at the end. Can't say I have any idea what's planned, though. Jbern continues to surprise.


Nice to see quite a few minor plot points brought back and ended in what was probably the best chapter so far. The fight with the Hogwarts Ghosts (nice touch with Myrtle coming in) and the Giest was fantastic, and definitely a new sight for me. It wasn't quite how I pictured Fleur finding out about HJs Animagus form, but it worked.

I liked the tidbit about Fleur wondering if she was going to fast for HJ. Made me chuckle to myself.

Great work, jbern. While I like TML, I concur that Lie is currently the more interesting one. If you have the momentum on Lie, there's no point in forcing TML to work for you.

 

What this guy said.

 

Let me know if the cover looks decent. The low-res POS thumbnail Createspace put up on Amazon looks like crap. It's supposed to look like the ones in the customer shared pics or the one on my home page. Createspace is the least expensive option for a reason, I've heard many rumors about their dodgy QA.

When I emailed Createspace, they said sorry, but their policy is only to use low res thumbnails.

FF.net finally let me log in. I just uploaded the chapter there.